In order to “find the key” to any person and make contact, first of all you should be ready for this contact. Being internally closed, guarded and reclusive, you can hardly count on the success of communication. This does not mean that you have to disclose your soul or trust and let into your life anybody and everybody. The point is to learn to create comfortable environment most conducive to conversation, remaining yourself and keeping the inviolability of borders of your life territory. To do this, you will have to practice the creation of an appropriate internal attitude and learn the secrets of effective interaction with other people.
Notice what kind of people unconsciously attracts others and you will see that these people seem to produce heat and light. And it can be learned. Moreover, it is not necessary to always smile and feign kindness on your face.
When you feel as if having a “small flashlight” inside you, other people around you feel that you are a friendly and open to dialogue person and that talking to you, first of all, is nice and, secondly, is safe. This way, you immediately remove barriers and wariness between you and your interlocutor. Think what advantages it can give you.
Become open and defended at the same time. The point is to consciously “switch on” this inner light and learn to control it. Then your kindness, openness and internal heat in communication will be your strong point and will never turn into vulnerability. Of course, many would try to benefit from an open and friendly person, confusing his openness with weakness. But if you can manage your inner state and control yourself, your inner light will not prevent you from standing up for yourself if necessary, but, on the contrary, will only help that. Because after all, it also protects you from unwanted influences. After a little practice, you will notice that your inner light allows you to keep not only the perfect mood in any situation, but also sober, clear head.
In the beginning, practice alone. Imagine that your eyes emit light just like light bulbs. Try not to “pull” a smile and generally maintain a normal expression. If a smile raises itself – let it be, but only if it is completely natural, without any control of your will.
Then imagine that the light fills your entire body. Now, the light rays are coming not only from the eyes, but also from the heart. Keep this state for as long as you can.
Once you learn to reach this state with ease, practice it somewhere in a public place, such as on the street or in public transport. Try to light the inner light and keep it, talking to some stranger – in a supermarket, in the bus, etc. Remember that you do not need to show anything special or try to have any particular expression on your face. All you need is to light the inner light.
The rule is to use your internal light in any situation where you have to communicate with others. Over time, you will do it automatically. Do not be surprised if very soon people you communicate with will speak of you as of a very nice and likable person.