The funny thing about self-absorbed people is they often are not even aware of their disposition. But, they are recognized by their traits.
We go through this world encountering all sorts of people. And we question many parts of their personality, finding some of these traits rather strange.
For instance, self-absorbed people are often mistaken for those with narcissistic disorders, and they aren’t the same thing. That’s right, you know that neighbor you always call a narcissist, yeah, they might just be a little self-absorbed. You must understand the differences between the two.
What divides the narcissist from the self-absorbed person?
It can quite difficult to tell the difference between those who are self-centered and those who suffer from a narcissistic disorder. But mind you, there is a divide.
While there are many similarities, a narcissist doesn’t usually feel much empathy, while a self-absorbed individual still feels bad when they’ve recognized their irritating quirks. The self-absorbed also actually listen a little during conversations, even though they do love to talk about themselves.
And finally, the narcissist is okay with breaking boundaries and rules like cheating or lying, while someone who is absorbed in themselves still keeps a moral compass.
Habits of self-absorbed people
Okay, here we go. Let’s focus on the real traits of this self-focused personality type. Although they are different from the narcissist, they still have a few traits and habits that seem toxic to others. In truth, there truly is a bit of toxicity in the way they act.
First off, however, we should examine the traits without harsh judgment.
I must admit, I can be self-absorbed, and this is why I recognize this habit. It’s called entitlement. You see, I did go through many terribly traumatic events in my younger years, and I sometimes feel so entitled because of this.
If you’re self-centered, you will feel this entitlement. Often, you will think about all the things you deserve out of life and how unfair life is for not giving you these things. You might see yourself as a righteous person who has proven your worth in this entitlement.
Watch out! It’s easy to fall into this mindset.
Yes, opinions are important, but self-absorbed people consider their opinions more important than others. Do you often catch yourself pressing your beliefs and morals on other people? If so, this could be deeper than just what you “think is right”.
You could be much too deep in yourself, not really taking into consideration what others think about certain subjects. It’s a loud sign when you have such strong opinions that exclude other beliefs.
3. Rule setters
Those who think a little too much about themselves also set some harsh rules for others.
Let’s say you think your friends should contact you a certain amount of time every week and they don’t do this. Well, it’s pretty obvious that you will get angry and try to make hard set rules on spending time together. It’s also obvious that your friends probably will not like this idea.
Self-centered people set many rules, and the funny thing is, they don’t abide by those same standards.
Do you know someone who always interrupts you when you’re talking, then starts talking about something revolving around themselves? If so, you know an extremely self-absorbed person.
Let me venture out to ask you this. Are you that person who just cannot sit still until you interrupt your friend’s story just to talk about you? If you do this, yes, you listen to what they have to say, but you are usually working out the details of your own story while they talk.
It’s a nasty little habit, and more people are prone to this than you might think.
5. Favors and help
People who focus almost entirely on themselves will ask for more help than they give. Have you ever noticed how many times you ask to borrow money and never pay it back? Do you ever try to get favors from friends and never say yes when they ask you for help?
Well, if this describes you, selfishness could be your problem. And where there’s selfishness, there is full focus on self.
6. Secretly insecure
It’s sad to see someone who is trying desperately to cover their insecurities. That’s because they usually strive to cover it with an inflated ego. They also display self-centered attributes.
If you’ve been through trauma in the past, I am sure insecurity has plagued you for years. However, trying to cover it with a larger-than-life self-image is just a temporary fix. Eventually, that balloon will deflate and you’ll be plagued with that low self-esteem once more. Are you recognizing the correlation between the two?
Can we stop being self-absorbed people?
The truth is, YES, we can stop being so focused on ourselves. First, we need to just slow down and notice others. Maybe things in the past were bad for us, and we’re just trying double hard to build our self-esteem.
I get that, and I did that too. But, in order to stop being so “about me”, it’s best to focus on helping others, listening better instead of rehearsing what you will say, and especially stop interrupting people when they talk.
Learning to stop these habits and mindsets might not be easy at first, but the benefits will change your life. You will have more friends because people will want to be around again – probably because you’re now a good listener. They will also love you for being so helpful and kind.
So, let’s make it a goal to work on our self-absorbed behavior, and always strive toward betterment.
We got this!
Copyright © 2012-2021 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.