Have you ever had communication difficulties and problems in maintaining a conversation with other people, despite the fact that you consider yourself a pretty smart person?

If so, then most likely, this left you puzzled and you were surprised by your own social ineptness since you know so many interesting things.

The fact is that social skills and intelligence do not necessarily go hand in hand.

In fact, people with an average level of intelligence can often keep up small talk better than those who are much smarter than them.

Many smart people happen to be unsuccessful in maintaining interesting conversations and tend to have poor social skills. Let’s try to delve into the reasons why this happens.

Why Do So Many Smart People Have Communication Difficulties?

1. Smart people are often perfectionists

They are very demanding of themselves in everything that they do. When they believe that they have failed at something, they can beat themselves up for it.

If they think that they can not support a good conversation, they become even more anxious and withdrawn. This concern prevents them from being able to relax and enjoy the conversation.

2. They don’t have a good touch with the emotional side of life

Smart people spend most of their lives striving for intellectual advancement but forget to develop their social and emotional sides. They may think that the development of social and emotional skills is not very important or may simply feel that at a certain point, it is too late to begin to develop these sides of their personalities.

3. They like meaningful conversations

Smart people look for meaning in everything and believe that they should only devote time to the discussion of important things instead of wasting it on social chitchat. This leaves them quickly losing interest in the conversation if they notice that it lacks real substance.

4. Some intelligent people are snobs

In some cases, people with above-average intelligence feel superior to others and think that there is no sense to waste their time on people who can’t provide an interesting and stimulating topic for a conversation. Some intelligent individuals can be real snobs.

5. They can be shy and insecure

Many smart people are very shy or have low self-esteem, which makes them feel that other people don’t find them interesting enough. High intelligence and high self-esteem don’t always go hand in hand.

6. Asperger’s syndrome

Some exceptionally smart people, especially those who have a special talent in science and mathematics, may suffer from what is called Asperger’s syndrome. It is believed that this disorder is related to autism and can manifest itself in different ways. One of the consequences revolves around severe communication difficulties.

Quite often, people who suffer from Asperger’s syndrome can be very effective when they focus on scientific matters but are totally incapable of establishing social relationships – an ability that comes naturally to and is taken for granted by most people. Such individuals usually speak in a terse, “mechanical” way and show almost no interest in the emotional lives of others.

What to do if you are a smart person with communication difficulties?

Intelligence is just one aspect of humanity. No matter how smart a person is, a lack of social skills may adversely affect their life and career.

So what to do if you are one of those people who are pretty smart but have difficulty communicating with others?

First, you have to ask yourself if developing your communication skills is something that you really want or need.

If the answer is “no”, then there is no sense to try to improve them. In this case, you need to work on self-acceptance and learn to love and accept yourself just the way you are – regardless of your social ineptness.

If the answer is “yes”, then you need to put some effort into improving your social skills and developing your ability to enjoy small talk. Learning these skills will lead you to have better relationships with other people.

You will have to devote some time to practicing new skills and changing your attitudes towards yourself and others. Working on the social and emotional sides of your personality will allow you to become more successful in different areas of your life.

Anna LeMind, B.A.

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the power of misfits

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