We spend around a third of our lives at work, so it’s important to get on with our coworkers. But what if your colleague is threatened by you and makes your life miserable? How can you tell? Why do they feel threatened? Before we get into the reasons, here are 16 signs your coworker is threatened by you.
Competition in the workplace can be fun, stimulating even. However, some coworkers turn everything into a competition. If your coworker uses work as a place to outdo you, it’s a sign they feel threatened by you.
Is work easier without this person? When your coworker is absent, the atmosphere lightens, people connect, and teamwork flourishes.
People feel threatened when they can’t control the situation. One way a threatened coworker feels in control is to act like they’re in charge. Perhaps they’re ordering you about or assigning jobs to you.
Some coworkers feel threatened when a colleague gets praise or recognition from their managers. They see it as a direct threat to their progress within the company.
If you’re new to your job, you might wonder why everyone in your office avoids this coworker who appears charming and helpful to you. Your coworkers have been there longer, seen their manipulation tactics, and learned to keep their distance.
Have you ever gone into work and noticed your coworkers discussing the after-work drinks party that they didn’t invite you to? Excluding someone from a social event is an insidious way of undermining your standing within the company.
Threatened coworkers frequently check your work to monitor your progress. Coworkers that are threatened by you will watch you make mistakes without correcting or helping you.
Have you noticed a coworker constantly talking over or interrupting you in meetings? If they feel threatened by your input, they’ll want to stop you from contributing and impressing the managers.
Coworkers feeling threatened by you might try taking credit for your work. By taking credit, they elevate themselves and draw attention away from your achievements.
We can’t agree with everyone all the time, but have you noticed that one person always slams down your ideas? Healthy discussion is one thing, but disparaging all your ideas is a sign your coworker is threatened by you. They’re afraid you’ll steal their thunder.
There’s nothing worse than showing up at a meeting unprepared. It looks unprofessional and lazy, and this is exactly what your threatened coworker is aiming for. They’ll purposely exclude you from emails and even ‘forget’ to tell you about meetings. By not being informed, you are at a disadvantage.
Excluding you from emails is one thing, deliberately sabotaging you at work is something much worse. Sabotage can be covert or overt. Examples of passive-aggressive sabotage include failing to provide important information and more direct sabotage approaches include lying about you.
People gossip all the time. It’s human nature, but when the gossip becomes vindictive and threatens your employment, you must act. You shouldn’t ignore or dismiss coworkers that tell lies about you. They are dangerous.
When coworkers make a mistake, the helpful among us tries to help and rectify that mistake. One of the more telling signs your coworker is threatened by you is if they seize on your mistakes as an opportunity to run to the manager, highlighting your errors.
Coworkers that feel threatened can use underhand tactics to manipulate and throw you off balance. By blaming you for their mistakes, they’re gaslighting you and chipping away at your confidence.
After months of being ignored, interrupted, criticized, or excluded, suddenly your nemesis is cozying up to you. Be wary if your coworker takes an abrupt interest in you; it could be a sign they feel threatened and they’re trying to get to know the competition better.
There are several reasons a coworker might feel threatened by you:
When a coworker exhibits signs they feel threatened by you, it affects you in the following ways:
If you experience any of the above signs and you are convinced a coworker feels threatened by you, there are several things you can do to resolve the situation.
Some toxic workplace situations derive from a misunderstanding. Without being confrontational, talk to the coworker about the issue. Use language such as “I feel…” and “I noticed…”, for example;
“I feel my ideas are not being taken seriously.” or “I noticed I’m being left off emails recently.”
Work is such a major part of our lives. When we’re unhappy at work, it permeates all other aspects of our life. It’s crucial therefore to talk to friends and family. They can provide support and advice, and you won’t feel so alone.
Being on the receiving end of workplace bullying is isolating and damages your confidence. Building relationships with other colleagues creates a support network that can provide a sounding board or comforting ear when things become intolerable.
Before going to HR, it’s important to have a record of your grievances. Keep a diary of all the times you felt undermined, sabotaged, left out of important communication, etc.
If talking to the individual hasn’t worked (or made it worse) approach a senior colleague and ask them to mediate the situation. Be professional and don’t resort to name-calling. Emphasize your concerns and show how this is affecting your work.
It’s a last resort, but if all else fails, you have no option but to ask Human Resources for help. Larger companies should have guidelines and methods to deal with toxic coworkers.
However, smaller companies may not have an HR department. In these cases, seek advice from professionals such as unions or solicitors that deal with workplace disputes.
There are lots of reasons a coworker might feel threatened by you, and lots of ways it manifests. However, there’s no excuse for toxic behavior. Workplace bullying can have serious repercussions, so make sure you address it and look after yourself.