What is the best way to deal with a narcissistic person? Well, to understand how to deal with them, you must also understand the things narcissists hate the most.
Those with NPD are some of the most difficult people to be around. And the movies make it seem like their traits and qualities are exaggerated. However, psychologists will tell you that these actions and words used by the narcissist are very real. And the things narcissists hate may surprise you as well.
Examining things narcissists hate
The narcissistic personality disorder is complex. It’s difficult to figure out how it works. And this is important too. As well as understanding how to defend yourself, you’ll also need to have a basic idea of what the narcissist hates the most. Because the things this toxic personality hates are the things that reveal their true nature.
Let me break it down for you.
1. Boundaries
Having boundaries means setting a line and communicating about where and when this line is set. The narcissist will violate or ignore your boundaries.
However, a person working on strengthening themselves will reassert those boundaries and the narcissist will despise them for it. If you set limits, the narcissist may call you controlling or something of that nature.
2. Your Independence
When you accept yourself and attempt to become more independent, the narcissist will immediately feel rejected. And you may think that arguing for your independence is smart, but you’re wrong.
The narcissist wants to get into an argument in hopes they can regain control and make you more dependent on them once more. They hate it when you gain independence and feel worthy.
3. Accountability
The word “accountability” is just not in the narcissist’s vocabulary. They rarely take responsibility for anything negative that’s occurred, even a simple mistake. It’s remarkable how much the narcissist lies to avoid accountability.
It’s sometimes hard to believe they are this stubborn and careless about the things they do. They will shift blame almost immediately. And at any given opportunity, if they notice someone else made a mistake, they’ll be quick to reveal that fact to make themselves look better.
4. Being challenged
When a narcissist feels challenged by logical reasoning, they immediately feel ashamed and inadequate. This just doesn’t work for the narcissist, and they will try to hide their feelings of inadequacy and shame.
When this happens, the narcissist may rage or refuse to communicate at all as a response to the confrontation. They deny everything unless it puts them in a good light. Do not expect the narcissist to admit to being a narcissist. This just rarely ever happens.
5. The word, “No”
Narcissists think they can do no wrong. They also expect everyone around them to say “Yes” to everything. But when you start practicing your right to say “no” to them, you’ll notice a marked change in their personality. They will no longer be kind and caring. Instead, they will say things like,
“You never want to do anything with me” or “You just like to disagree with me”.
Saying no is truly one of the things narcissists hate and always will.
6. The happiness of others
One of the things narcissists hate the most is the happiness of those around them. They are jealous of the successes and abilities of other people. And even more than that, the narcissist feels threatened by individuals who show confidence and strength.
A narcissistic person may have a visceral reaction when someone else gets recognition. Most of the time, this toxic person will react in a passive-aggressive way. At other times, you might notice bitterness, silent treatment, and other little cues when the narcissist witnesses the happiness of others.
7. Inability to manipulate
If you’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist and you’re just learning about how toxic they are, they probably already have a manipulative hold on you. I am sorry to tell you this. And if you start putting a stop to their manipulation, you may notice a sudden change in their demeanor, even notice bouts of rage due to their losing control over you.
But keep this up. Breaking these bonds of manipulation will help reveal the true nature of the narcissist. The more you reveal, the angrier they’ll become. Just be careful and pay attention to any signs that point toward possible violence from the narcissist.
8. Being ignored
If all eyes aren’t on the narcissist, then they cannot function normally, or what they consider normal, that is. And if you aren’t giving them the attention they need, they will find it elsewhere. They will do or say anything to regain the spotlight, too.
They will act out and say the most ridiculous things to make you mad, as this is also attention, be it negative attention. The narcissist doesn’t feel like a whole being unless they are the center of attention in some way or form.
Discovering the narcissist’s blueprint
When you discover the blueprint of the narcissist, their world begins to fall apart. As you notice all the pieces of this intricate puzzle of toxicity, it moves into place perfectly. Everything will start to make sense and unfortunately, life with this person will become bleak.
The narcissist is always planning ways of manipulating you into believing them and remaining blinded, shielded from their true behavior. However, when you discover the truth, you’ll not be able to unsee these things.
Yes, your fantasy life will come to an end. And now that you know about some things narcissists hate, you’ll be able to quickly notice their reactions to these triggers. When they start to show their true colors, be strong. The idea is to grow more resilient to their schemes and potentially get away from them altogether.
I believe in you and I know you can take back your life from the narcissist. Good luck and good vibes on your journey.