Often we pay the most attention to those with the loudest voices and the most to say. In doing this, we underestimate the power of the quiet ones.
At any gathering of people, be it a party or a business meeting, there will be those who talk loudly and demand attention. These extroverts have lots of great ideas, are socially adept and draw others to them like moths to a flame. At that same party or business meeting, there will often be a quiet one.
This person says little but listens a lot. If you watch carefully, you may see that he or she is taking everything in. When they finally speak, the rest of the group are often astonished by the power of their ideas or the insights the quiet one shares.
There is nothing wrong with either of these types of people. We need both the outgoing extroverts and the quieter, more introverted people to make society work.
The problem is, that in our current society, we pay the most attention to those who make the most noise. And this is a mistake. By doing this, we miss out on the amazing ideas and insights of the quiet one in the room.
Ways quiet people are often misunderstood
It is often assumed that quiet people have little to say, or that they are socially awkward. People may assume they don’t have any insights or ideas. Some people may even decide they lack intelligence. People may also assume that quiet people are weak, submissive and passive. None of these things are true.
In fact, quiet people are often strong, creative, intuitive and brilliant. We shouldn’t assume that just because they are quiet they will put up with bad behavior either. Quiet people watch and listen and when they have all the information they need, they act. So watch out that you don’t upset the quiet one – you could be in for a shock.
This hilarious quote from Amy Efaw sums it up:
“Don’t judge me because I’m quiet. No one plans a murder out loud.”
So here are six reasons you should never underestimate the power of a quiet person:
1. The quietest folk listen a lot and may know more than other people suspect.
The reason quiet people are quiet is that they are listening. Unfortunately, some louder people spend so much time talking they have little time for listening or thinking. Quiet people don’t make this mistake. They listen carefully and think deeply so you can be sure that when they finally do speak, they have something amazing to say.
Louder people should never assume that a quiet person has less knowledge or intelligence than them. If they do, they may well end up looking stupid.
2. Quiet people observe and pick up on more than others
It’s very hard to fool a quiet person. They listen and watch everything that goes on carefully. While louder types may amaze others with their eloquence and enthusiasm, the quiet one in the room will notice when those words have little depth and are full of bluster or badly thought through ideas.
They also pick up on much more than the words that are spoken. Quiet people focus on behavior and body language too. This means they easily spot inauthentic behaviors and outright lies and deceptions.
3. Quietness does not equate with weakness – so don’t mess with them
Quiet people will speak out against any wrongdoing or unfairness. They are quick to point out bad behavior. Quiet folk are often slow to defend themselves, but once they are pushed too far, they can react with astonishing power. They are also quick to support more vulnerable members of the group. Quiet people have high moral standards and a strong backbone so it’s best to keep on their good side.
4. Even the quietest of people have excellent social skills
Quiet people do not lack social skills. They just use a different set of skills to extroverts. In their own unobtrusive way, they develop close relationships built on trust and mutual respect. And when they are with those whose company they enjoy, they can be the life and soul of the party.
5. Quiet people can be just as determined and loyal as louder folk
Extroverts who think quiet people have little to offer should beware. While others are networking and proclaiming their ideas, quiet people are creating bonds of trust with others. They are also determinedly working on brilliant ideas of their own that, when revealed, will stun everyone else into silence.
6. Quiet people will not tolerate being treated badly
Some extroverts assume that they can easily take advantage of quiet people. This isn’t true. Quiet people have a well-developed sense of their own value. If anyone tries to fob them off with the boring and less prestigious jobs they will rebel. It isn’t wise to do this anyway as quiet people’s insights can be extremely useful to the group or team.
To sum up, always pay attention to the quiet ones. Though their mouths are often closed, their minds are wide open.
What other benefits are there to being the quiet one? Please share your thoughts with us in the comments section.
Copyright © 2012-2023 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
This Post Has 35 Comments
It’s 💯% true
One of the reasons your often don’t hear from the quiet one is that they have a hard time getting into the conversation – Extroverts interrupt all the time but an introvert can’t find an open space in which to inject a comment.
