Often we pay the most attention to those with the loudest voices and the most to say. In doing this, we underestimate the power of the quiet ones.

At any gathering of people, be it a party or a business meeting, there will be those who talk loudly and demand attention. These extroverts have lots of great ideas, are socially adept and draw others to them like moths to a flame. At that same party or business meeting, there will often be a quiet one.

This person says little but listens a lot. If you watch carefully, you may see that he or she is taking everything in. When they finally speak, the rest of the group are often astonished by the power of their ideas or the insights the quiet one shares.

There is nothing wrong with either of these types of people. We need both the outgoing extroverts and the quieter, more introverted people to make society work.

The problem is, that in our current society, we pay the most attention to those who make the most noise. And this is a mistake. By doing this, we miss out on the amazing ideas and insights of the quiet one in the room.

Ways quiet people are often misunderstood

It is often assumed that quiet people have little to say, or that they are socially awkward. People may assume they don’t have any insights or ideas. Some people may even decide they lack intelligence. People may also assume that quiet people are weak, submissive and passive. None of these things are true.

In fact, quiet people are often strong, creative, intuitive and brilliant. We shouldn’t assume that just because they are quiet they will put up with bad behavior either. Quiet people watch and listen and when they have all the information they need, they act. So watch out that you don’t upset the quiet one – you could be in for a shock.

This hilarious quote from Amy Efaw sums it up:

“Don’t judge me because I’m quiet. No one plans a murder out loud.”

So here are six reasons you should never underestimate the power of a quiet person:

1. The quietest folk listen a lot and may know more than other people suspect.

The reason quiet people are quiet is that they are listening. Unfortunately, some louder people spend so much time talking they have little time for listening or thinking. Quiet people don’t make this mistake. They listen carefully and think deeply so you can be sure that when they finally do speak, they have something amazing to say.

Louder people should never assume that a quiet person has less knowledge or intelligence than them. If they do, they may well end up looking stupid.

2. Quiet people observe and pick up on more than others

It’s very hard to fool a quiet person. They listen and watch everything that goes on carefully. While louder types may amaze others with their eloquence and enthusiasm, the quiet one in the room will notice when those words have little depth and are full of bluster or badly thought through ideas.

They also pick up on much more than the words that are spoken. Quiet people focus on behavior and body language too. This means they easily spot inauthentic behaviors and outright lies and deceptions.

Be afraid of the quiet ones, they are the ones who actually think.

3. Quietness does not equate with weakness – so don’t mess with them

Quiet people will speak out against any wrongdoing or unfairness. They are quick to point out bad behavior. Quiet folk are often slow to defend themselves, but once they are pushed too far, they can react with astonishing power. They are also quick to support more vulnerable members of the group. Quiet people have high moral standards and a strong backbone so it’s best to keep on their good side.

4. Even the quietest of people have excellent social skills

Quiet people do not lack social skills. They just use a different set of skills to extroverts. In their own unobtrusive way, they develop close relationships built on trust and mutual respect. And when they are with those whose company they enjoy, they can be the life and soul of the party.

5. Quiet people can be just as determined and loyal as louder folk

Extroverts who think quiet people have little to offer should beware. While others are networking and proclaiming their ideas, quiet people are creating bonds of trust with others. They are also determinedly working on brilliant ideas of their own that, when revealed, will stun everyone else into silence.

6. Quiet people will not tolerate being treated badly

Even the nicest people have their limits

Some extroverts assume that they can easily take advantage of quiet people. This isn’t true. Quiet people have a well-developed sense of their own value. If anyone tries to fob them off with the boring and less prestigious jobs they will rebel. It isn’t wise to do this anyway as quiet people’s insights can be extremely useful to the group or team.

To sum up, always pay attention to the quiet ones. Though their mouths are often closed, their minds are wide open.

What other benefits are there to being the quiet one? Please share your thoughts with us in the comments section.

References:

  1. Psychology Today
  2. Wikipedia
Kirstie Pursey

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This Post Has 24 Comments

  1. Avatar
    Ann Mary Tudu

    It’s 💯% true

  2. Avatar
    Deanne Quarrie

    One of the reasons your often don’t hear from the quiet one is that they have a hard time getting into the conversation – Extroverts interrupt all the time but an introvert can’t find an open space in which to inject a comment.

    1. Avatar
      Prëçïøūs

      Yeah that’s right

  3. Avatar
    Donte VanDyke

    I am one of those “quiet types” & I can definitely vouch for this.. I used to be a outgoing & loud person, but my past experiences with society made me quiet & not really talk. There’s more to life than being loud & obnoxious ya know? Sometimes you learn a lot by just listening & observing! I’m a observant type of guy, I observe a person for at least a few weeks before I talk to them, that’s just how I am.. but I never judge anyone, as my life isn’t perfect but seriously you never underestimate me, I know more than you think, I know everything about a person before I even speak! I can tell what kind of person you are just by looking & observing! & Never think because I’m quiet that I’m “weak” I have more mind power to destroy your life then anyone could imagine.. I’m not weird, I’m just quiet. I have a lot of strength for being a “quiet guy” I hear people talk but I never say anything. So please, never underestimate the quiet ones. Thank you for letting me comment:)

    1. Avatar
      TrickyRabbit

      My goodness. So many words to simply agree. I believe you most likely were astonishly put to shame by a reserved person & it fractured your ego. Now you want to be quiet to prevent it happening again. Just be yourself. We can tell when you are hiding. 😘

  4. Avatar
    FOUR

    I would really like to have a toast with the author right now. My insides are having a party after reading this. THESE WORDS ARE EXACT. ✨

  5. Avatar
    Linda

    This is absolutely true!

