Narcissistic mothers hate it when you call them out on their behavior. But what else do these toxic individuals despise?
So, what are the things that narcissistic mothers hate? The truth is, my father was the narcissist in our family. It was bad enough dealing with his personality and characteristics. However, during my lifetime, I’ve met a few narcissistic mothers and witnessed the things they hate the most.
Noticing the things that narcissistic mothers hate
In dysfunctional families, toxicity often appears in the behavior of the adults. Narcissistic mothers, unlike fathers, are harder to tolerate because they tend to be closer to their children while raising them. These parents have a significant influence on their children, but not positively.
Was your mother a narcissist? Check out these examples of narcissistic peeves to find out.
1. Your independence
The narcissistic mother hates your independence. When you think for yourself, it is a threat to this individual. Why? Because the more self-sufficient you become, the less you need them for support and help. And the narcissist feeds off being needed. Without being required by someone else, this person feels empty.
It’s the basics of attention seeking, but hidden in the guise of being a kind person.
2. Someone else gets attention
This goes back to the simple foundation of the narcissist, the thirst for constant attention. Honestly, if the narcissist isn’t asleep, they require attention. It is like food, water, and air.
The narcissistic mother absolutely hates it when she doesn’t get the spotlight. If she isn’t getting the attention she feels she deserves, she says things like: “I gave birth to you, so you should respect me.” And you probably do respect her. You just have other things to do in life other than cling to her.
3. Her own daughter
If you thought a mother could never be jealous of her own child, then think again. She is especially jealous of her daughters because she sees them as competition.
A narcissistic mother hates it when her daughter grows up to be a beautiful woman who gets attention. She hates her daughter’s body and face most of all because of her child’s youth. It is not normal to have hateful feelings toward your daughter. Remember that if you are a girl who doesn’t understand the disdain of her mother. This could be why.
4. Your disagreements
A narcissistic mother hates it when you have a different opinion on any given subject. This is because she doesn’t really see you as an individual. She sees you as an extension of herself. She expects you to love what she loves and hate what she hates. It’s that simple.
It’s probably not a good idea to try to change her either. Most narcissistic mothers are stuck in a cycle of thinking they will always be smarter and make better decisions than their own children.
5. When her children grow up
I have to watch this one myself, as I am very close to my children and feel sad when they move away. When I catch myself relating too much to this point, I work on it. But narcissistic mothers hate when their children move away. They’ve developed an unhealthy attachment to their children and often cling too tightly to them.
Even spouses do not produce the same unconditional love attachment. Loving your children is one thing; not allowing them to grow up and find their own happiness, independent of you, is another.
6. When you know something that she doesn’t
It’s irritating, even infuriating, when you know something that your narcissistic mother does not know. She thinks she is omniscient, knowing all and seeing all.
It’s especially unbearable when you will not tell her what you know, as when someone asks you to keep a secret. Instead of turning away to do something else, she pushes and pleads to get the information, becoming enraged when you refuse to tell her.
7. Being exposed
Nothing makes a narcissist angrier than being exposed for who they truly are. This proves true for the narcissistic mother as well. The narcissistic mother hates when you tell her that she is a narcissist and will often turn this around on you.
These mothers, in their eyes, are perfect, or at least they want you to think that. Some of them even know how empty they are, yet wear a mask of fulfillment and perfection. Being exposed can devastate, even destroy, a narcissist. So, yeah, this makes them incredibly angry.
Do you have a narcissistic mother?
There are many mothers like this. Unfortunately, the things you used to think were just normal for your parent may actually be dysfunctional, and potentially dangerous. It’s important to understand what a narcissist hates: to see the truth.
Their emotions will reveal who they are to you. Then you can decide what to do. Should you tolerate them? Should you distance yourself? Will you write them out of your life?
In this case, I cannot give you the answer. This is a sensitive area, and you must decide on your own. What I will say is this: take care of yourself, and do what it takes to make sure you are mentally, emotionally, and physically safe.
Be blessed, and be productive. Loves!
