6 Reasons Why You Should Never Mess with the Quiet One

///6 Reasons Why You Should Never Mess with the Quiet One

Often we pay most attention to those with the loudest voices and the most to say. In doing this, we underestimate the power of the quiet one.

At any gathering of people, be it a party or a business meeting, there will be those who talk loudly and demand attention. These extroverts have lots of great ideas, are socially adept and draw others to them like moths to a flame. In that same party or business meeting, there will often be a quiet one. This person says little but listens a lot. If you watch carefully, you may see that he or she is taking everything in. When they finally speak, the rest of the group are often astonished by the power of their ideas or the insights the quiet one shares.

There is nothing wrong with either of these types of people. We need both the outgoing extroverts and the quieter, more introverted people to make society work.

The problem is, that in our current society, we pay most attention to those who make the most noise. And this is a mistake. By doing this, we miss out on the amazing ideas and insights of the quiet one in the room.

Ways quiet people are often misunderstood

It is often assumed that quiet people have little to say, or that they are socially awkward. People may assume they don’t have any insights or ideas. Some people may even decide they lack intelligence. People may also assume that quiet people are weak, submissive and passive. None of these things are true.

In fact, quiet people are often strong, creative, intuitive and brilliant. We shouldn’t assume that just because they are quiet they will put up with bad behavior either. Quiet people watch and listen and when they have all the information they need, they act. So watch out that you don’t upset the quiet one – you could be in for a shock.

This hilarious quote from Amy Efaw sums it up:

“Don’t judge me because I’m quiet. No one plans a murder out loud.”

So here are six reasons you should never underestimate the power of a quiet person.

1. The quietest folk listen a lot and may know more than other people suspect.

The reason quiet people are quiet is that they are listening. Unfortunately, some louder people spend so much time talking they have little time for listening or thinking. Quiet people don’t make this mistake. They listen carefully and think deeply so you can be sure that when they finally do speak, they have something amazing to say.

Louder people should never assume that a quiet person has less knowledge or intelligence than them. If they do, they may well end up looking stupid.

2. Quiet people observe and pick up on more than others

It’s very hard to fool a quiet person. They listen and watch everything that goes on carefully. While louder types may amaze others with their eloquence and enthusiasm, the quiet one in the room will notice when those words have little depth and are full of bluster or badly thought through ideas.

They also pick up on much more than the words that are spoken. Quiet people focus on behavior and body language too. This means they easily spot inauthentic behaviors and outright lies and deceptions.

Be afraid of the quiet ones, they are the ones who actually think.

3. Quietness does not equate with weakness – so don’t mess with them

Quiet people will speak out against any wrongdoing or unfairness. They are quick to point out bad behavior. Quiet folk are often slow to defend themselves, but once they are pushed too far, they can react with astonishing power. They are also quick to support more vulnerable members of the group. Quiet people have high moral standards and a strong backbone so it’s best to keep on their good side.

4. Even the quietest of people have excellent social skills

Quiet people do not lack social skills. They just use a different set of skills to extroverts. In their own unobtrusive way, they develop close relationships built on trust and mutual respect. And when they are with those whose company they enjoy, they can be the life and soul of the party.

5. Quiet people can be just as determined and loyal as louder folk

Extroverts who think quiet people have little to offer should beware. While others are networking and proclaiming their ideas, quiet people are creating bonds of trust with others. They are also determinedly working on brilliant ideas of their own that, when revealed, will stun everyone else into silence.

6. Quiet people will not tolerate being treated badly

Even the nicest people have their limits

Some extroverts assume that they can easily take advantage of quiet people. This isn’t true. Quiet people have a well-developed sense of their own value. If anyone tries to fob them off with the boring and less prestigious jobs they will rebel. It isn’t wise to do this anyway as quiet people’s insights can be extremely useful to the group or team.

To sum up, always pay attention to the quiet ones. Though their mouths are often closed, their minds are wide open.

Quiet people have the loudest minds.

What other benefits are there to being the quiet one? Please share your thoughts with us in the comments section.


  1. Psychology Today
  2. Wikipedia

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About the Author:

Kirstie works as a writer, blogger and storyteller and lives in London with her family of people, dogs and cats. She is a lover of reading, writing, being in nature, fairy lights, candles, firesides and afternoon tea. Kirstie has trouble sitting still which is why she created www.notmeditating.com to share techniques and practices for tuning out the busy mind. She is also the author of Not Meditating: Finding Peace, Love and Happiness Without Sitting Still.


  1. Ann Mary Tudu September 5, 2017 at 7:01 pm - Reply

    It’s 💯% true

  2. Deanne Quarrie September 6, 2017 at 12:50 am - Reply

    One of the reasons your often don’t hear from the quiet one is that they have a hard time getting into the conversation – Extroverts interrupt all the time but an introvert can’t find an open space in which to inject a comment.

  3. Donte VanDyke November 23, 2017 at 3:26 am - Reply

    I am one of those “quiet types” & I can definitely vouch for this.. I used to be a outgoing & loud person, but my past experiences with society made me quiet & not really talk. There’s more to life than being loud & obnoxious ya know? Sometimes you learn a lot by just listening & observing! I’m a observant type of guy, I observe a person for at least a few weeks before I talk to them, that’s just how I am.. but I never judge anyone, as my life isn’t perfect but seriously you never underestimate me, I know more than you think, I know everything about a person before I even speak! I can tell what kind of person you are just by looking & observing! & Never think because I’m quiet that I’m “weak” I have more mind power to destroy your life then anyone could imagine.. I’m not weird, I’m just quiet. I have a lot of strength for being a “quiet guy” I hear people talk but I never say anything. So please, never underestimate the quiet ones. Thank you for letting me comment:)

  4. FOUR May 31, 2018 at 8:31 pm - Reply

    I would really like to have a toast with the author right now. My insides are having a party after reading this. THESE WORDS ARE EXACT. ✨

  5. Linda November 24, 2018 at 2:26 am - Reply

    This is absolutely true!

  6. Svend January 1, 2019 at 6:21 am - Reply

    Quiet people are people without the noise. As such they have more time and space for the essential things in life which translates to certain advantages over the majority of crowd-joining extroverts. Your excellent article describes some of these advantages very aptly. Thank you.

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