I’ve been around narcissists all my life, and I thought nothing could surprise me. But I am steadily being shocked by the weird things narcissists do.

As always, I like to clear up the fact that we all reside somewhere on the narcissistic spectrum. It’s just that the mentally healthy people seem to balance in the middle somewhere. But today, I speak of those who have narcissistic disorders and their odd behavior.

Just when you think you’ve seen it all, someone with this disorder will do or say something completely off-the-wall that makes no sense. They can totally control people who aren’t aware of what they’re doing too. Although this goes with an actual disorder, I’m just going to use the word ‘narcissist’ to keep it simple.

Top 10 Weird Things Narcissists Do to Control and Manipulate Their Victims

Yes, narcissists do things that make little to no sense. Sometimes they do this to distract you from the truth, and sometimes it’s to control you. I want to look at the weird things narcissistic people do that control us, just to focus on one set of characteristics.

1. Belittle their victims

One weird thing a narcissist can do that I noticed was when he treated his spouse well when alone but then acted like a brat to her around his male friends.

How did I witness this?

It was me, I was the wife who was belittled in front of my husband’s friends. Now, the reason the narcissist does this is that he is insecure about his manhood, and he feels he must belittle his significant other to show he is in control.

2. Love bombing

Most people have heard of this tactic, but it’s still weird. At the beginning of a relationship with a narcissist, you will experience this outrageous amount of attention. It’s like a feeling you’ve never had before.

Let’s say you’ve met a woman and only after a few weeks of dating, she says it seems like you two were meant to be together. Everything you do is perfect, and she even shares so much of her life and history with you. You feel you can trust her, and she seems so… loving. Yeah, narcissists start their game with love bombing. It’s strange, so beware.

3. Narcissists hate questions

Another one of the weird things narcissists do is deflect. This can be done in many ways, but especially when questions come up. Narcissistic personalities hate answering your questions, and it’s really a pet peeve if they know you’ve found out something negative about them.

It is incredibly hard sometimes for the narcissist to even say “yes” or “no”. Instead, they might answer with,

“Why are you asking me that?”,

“Do you not trust me?”,

“Why are you suddenly suspicious?”.

They answer your question with a question to throw you off.

4. Always the victim

A person who has a toxic personality like this will always play the victim. For instance, if you meet a guy, and the subject of ex-partners comes up, he will never admit his guilt in the past breakup. Everyone he’s ever loved will be the responsible party for all the problems. He will block you from contacting them too.

The reason – to keep you from discovering the truth, of course. When you find out what really happened, you may just run for the hills.

5. Silent treatments

The result of the silent treatment is so interesting. It’s controlling and it’s a game for the narcissist. The silent treatment is a form of abuse. It is used to bring someone else into submission, especially those who are highly empathic. People with soft hearts suffer most from this passive-aggressive action.

A person who uses this weapon will do so until they get what they want, or until a stronger personality gives the same treatment right back to them. It’s just one of the countless weird things narcissists do.

6. No genuine apologies

It hurts so bad when you realize someone you love will not apologize for hurting you. Maybe they will eventually throw out a “sorry”, but they do not mean it the way it’s supposed to be. When and if a narcissist apologizes, it’s only done to make you leave them alone.

Unfortunately, they don’t really care about how you feel. They are more concerned about their own feelings, even when they know they’ve done something wrong.

Here’s an extra weird twist to that: Sometimes, they will say things like, “I’m just worthless.” And then that sometimes has you apologizing to them!

7. Gaslighting

I cannot talk about weird actions without mentioning this yet again. Gaslighting is a term that’s been associated with making people feel like they are imagining things or going crazy.

For example, a woman may deny she said something to her boyfriend right after she said it. She will then go on to say something like,

“Babe, I think you’re imagining things. You might want to get some help with that.”

She might also hide your car keys, make you look frantically for hours, then put them right back where they belong so you can find them.

8. Blackmailing emotionally

When I speak of blackmail, one of the weird things that narcissists do, I don’t mean they hold you for a monetary ransom. A narcissist can sense when you are an empath or if you have even the slightest of insecurities. They use these weaknesses to keep you under their thumb.

For instance, tantrums or bouts of rage at random times can knock you off guard and intimidate you. Most of the time, if you have insecurities, you will bow to their will when this happens. Of course, they use other forms of emotional blackmail like talking bad about themselves to get compliments or offering you gifts if you do something you don’t want to do.

9. Holding grudges

Among the weirdest things narcissists do is hold a grudge for a long, long time. They do this really well. If you cross them, they can go days, weeks, months, and yes, years holding a grudge about one specific incident. They just don’t think it’s in their best interests to let things go and make peace. This only makes them more insecure, which is something they try desperately to hide.

10. Reactions are fuel

Narcissists love to get a negative reaction from you, so they use a handful of tactics to do so. If you forget something, they accuse you of purposely not doing something. If you didn’t hear them ask you for something, they act like you ignored them on purpose and then say,

“Nevermind, I will get it.”

On some rare occasions, they will tell absolutely ridiculous lies just to get a reaction. This anger you show only fuels them more, so they call you crazy. If you’re crazy, then they can be your help, your controller.

Control yourself and grow

All the weird things narcissists do and say cannot change who you are inside. The key is to be strong and remember your worth. You aren’t the empty shell that pretends by wearing a mask. You aren’t the one who works hard to be two or more people at the same time. You are free.

If you think you can help those who use toxic tactics in life, then I send good vibes. But honestly, until they see the truth of their strange behavior, things will never change. All we can do is hope for the best and be good people.

And be safe, always


  1. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
  2. https://www.webmd.com

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This Post Has 3 Comments

  1. Vandam

    Hi Cherrie, I am a long-time reader of these most excellent contributions, however, by reading this one; I started realizing that is how the current progressive left/liberals/mass media/tech/VIPs are broadly treating the average conservative voice in the entire West. Collectively, and on my scorecard, the ”left” scores high to very high on every one of the 10 Narcicist characteristics. And was Trump not always portrayed as a full-blown narcissist? Now, one could verbally retort that the ”right” also behaves in similar behaviors. I try to observe both sides as ”neutral” as possible, and I have a strong sense that the ”Right’s stances are not by far not so fanatical and abusive as their ideological counterparts. Perhaps you could make a kinda comparative article about this topic? Or is the scope of one page not sufficient to elaborate? Greetings from Spain

  2. Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

    You just reiterated what I was saying about the spectrum. Right and left are great examples of severe unhealthy points on the narcissistic spectrum. But the strange thing is, they borrow from each other. Not all the points on one edge match one specific group. While the far right may exhibit traits on one end of the spectrum, they may also exhibit traits from the opposite end of the spectrum.

    It’s like saying only one ethnicity of people is racist. This is not true. There are racist people of all ethnicities. In every ethnicity, you have people of all kinds. On the narcissistic spectrum, you have left and right sides of politics taking toxic attributes from overly arrogant to the opposite end which is debasing oneself. It’s just unhealthy all around in the U.S. nation right now. As close to the middle as we can get is where we need to be. A pinch of humble with a pinch of self-worth -that’s where we start.

  3. Julie

    Thank you Sherrie.

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