Although many people think psychopaths are serial killers and mass murderers, it’s actually a term used for a personality type who fulfil basic non-violent criteria.

Psychopaths are all around us, including our politicians, local business men & women and that person you sat next to on the bus this morning. Anybody can be a psychopath. But that doesn’t mean they’re going to go and commit serious crimes any time soon.

In fact, only 20-25% of prisoners are psychopaths. This means that the term really doesn’t have anything to do with having a violent or criminal nature.

So what actually makes somebody a psychopath? Well, traits such as being very charismatic and charming, having little to no empathy and a grandiose sense of self-worth are clues that somebody is a psychopath. But generally, they can be quite difficult to spot.

The best way to explain a psychopath is to say that they are master manipulators who can modify their own personalities and behaviours in order to become exactly the person you want them to be.

Here are some things psychopaths commonly say to manipulate you into thinking you’re going crazy:

1. “You read too much into everything.”

If you have certain suspicions and somebody tells you that you are reading too much into it, they may be right. However, if you’re right about a psychopath and they’re telling you that you are over-analysing something, more often than not, they’re manipulating you into thinking you’re the one in the wrong so that they can get away with whatever it is you’re suspecting them of.

For example, they may intentionally flirt with somebody in front of you. Then, when you react the way they knew you would, they tell you that you’re overreacting and reading too much into the situation. Whether they do it purposefully or not, psychopaths are often making you feel insecure about things, then blaming you for that anxiety.

2. “I hate drama, you’re always arguing”

Psychopaths are perpetually bored, so they create drama and problems within relationships just to stir things up a bit. Then, once you react to certain things they’ve caused, they accuse you of starting drama and/or always wanting to argue. Again, they may not be consciously doing this, but it’s a pattern of behaviour that will play on repeat throughout the relationship.

3. “You’re crazy”

A psychopath will often do things to stir up trouble, plant seeds of doubt in your mind and leave you feeling insecure about yourself and your relationship. Then they’ll call you crazy for reacting to it.

A prime example is they will plant seeds of doubt that they are texting other people. So when you happen to glance at their texts to reassure yourself, they notice and call you out on it. They will claim that you are crazy and/or controlling. Pay close attention to the way they speak about their exes in this scenario, as it can give you a big hint to the way they behave.

Psychopaths are master manipulators and without consciously meaning to, they can create endless problems in your life. If you have somebody who is currently making you feel any of the above, it may well be time to assess your relationship. Let me know in the comments if you can identify with any of these points or if you have any of your own to add.



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This Post Has 25 Comments

  1. Jack Hockaday


    I have been very interested in your article that you wrote and it’s been very helpful. Thanks


  2. Mitzi Dixon

    My boyfriend will purposely set up text messages between him an another female of sexual content for me to find. In other words set me up to get hurt for going thru his phone and treat me like I’m crazy when I don’t trust him.

    1. Anton Frost

      Find your self esteem and leave him. He doesn’t respect you.

    2. Karen Weigle

      He likely has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Save yourself now.

  3. DL

    My wife to the exact

  4. Neha

    I think all of the above defines me. What should I do?

  5. Joe N0b0dy

    you missed some: “you are imagining things” / “are you sure or did you just dream that” / “no, that’s not what happened, your remembering it wrong”, these are often accompanied with “again!” or “like always!” or “like you did with xx that time!”

  6. Iftikhar Qayum

    Thanks. Very illuminating. Come to think of it, I can now identify a few people in my life who would fit that category..!

  7. Bhim

    Is always blaming others a symptom of Psychopath? I see many blaming others even they don’t know the truth and only creating imaginary stories inside their head. It feels like characteristics to be detective!
    Can it be cured?

  8. Karen Weigle

    Many of you are describing Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Only God Himself can heal these people. I barely survived.

  9. Lexa

    I have a problem,my boyfriend and me often arguing,and I am the one he blames to be the cause of those arguments 99%.And how it starts,he will begin conversation,then will offend me 2-3 times and I react get upset and may cry.And I left with quilt felling that’s all because of me.

  10. Lexa

    And I caught myself on actually feeling lost ,thinking am crazy one and afraid to show my personality not to cause anything,like put myself in the box,but even then he finds a reason.

  11. I was married to a narcissistic psychopath it does your head in, all the lies and emotional abuse. If you have children with them it’s even worse they control and alienate you from your own children. If they have the money they have the power over you.

  12. Finnish woman

    I dated one this summer. Everything started with exciting dates with wine in restaurants. He seemed to be sociable at 1st. Constant messaging and come here and there and let’s go to America together. Blah blah. Then I noticed flirting with another women and texts in his phone. Suddenly at the end of this summer everything stopped to a brickwall after I visited his place in another town. I noticed he lied his age for example. Just like the pattern goes with psychopaths. He is succeeding and owning a plastic surgery company. Sadly’s again and again new victims. Younger women. Children he has done with different intention being together with the moms.

