There are some truths about life that seem evident at first, but when you deeply realize their meaning, they can make you want to change your whole life.
For a long time, the first thing I used to do in the morning was diving into the sea of awkwardness and uncertainty.
The first thoughts I had on my mind were what to wear and what lunch to make to be approved by my coworkers. I liked that funny pink dress with little hearts on it but put the checkered shirt my manager would like. I cooked liver (which I liked a lot) for lunch but tried to eat it when nobody was looking, so nobody saw what I was eating.
I made my choices depending on the others’ opinions. Moreover, I made different decisions, preparing to meet different people.
Why did I do this? To please someone? To get compliments? Maybe.
But the main reason was the fear of being unappreciated. This feeling was haunting me, so I stopped doing what I liked and just tried to guess what others liked. It was exhausting but kept engulfing me stronger. Until one day.
The day I understood I didn’t live my life, I imitated the others’ ones. And this was not what I had dreamed about. Certainly, I didn’t start acting according to my real preferences at once.
But the next morning my usual first thought got a competitor. It was a tiny but brave soldier that had pitched his tent in my life feeling area, asking me “How about that hippie T-shirt, you bought last weekend?” And that was when the magic began. That was when I started to learn the truths about life and discover my world anew.
Something we all need
When I put my favorite clothes on and ate my lunch in front of anyone who entered the kitchen in the office, forcing myself not to feel awkward and odd, I realized that others were just as non-confident as me. When you let yourself act free and unhesitatingly, people switch to incertitude. Moreover, they are hostages of public opinion too. They need approval, support and acceptance. We all do.
When I started to say what I really thought, I discovered that others had the same thoughts. But they were full of doubts. Exactly like me. They needed to be heard. We all do.
When I started to tell how I was spending time at the weekend, about my hobbies, I realized others had similar passions. I understood I was not the tritest person. My life was not as boring as I used to think. In fact, it was pretty multifarious. And I had what to share. We all do.
There is always a detour
We have much more in common than we think. Fears. Thoughts. Values. Passions. Needs.
To start noticing it, you need to stop being ashamed of yourself. To stop being ashamed of yourself, you need to start noticing it. Vicious circle. But it can be disrupted easily.
- Instead of hiding yourself, accept yourself.
- Instead of judging others, open your mind.
- Instead of hiding, make connections.
- Instead of playing a role, be yourself.
It seems these are so simple and evident truths about life. And we say “Definitely!”, “It is obvious”, “Sure” but keep everything as it was.
So, I am going to proclaim them again and again, hoping someday one more person will feel strong enough to start practicing them.
And day after day, one more person will join this movement. The movement to a life full of fabulous moments, smiled faces and open hearts. A life without a place for regrets and fears, but with a place for happy mornings and healthy thoughts.
You need to take just one step to realize the truth — we shouldn’t be afraid of each other, we need each other. I am glad I’ve taken it. Join me. It will be glorious. I promise.
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