  6. Avatar
    Svend

    Quiet people are people without the noise. As such they have more time and space for the essential things in life which translates to certain advantages over the majority of crowd-joining extroverts. Your excellent article describes some of these advantages very aptly. Thank you.

  7. Avatar
    Will D

    While there is some truth to this article, I’ve found quiet people to be highly sensitive to a fault that revolves around some deep seated insecurity like jealousy, fear and even paranoia. The worst is when being too quiet stems from a passive agressive impulse. Although, it is not classified as such, in my experience, I find passive aggressive personalities to be borderline sociopath. They are far more dangerous than the person who is just out right aggressive and it will eventually get over it. People who are quietly passive aggressive are stewing like a volcano underneath their creepy quiet smiles. I don’t have time for that nonsense.

    1. Avatar
      Julie

      The passive aggressive type sounds just like my boss! She is ultra creepy, and rarely speaks to anyone in the department other than to say “good morning” and “goodbye”. She acts deathly afraid of confrontation, but then acts condescending in emails if she has anything negative to say. You just never know where you stand with these types, and it’s awful.

      On the other hand, I’m somewhat introverted – VERY much so around her, because I don’t feel that I can trust her, and also feel like she wants everyone to remain silent. My introversion matches nearly everything stated in this article, and it goes away completely when I’m surrounded by friends. I’m very genuine, and just speak the truth. The passive aggressive ones have an agenda, definitely have sociopathic tendencies, and are often narcissistic as well – which is not common of true introverts.

    2. Avatar
      TrickyRabbit

      Sounds like PTSD. Someone or something pushed that person way beyond their tolerable limits.
      Try to quietly sympathize since you cannot empathize.
      Seriously. Be quiet around them. They can no longer stand the noise.😘

  8. Avatar
    Zafar Iqbal

    A Very Nice & Good Info

  9. Avatar
    name

    I like this and it’s 100% true

  10. Avatar
    DrtyDee

    A natural or man-made event could eradicate narcopaths from the world.

  11. Avatar
    Paul Ossai

    Comment…really love the message,its awesome and have a lot to give thanks

  12. Avatar
    Cristina

    Yup that’s me I observe those around me carefully.I’m kind and a nice person aswell but if anybody says something to me that triggers me it doesn’t matter who it is I will boil quick and explode that eyes pop out.😆

  13. Avatar
    Penny

    While extroverts are busy socializing introverts are quietly amassing information about their subjects of interest. As they get older the amount of knowledge they possess can be incomprehensible to an extrovert that has spent his life with people not books. For this reason they are excellent problem solvers, winners and deliverers when working in their area of interest. If you want to win; partner with an introvert that shares your interests.

  14. Avatar
    desean m.

    this passage is true

  15. Avatar
    Gunther

    I am quiet; however, I let too many people take advantage of me and did not speak my mind when I should have. In addition, when I have spoken my mind, I get mentally and physically slapped down.

  16. Avatar
    Ethen

    I’m a 2 sided person when I’m at school I ask question after after question the kid in my class hate me with a blessing because the teacher can never teach but I asked questions that were valid and I learn a lot I read ahead finish the work before it’s Ben given I’m considered a extrovert even though I don’t talk out unless to ask question I’m a observer and every person who knows me calls me the the silent type so I get what your saying it makes perfect sense except that even the ones who talk to know one who if you if this you seemed involved they still spit on you

  17. Avatar
    Richard Pullin

    Good article, I can vouch for all this. I can also add that, as a quiet person, I am very uninterested in small-talk. I hate being asked questions like “what did you have for lunch today,” which seems to be a question for the sake of it, rather than to start a conversation of any interest. I do realize, though, that questions like these are just pleasantries, which is fine.
    The trouble is, I know when someone is not being fair to me or thinks they can take advantage of my quiet and forgiving nature. I know I need to stand up for myself more, but in those situations I’m worried about upsetting them (even if they’ve upset me enough times before). I guess that finding it difficult to be mean to people isn’t something to be ashamed of. What’s truly tragic is when someone doesn’t realize that they should/can stand up for themselves

    1. Avatar
      KL-Base

      Your situation is the same as me, I am a student as school and I am kind of looked down by those popular extrovert people. Long Live the Introvert!

  18. Avatar
    Veronica

    Great article that talks of my introverted self in which I have faced the challenge of standing up for myself after realizing i’m being taken advantage of by my work superiors due to my quiet nature which affects me alot.

  19. Avatar
    KL-Base

    I understand everything you have write, they are all true as I am an introvert, personally experience it.

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