Twisting facts is a facet of psychological manipulation. It’s used by toxic individuals to always come out on top, and never take responsibility for negative behaviors.
Have you ever talked about an old conversation with someone? You know, it’s when you look back at facts that were brought up during past communication. Well, it’s quite normal to think about past conversations. It can sometimes be funny. But when someone twists facts, it’s insidious.
Signs that someone you know is twisting facts
While this might seem like an odd topic, it’s an important one. I’m going to examine the act of twisting facts because it’s happened to me. Honestly, it was surprising, and I didn’t know what to do when it happened.
One moment, I’m talking about a little mistake a friend made, which was just a topic in passing, and the next moment that friend is saying the event never happened. But more than that, the same friend twisted facts to make it look like I made the past mistake.
Have you ever been in this situation? Here are some signs that your friends and family may have twisted more than a few mistakes.
1. Using their own facts and statistics
If you have an issue with insecurity, someone who twists facts can easily get to you. One way you will know them is by their constant talk about statistics and ‘facts. They are the ones who act intelligent and make you feel kind of dull.
If you talk about something, they already have all the statistics surrounding that topic, and they cannot be wrong…because, after all, these are statistics.
Surprisingly, you can twist statistics by using only certain groups of people or objects, whatever you’re discussing. Don’t let their 100% knowledge put you off doing your own research. Know them by their stripes, and then avoid them.
2. They place roadblocks
You’ll know that someone is twisting facts when they keep telling you that you’re incapable of doing something you want to do. They will use your weaknesses, or more so, the things they dislike about you to bring insecurity.
Again, there it is, insecurity. If they see it, it fuels them. If you’re talking to a friend about buying a home and you have a low income, they’ll twist facts to make you think you’ll never be able to buy a home. They will say things like,
“Your income isn’t high enough according to the real estate market’s average-priced homes. The bank will never give you a loan with your income.”
While it is true that buying a home isn’t always easy, there are ways around these things. Toxic people will use roadblocks to twist facts. Sometimes you may never know their reasons. Again, do your own research on this topic.
3. Act like chameleons
Have you ever watched a person sell things? I have. Well, I hate to break the news, but the best salesmen are liars. They can custom create a new ‘them’ for whoever they need to impress. If you’re wondering what type of person twists the truth, here they are.
In fact, they downright murder the truth in favor of whatever they need to accomplish. But if the unadulterated truth helps them, they’ll use that too. But often, they’re wringing and twisting the truth so much that if it held water, it would be dry.
Watch for salesmen, Ahem…I mean those who act like chameleons.
4. They’re great listeners
Here’s a tough one for you. When it comes to people who twist the truth, you must be able to tell true listeners and narcissists apart. A narcissist will sit and listen to many stories you tell about yourself.
But they’re not listening to know or help you. They’re listening to get information as ammo against you later. Later, they will twist this information and hurt you with lies. A true listener hears you because they’re a true friend. So, the task is, how do you tell the difference?
Well, a narcissist tends to listen the most at the beginning of a relationship. As the relationship grows, they listen less simply because they’re bored of it, and they have enough information to twist it all up.
A true listener will always be there for you, able to listen to your problems no matter how long it’s been. So, be wary, the narcissist twists the truth like it’s a full-time job. Stop telling them so much.
5. The blame game
Unfortunately, by the time you see that the truth is being twisted in the blame game, it will have already damaged you. Here’s how it goes, put your seatbelt on:
Let’s say you have a boyfriend that seems nice enough. You tell him your boundaries, your tolerances, and your standards, but eventually, he starts walking on them. You get angry, stand up for what you believe, but he ignores or becomes deceptive, doing the things you asked him not to do anyway.
So, you no longer feel like speaking to him for a while because of his lack of respect. You spend some time alone just to clear your head. While you’re alone, he cheats. When everything comes out in the open, he blames you for driving him to this heinous action.
Need I say more? People like this are everywhere, twisting facts and destroying lives. When you see that red flag in the blame game, run for your life.
6. Things don’t add up
If something seems out of place in your conversation with another, it could be that they’re twisting the facts a bit. This is true with people you know to be liars. You know that more than likely, they will twist the truth to their advantage. They will also have a different story to tell every time you ask them about a situation.
In fact, this twisting of the truth will reveal pathological liars or criminals. If the information doesn’t make sense, it’s probably missing some pieces or just isn’t true. Either way, it’s twisted. I suggest getting your information elsewhere in the future.
7. Their past is different than yours
Remember when I talked about reminiscing about past conversations and stumbling upon mistakes and little mishaps? Yeah, this is where people will also twist the truth.
If two sisters have a huge grudge against each other, they will have different ideas about what happened in the past. It could be that one of them is twisting the truth, but in many instances, both have twisted different aspects of whatever happened.
When both parties twist facts, grudges can sometimes follow them to the grave. Sometimes, in these circumstances, the liar may never tell the truth about the past.
So, if you know what really happened, just let it go. Be the bigger person and apologize, but that doesn’t mean you can’t put a little distance between you two. Try only making phone calls and sending letters if you fight with your family like this.
Maybe you can enjoy a family reunion or two. Just don’t suddenly become too close because twisted facts could play a part once again in a future disagreement.
Let the facts be facts
Pay attention to these little red flags, indicators, signs, and obviously twisted versions of the truth. As you get older, you will learn more ways that twisted facts are used. Unfortunately, all they do is cause division.
While you can help some people stop twisting facts, you cannot help everybody. For human beings to change, they must want that change themselves, not just for others. So, don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t see the wrong in themselves.
On a more positive note, with every person who sees the truth in their behavior, and makes improvements, the world becomes a better place. Truth is always important, between partners, friends, and loved ones.
So always strive to be as honest as you can. Remember, facts are here to make us more intelligent and kinder individuals, not human monsters. Use facts wisely.
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