Yeah that’s right
I am one of those “quiet types” & I can definitely vouch for this.. I used to be a outgoing & loud person, but my past experiences with society made me quiet & not really talk. There’s more to life than being loud & obnoxious ya know? Sometimes you learn a lot by just listening & observing! I’m a observant type of guy, I observe a person for at least a few weeks before I talk to them, that’s just how I am.. but I never judge anyone, as my life isn’t perfect but seriously you never underestimate me, I know more than you think, I know everything about a person before I even speak! I can tell what kind of person you are just by looking & observing! & Never think because I’m quiet that I’m “weak” I have more mind power to destroy your life then anyone could imagine.. I’m not weird, I’m just quiet. I have a lot of strength for being a “quiet guy” I hear people talk but I never say anything. So please, never underestimate the quiet ones. Thank you for letting me comment:)
My goodness. So many words to simply agree. I believe you most likely were astonishly put to shame by a reserved person & it fractured your ego. Now you want to be quiet to prevent it happening again. Just be yourself. We can tell when you are hiding. 😘
I would really like to have a toast with the author right now. My insides are having a party after reading this. THESE WORDS ARE EXACT. ✨
This is absolutely true!
Quiet people are people without the noise. As such they have more time and space for the essential things in life which translates to certain advantages over the majority of crowd-joining extroverts. Your excellent article describes some of these advantages very aptly. Thank you.
While there is some truth to this article, I’ve found quiet people to be highly sensitive to a fault that revolves around some deep seated insecurity like jealousy, fear and even paranoia. The worst is when being too quiet stems from a passive agressive impulse. Although, it is not classified as such, in my experience, I find passive aggressive personalities to be borderline sociopath. They are far more dangerous than the person who is just out right aggressive and it will eventually get over it. People who are quietly passive aggressive are stewing like a volcano underneath their creepy quiet smiles. I don’t have time for that nonsense.
The passive aggressive type sounds just like my boss! She is ultra creepy, and rarely speaks to anyone in the department other than to say “good morning” and “goodbye”. She acts deathly afraid of confrontation, but then acts condescending in emails if she has anything negative to say. You just never know where you stand with these types, and it’s awful.
On the other hand, I’m somewhat introverted – VERY much so around her, because I don’t feel that I can trust her, and also feel like she wants everyone to remain silent. My introversion matches nearly everything stated in this article, and it goes away completely when I’m surrounded by friends. I’m very genuine, and just speak the truth. The passive aggressive ones have an agenda, definitely have sociopathic tendencies, and are often narcissistic as well – which is not common of true introverts.
This comment is for Will D and Julie…. It appears that the “quiet” person you’re referring to may be the vunerable Narcissist, which is kind of like the quiet man’s Megalomaniac. Vunerable Narcissism are Cluster B and are a different animal from your regular “quiet guy.” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vulnerable_narcissism
Sounds like PTSD. Someone or something pushed that person way beyond their tolerable limits.
Try to quietly sympathize since you cannot empathize.
Seriously. Be quiet around them. They can no longer stand the noise.😘
A Very Nice & Good Info
I like this and it’s 100% true
A natural or man-made event could eradicate narcopaths from the world.
Comment…really love the message,its awesome and have a lot to give thanks
Yup that’s me I observe those around me carefully.I’m kind and a nice person aswell but if anybody says something to me that triggers me it doesn’t matter who it is I will boil quick and explode that eyes pop out.😆
While extroverts are busy socializing introverts are quietly amassing information about their subjects of interest. As they get older the amount of knowledge they possess can be incomprehensible to an extrovert that has spent his life with people not books. For this reason they are excellent problem solvers, winners and deliverers when working in their area of interest. If you want to win; partner with an introvert that shares your interests.
this passage is true
I am quiet; however, I let too many people take advantage of me and did not speak my mind when I should have. In addition, when I have spoken my mind, I get mentally and physically slapped down.
