How to teach a toxic person a lesson in your life? Well, honestly, a few things. If you want to protect your sanity, there are a few practical ways to stand your ground.
Teaching a toxic person a lesson may not be like beating up the bully or proving narcissistic behavior to others around you. After all, it’s almost impossible to rip off the narcissist’s mask in front of everyone.
However, you can show the hateful individual that you won’t go quietly. Standing up for yourself and doing other small courageous moves can drastically improve your life.
Here’s the thing: toxic people could be anyone in your life, including your parents, friends, siblings, or even your mate. How you deal with them depends on the relationship.
So, teaching this person or persons a lesson won’t always be easy. But for your mental health, this move may be necessary. Let’s look at a few ways we can put a stop to how toxic behavior affects us. Let’s teach them a lesson, shall we?
Most of you know what the gray rock method is, but just in case you don’t, let me explain. This method of winning against a toxic person takes perseverance.
When narcissists, for instance, do things to get a reaction, you can refuse to show emotion. While this is easier said than done, ignoring the toxic person’s attempts to make you angry or upset will deflate their egos.
After many attempts to start a fight, they will realize that you actually have the upper hand by holding your emotions and refusing to respond. They learn quickly by this.
We, as humans, are so used to explaining ourselves too much. The toxic person knows this already and uses this guilt to get what they want. In fact, toxic people expect you to always say yes to them because they feel they are right all the time.
When you say no without any explanation, however, the mind of the toxic individual cannot understand this. It throws them for a loop and they learn you aren’t as pliable as they thought. Also, when you say no, just walk away. It cements the point.
Speaking of walking away, the narcissist will learn quickly if you stay unavailable for their manipulative tactics.
For instance, every time they try to start an obviously toxic conversation, tell them, “I have to get work done. I don’t have time to talk”, or something similar. Making yourself unavailable for all the negative confrontations will teach the toxic person that you know what they’re doing. Thus, you will not be present for the garbage.
Listen to the voice inside when it comes to your boundaries. Toxic people will use you up before you understand what’s happened. If you feel like something isn’t right, then just know that your boundaries, set before, are being broken. And usually, this happens gradually over time, especially when it concerns someone close to you, like a partner.
To teach a toxic person a lesson, let them know your boundaries and refuse to let them cross those boundaries. They will get the message.
When you’re saying no, setting boundaries, and making yourself unavailable, you don’t have to be mean about it. You can stand strong with love and compassion to get your point across.
Just say what you mean and do this without yelling or insults. This sends a message to the toxic person about how they should be. It’s a lesson that helps you grow and plant seeds that may help them as well.
A toxic person will rarely take responsibility for the things they do. This means, if they can, they will blame you.
So, to really teach them a lesson, refuse to take the blame, even if this means making them angry. It may not change the way they act, but they will have learned that you won’t be playing any of their games.
The narcissist, for instance, loves to use the silent treatment when you make them angry. But instead of letting this get to you, walk away. This reinforces the fact that you don’t care if they stop speaking to you. When they see you aren’t affected, most of the time they will start talking again.
Unfortunately, it may be more toxic talk, but, at least, they will learn a lesson about not using the silent treatment. Toxic people, when failing to win, will return to their bag of tricks until there are no tricks left to try.
The faster you teach a toxic person a lesson, the sooner your life will improve, and improve exponentially. This doesn’t mean you should have constant negative confrontations, as I mentioned above. As you can see, you can fight back without being cruel at all. This teaches so much in itself as you try to be strong and compassionate.
I know it’s difficult not to get angry all the time, as a toxic person can be insufferable. But, to be a better you, it’s always best to take the high road when you can. After all, you wouldn’t want to become what you don’t like in the other person.
Be better and do better. It’s always the best way to go.
Featured image by wayhomestudio on Freepik
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But they will usually say you are doing this because you don't care about me or you don't like me ?
Yes, they will sometimes. This is just another twisted manipulation tactic that you must learn. The truth is, you must practice discernment so you can tell the difference between when you are being cruel and when you are putting your foot down. People play the victim so much that its hard to tell the difference. You know who you are, so retain that truth inside. Use that as your compass and pay attention to body language.