There are four basic external factors that will never make you happy if you stay attached to them. They can only give you a fake sense of happiness.
Another evening after work you find yourself thinking about the next big or small thing to make you happy. In our everyday life of paying for consumption and possessions with money and then paying for the money with our fleeting time, we often hope to find happiness over the next hill. It either hides in nostalgia or in the success of a future conquest. But as soon as we embrace the next challenge or try to get to the places of past glory, we find that our emptiness has followed us there. Happiness is always imagined. If we stay attached to external factors, it will always be a never ending chase.
Here are four basic things that will never make you happy.
The most essential and desired problem-solving juice of human life. Only a hypocrite can disregard the importance of this resource. However, if you think money has to do with the positive state of mind, you are wrong. Imagine winning a lottery. What would you feel? You’d think it would make you happy but there is a whole bag of insecurities and anxieties at your throat. You’d feel protective of it, angry at your friends/relatives asking for some because you have a lot now, uneasy about what you would like to buy for it and more.
2. People’s Opinions
Being social creatures, we all interact with each other and expect to give and get value from each other. The way our society works though is that we tend to psychologically feel angry at people who look/act differently even if they are not doing anything inherently wrong to us. On the other hand, we restrict ourselves from being and acting authentically so that we could fall in line with all the rest. There is a certain comfort in being a part of a group, but you give your personal power away. Instead, you should learn to feel as an integral part of the world without any allegiances.
3. Perfect Body
We all admire the looks because they are aesthetically pleasing to us. We attribute beautiful personal qualities to them in the opposite sex while our better-looking peers either feel superior or contemptible. The looks are not usually an achievement but rather a random chance that has nothing to do with who we are. By far the most prominent and compelling people are not usually perfect. And yet we can’t imagine them in any other way and we adore them. What makes them happy is the inner confidence. Basically, whatever you’re wearing, any flaw – wear it with pride.
4. Ideal Partner
“If only that previous crush was mine. I’d be so much happier.” Another thought at the end of the day. First of all, being reliant on your partner makes you dependent. Love is not going to resolve your insecurities. It’s going to put them to the test. You imagine your perfect self with your idealized charming boyfriend/girlfriend. But, what you should imagine is clinging to your half feeling challenged, at risk and vulnerable to other competitors. Love is a bonus for a complete person rather than the core, contrary to popular belief. You should realize that another person won’t make you happy unless you learn to achieve happiness within yourself. Besides, a happy person is a charming person.
To conclude with, by chasing external factors, be it clothes, titles, possessions or future achievements we invest into a fake sense of happiness. It is fragile. The only thing that can make us happy is at our heart and it is in the now.
It would be the worst idea to drop the everyday work towards your achievements for the sake of temporary happiness but you should love what you do and do what you love. For example, if you feel that your job doesn’t satisfy you or that higher education is not your thing, you should start thinking of what you’d like to do. But you don’t have to drop out. Burning all the bridges isn’t the answer. You can follow your dreams while doing the job to sustain you. With university, it’s a bad option to drop it halfway through too. You can still combine your personal growth in the wanted direction and study. There are tons of options to readjust gradually. The most important is to know what you truly want.
In a nutshell, learn to enjoy the moment and see its beauty. This way every new capstone success will feel genuinely pleasant because so is every moment.