I’m a 2 sided person when I’m at school I ask question after after question the kid in my class hate me with a blessing because the teacher can never teach but I asked questions that were valid and I learn a lot I read ahead finish the work before it’s Ben given I’m considered a extrovert even though I don’t talk out unless to ask question I’m a observer and every person who knows me calls me the the silent type so I get what your saying it makes perfect sense except that even the ones who talk to know one who if you if this you seemed involved they still spit on you
Good article, I can vouch for all this. I can also add that, as a quiet person, I am very uninterested in small-talk. I hate being asked questions like “what did you have for lunch today,” which seems to be a question for the sake of it, rather than to start a conversation of any interest. I do realize, though, that questions like these are just pleasantries, which is fine.
The trouble is, I know when someone is not being fair to me or thinks they can take advantage of my quiet and forgiving nature. I know I need to stand up for myself more, but in those situations I’m worried about upsetting them (even if they’ve upset me enough times before). I guess that finding it difficult to be mean to people isn’t something to be ashamed of. What’s truly tragic is when someone doesn’t realize that they should/can stand up for themselves
Your situation is the same as me, I am a student as school and I am kind of looked down by those popular extrovert people. Long Live the Introvert!
Great article that talks of my introverted self in which I have faced the challenge of standing up for myself after realizing i’m being taken advantage of by my work superiors due to my quiet nature which affects me alot.
I understand everything you have write, they are all true as I am an introvert, personally experience it.
yessss 😀 very true
Am the type of quiet guy who don’t talk and I possess all this characteristics but the problem I sometimes have is I don’t think while speaking. I sometimes say something very disgraceful to myself when talking to someone.
This is true, I’m the quiet creepy type at school, I don’t talk. I used to be extroverted and outgoing until life changed. I don’t like interaction and have gotten anxiety. But if someone bullies me they are a dead man.
Coming from a quiet person myself. What i tend to do when people try and tease or bully me is to just show no reaction or just laugh with them. Then they ended up leaving me alone cause i was no fun when they tried to bully me. Moral of the story is most things dont need a reaction if it dosent disturb your state of mind.
‘No one plans a murder out loud’ I can agree with that shit. Since people thought I was a quiet kid and got idiotic assumptions about me. There were times when I had to lowball those and even beat up in front of the whole school. Not even the teachers had the balls to stop me since I was literally letting the anger of my whole life release on a single person. Never mess with a Quiet kid or you’ll have your whole existence fade in just a day.
Well ure actually talking about me. Am too quiet that people actually mistake my quietness for Snobbery. I don’t talk too much but am a good listener, I take my time and observe things before I talk. I choose my words when talking to people, I don’t just say anything that enters my brain. At first people thought I was rude but after sometime I started having friends and they started understanding me, especially the girls. The worst thing u can ever do is to pick on me in the presence of girls cuz :-
1. Am quiet
2. Am handsome
3. Am serious when it comes to studies.
Am good at controlling my temper but note, my patience has its limit. A quiet person isn’t a fool.
Quiet people Observe more than they speak. But when they speak, It is of the words.
yes all of this is true i been bullied,teased, and laughed at all the time but idc cus no one is going to stop me from graduating from high school, im not going to just sit there and let them talk about me in any way one day i will be able to stand up for myself. for now just ignore all the negativity they throw at u they will hate u cus you are better than them and smarter than them dont ever let nobody ruin your life by bulling u they are extremely cowards for messing with the quiet ones
I am the quiet one. I agree with everything I have just “observed” lol well read, obviously was a cute joke. Anyway I wanted to comment about the saying “Beware the quiet one” basically it is more like “Do not beware the quiet one, beware when the quiet one starts to speak” for I have only recently delved deep into my potential. Beware what I am capable of. Not in a dangerous way, but in a life altering way. Society is broken and falling. When it does, I will be there to speak, as will many more. My goal is to spread truth, freedom and unity throughout humanity. That is the path to love, without the lust. Even if society does not fall, I will make a change within it. Somewhere down the line, I will do right by our people, and fight corruption. The ones who should truly beware the quiet ones, are the evil ones.
I think the quiet ones have a excellent upbringing and never hurt a soul, and they only stand up for themselves if needed be, and I would never judge a quiet person negatively. They deserve better!