Being quiet is sometimes seen as a flaw, however, there are many good reasons to be quiet. Quiet and shy people also have many gifts to share.
Before we judge someone as a shy person, it’s worth digging a little deeper into their personality. Sometimes quiet people are shy and sometimes they aren’t. Quietness can be a sign of an introvert, or deep thinker of it may just be that a person is in a quiet mood. Either way, shyness and quietness are not flaws but can be gifts.
Many of us have been criticized for being quiet or shy. Schoolteachers often comment that their quieter students need to be more outgoing and speak up, and studies show that quiet people are less likely to get promotions, especially in the UK and the USA. Interestingly, many countries, such as China and Finland, do not think of quietness as a flaw at all.
So perhaps we need to look at quietness a little differently. Either way, before we judge someone as shy, it’s worth considering whether they may, in fact, be just engaging in one of the following behaviors.
1. They are thinking
When a quiet person is in a group of friends and doesn’t contribute as much to the conversation as others, it could be that they are just thinking. This is especially true if someone is asking for help or guidance. I wouldn’t want to jump in with an unconsidered response that could end up being bad advice.
2. They are interested in you
Quiet people are often fascinated by others. They want to know how others think and feel and what makes them tick. This can mean that they like to listen more than they speak.
If you are lucky enough to have a friend who is quiet, then make the most of it. In this life, it’s not often that we have someone willing to really listen deeply to what we have to say.
3. They have exceptional manners
Quiet people are often very polite and considerate. This means that they won’t interrupt someone else or push themselves forward in a group. Unfortunately, others may not be as patient and this can mean that the quiet person doesn’t get a word in even if they want to.
If you have a quiet friend or colleague, notice when they seem like they are trying to join in a conversation and try to make sure they get a chance to make their point.
4. They are secure
Sometimes loud people talk because they find silence awkward. Some quiet folk are not shy people at all; in fact, they are very secure in themselves. This means they are comfortable with natural silences in conversation and don’t rush in to fill the void with meaningless chatter.
5. They are waiting for more information
Often quiet people have things they want to say, but they are unsure how they will be taken. At times like this, they may want to listen to a bit more to get a better idea of what is really going on.
For example, a person who is ranting about their partner may just want to let off steam. If someone then agrees that their partner is awful, that might upset them. So often, a quiet person is just waiting for further information so that they can be certain of what the other person or people require from them.
6. They are feeling tired or under the weather
On some occasions, people may come across as shy people, when in fact, they are just not feeling at their best. It could be that their quietness is nothing more than that they didn’t sleep well, have a cold, or are worried about something.
7. They lack confidence
Though quietness can come from being secure, it can also come from a lack of confidence. Shy people may think that their ideas or comments aren’t clever or funny enough to share.
These people usually get less quiet once they feel secure within a group of friends and colleagues. They can get a huge boost of self-esteem when their funny comment makes others laugh or others consider their remark clever or insightful.
So, being quiet can have many causes, and some people may be loud in some situations and quiet in others. Usually, it’s best not to assume someone is a shy person just because they are quieter than others. They may, in fact, be very socially skilled.
Besides this, shy people are not flawed, in fact, many of the traits mentioned above can be very beneficial.
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.