What type of women do men want today? Is the society killing the image that men have about women or giving them a greater choice?
It seems like the ultimate question when it comes to dating is ‘what do men actually want in a woman?’ An initial Google search and the first site tells me that I should “dress well,” but I should also “show some skin”, “be happy” and “ask for help.” Seriously?
My little survey
It’s 2016, there are women in some of the most powerful positions across the world, but I still have to act helpless in order to get a man to like me. I decided that I wasn’t okay with this, and I asked some of my close male friends and family what they liked in a woman, to see if what the Internet was telling me was true.
Many told me that, contrary to the Internet’s mislead interpretation, men actually enjoy being with the type of women who are intelligent and independent, i.e. women who don’t need to ask for their help. This type of women knows how to hold a conversation and have interesting things to say, they don’t need to play on weakness in order to be seen as attractive.
A lot of the men I spoke also said that a woman doesn’t need to be typically beautiful, as each man has his own interpretation of what he finds attractive, and you can’t simply play into every man’s version of ‘beautiful’.
Whilst many said that they appreciate a woman who takes care of herself and keeps herself healthy, others said that it wasn’t that important. Some preferred modesty over a bit of skin, others said they preferred a woman who knows what looks good on her, including a pop of colour in her makeup or dress sense.
In reality, it looks like there is really no Ideal Woman to aspire to because men, like women, have their own types. Shocking, I know.
Women in modern society
Today, women are some of our greatest politicians, they’re the CEOs of our biggest companies, and they’re the directors of some of the most successful foundations.
As we continue to grow as a workforce, we also realise how little we are represented in so many countries and industries. In Japan, as soon as a woman starts having children, she leaves the workforce and doesn’t return. In India, the female workforce has continued to fall by 10% in the past 10 years. The feminist movement is more important now than ever so that we are seen as equal in all areas; and if that makes us less attractive to one particular man, then maybe we’re looking at the wrong type of man.
At the same time, the modern culture that we live in today seems to put such a high priority on the physical image. There are pictures plastered across social media of both men and women with less than 5% body fat and chiselled jawlines, so much so that we are constantly putting higher expectations on what we want in other people. We are so set on reaching these exceptionally high expectations that we have normalised the narcissism that comes alongside the hours spent perfecting every aspect of our looks. We no longer focus on the personality of a person, their thoughts, and their interests. Instead, we judge a person solely on how long we think it took them to get ready, and it’s doing nothing for our relationships. How can you expect a personality from someone who simply stares at him or herself all morning?
So in answer to the initial question of whether society is killing the type of women that men want, I have to say that society is doing both. Modern society is finally opening up and electing women into positions of power. We are able to earn the highest titles in every industry and our voices are heard in a way that they haven’t been before. Yet, younger generations are focussing so profusely on how they look that there is a much weaker focus on intellect that there is nothing but unrealistic models and actors to base our expectations on.
Society isn’t killing the type of women that men like, in some ways, it’s allowing us to be ourselves and give men a greater choice of a woman. However, at the same time, it is teaching our students that our sole focus should look that we simply can’t reach. Instead of killing the women that these men will like, it is creating an unrealistic image that we can never accomplish.
What are your thoughts on this? We’d love you to share them in the comments below.