  13. another victim

    I filed for a divorce after 13 years of this exact treatment from my husband whom I found out had been cheating with his ex wife dinner dates and riding in his semi with him all the while trying to rape me every time he came home like he was punishing me. Do believe after all the lines and torture he has played on me when he would come off the road that he has progressed to a serial rapist. The thing I didn’t see here but have become aware of is how maliciously they PLAN out their horrifically terrifying cruel retaliations for you if you disagree, call them out on their lies and excuses, prove your suspicions of their cheating with, most of the time,several victims even to the point of threatening to kill those who informed you of their actions. I am terrified every day, for real, yet he is the one playing the game that he is, reversing all the traits of himself over to me and very good at convincing others I am the psycho, crazy one. I could truly write a book of the many types of abuse I have been through in this time always scared to tell anyone as he is sooo good has had me thrown in jail twice because “the stories were so far apart” is what the officer told me. They inflict injuries on themselves to make sure if you call the police that you go to jail too. Their minds never take a break from plotting their next game to hurt you or anyone near to you. They know exactly what you are going to say cause you don’t lie like they do, so they can easily fabricate a story the opposite cause this is what they are masters at. I have months to go til divorce supposedly will be final, I say supposedly because I do not believe this nightmare will ever end and if it does I might not exist anymore.

  14. another victim

    forgot to say I called the cops for sexual assault, sometimes even ductaped my mouth shut so I couldn’t scream, trying to choke me so I would pass out so he could rape me when unconcioius only to unbeleivably be charged with domestic abuse.

  15. Kani

    I just got out of a relationship with a psychopath most likely narcissistic personality disorder as well. He would love to tear me down just to be the one to bring me back up. The verbal abuse the put downs were on a daily basis. If i didn’t give in to his control he would turn physically violent with me. If I ever wanted to go out it was the biggest issue and I just would end up not going to avoid problems. I lived my life that way for three years curled up in a ball to scared to leave to scared to do anything but i finally made the decision that it was time to put myself first and my mental health is the most important thing. I can happily say that I left and I will never ever be going back to that.

  16. NA

    I am married to a pyschopath/sociopath. But I am now filing for divorce from him. He agreed to join me in Dominican Rep (I am in the UK) and he was meant to fly from the USA (where he is), and he never turned up. He stood me up and never called, texted, emailed nada. Till now, I have not heard from him-nearly 2mths. Last time I spoke to his manager (approx 2wks ago), he told me he too had not heard anything from him, and that he had not been to work for over a month. Also, as he is a truck driver, his boss also told me my husband had a co-driver (team), which he never told me about. He would always come up with some story that made no sense in order to steer me away from his true motives. He told me last year that he went to Houston (a month after the hurricane hit) that he went to help people, by handing out food and water. I asked him whereabouts in Houston he was, he told me Houston. He wouldn’t give me any details, which made me suspicious. The fact that he wouldn’t tell me WHERE in Houston he was, made me think it wasn’t true. Also, I had found photo evidence to prove that the water had subsided literally a month later! Some parts had little flooding, but most of the city was back to normal, so tell me what do you think?
    I am a sensitive person, and he kept doing disappearing acts and then telling me he needs him time, bearing in mind I am in the UK and he is in the USA at our apartment that we share (well we were going through a visa process-which I doubt is happening now). He is a liar and a master manipulator and always feigns empathy. He told his boss he was going to Houston to help his friends due to the hurricane (Oct 18) but he knew (as he had bought his ticket) to be with me in D.R.

    I am still upset and feel stupid for falling for his lies once again – this time is worse coz we got married 🙁 Now, I cannot even travel to the USA due to him and the US embassy, and I am never going back to him.

    We have known each other for 8years, but he broke up with me in 2012 by email for no reason and also no explanation just series of excuses. And then when he came back into my life, I was with someone else, and that was going south, so I left and then went to see my now husband. He told me he missed me and wanted me back, the guy couldn’t even remember how he broke up with me neither could he (so he says) remember why.

    He acts like he cares, and loves but he loves no-one but himself. He is a selfish person, and knows exactly what he is doing. He thinks he can’t be found, but his lies will catch up to him. And I hope they do, because he is liar and deserves nothing and no-one.
    He never even told his dad that we were married! And it’s been 2yrs! He has a lot to hide, and I can’t wait to get away from him.

  17. Bill Montgomery

    After reading all this pretty much sums up how my oldest brother acts. He simply cannot talk in a discussion without it ending in an argument where he is right and you are wrong and you like to argue. I had to get a computer with internet to get information to have him stop arguing. Well now it personal things which you cant check on the computer and makes it even more hurtful and hateful. he is just like a kindergarten kid start something then no you did it. He disputes practically everything you say. He gets so angry,my wife who was a nurse thought he was having a stroke but I told her probably just one of his fits of rage, ended up he was angry because he thought someone damaged his property which was not the truth. Thank god he doesnt visit very often because I become sick just seeing him because right away he gets into politics to try to argue.

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