Introversion is commonly confused with social anxiety. Since most people are not aware of the differences between the two, it\u2019s easy to mistake an extrovert with social anxiety for an introvert, and vice versa.<\/p>\n
In reality, though, introversion is a distinct character trait whereas social phobia is a mental disorder.<\/p>\n
So what if you are not an introvert but a socially anxious extrovert? Read through the signs below.<\/p>\n
Contrary to the popular misconception, introversion is not about a lack of social skills<\/a> \u2013 it is about the source of energy. The quiet ones gain energy from solitary, relaxing endeavors while extroverts receive it during communication and more intense activities.<\/p>\n That\u2019s why introverts don\u2019t find big social gatherings<\/a> rewarding. They rarely get enthusiastic about attending parties and loud events because they know they\u2019ll get exhausted quickly.<\/p>\n When you are an extrovert, you get excited about social activities even if they scare you. Yes, your social anxiety doesn\u2019t allow you to fully enjoy yourself, but you still get rewarded by being around people.<\/p>\n Thus, a clear sign that you are a socially anxious extrovert is that social events evoke mixed emotions in you<\/strong>, leaving you feeling both thrilled and terrified. No surprise that such an emotional cocktail brings your anxiety to an overwhelming level.<\/p>\n While introverts are not people-haters or hermits (contrary to another widespread myth), it\u2019s true that they prefer to keep their social circles small<\/strong>.<\/p>\n They see no point in wasting their energy on superficial social connections. The quiet ones seek to surround themselves with loyal and like-minded friends instead of hanging out with many different people.<\/p>\n Extroverts, in turn, enjoy the diversity of social connections<\/strong>, which brings them fulfillment. Thus, if you suffer from social anxiety as an extrovert, most likely, you still want to expand your social circle. At least, you dream about it.<\/p>\n The problem is that your uncomfortable experiences with social interaction make it extremely hard to meet new people<\/a> and make friends. As you can see, being an extrovert with social anxiety is a real struggle.<\/p>\n It\u2019s natural to want to be an accepted member of society and have a certain degree of respect and validation from those around you. But extroverts tend to have a greater need for social approval<\/a> because they find it more rewarding and important than their quiet counterparts.<\/p>\n Therefore, they are more likely to fall victims to the unhealthy fear of rejection<\/a>, which can lead to social phobia if paired with<\/a> childhood trauma or a history of abuse and neglect.<\/p>\n As an extrovert suffering from social anxiety, your mind gets overwhelmed with the images of a possible embarrassment<\/strong> every time you attend a party or a gathering.<\/p>\n You have a persistent fear that something will go wrong, you will make a mistake, and ridicule yourself in front of others. Maybe you will drop your glass or say something stupid. And everyone will think you are a weirdo and won\u2019t want to talk to you.<\/p>\n It\u2019s an established point of view<\/a> that social anxiety disorder stems from the irrational fear of being rejected, ridiculed, and judged<\/a>. And an extrovert affected by this mental issue fits this pattern to a T.<\/p>\n However, there is more to this mental disorder, and I have explored it in these articles about the neglected causes of social anxiety<\/a> and empathic sensitivity<\/a>, as well as in my book.<\/p>\n We all feel inadequate<\/a> from time to time. Introverts certainly do \u2013 social expectations often make us feel as if we are flawed and need to be fixed.<\/p>\n But in the case of extroverts with social anxiety, this feeling is more intense and pervasive. Since social affiliation is vital for this personality type, it\u2019s twice as difficult when they experience issues with communication.<\/p>\n You desperately want to be accepted in a group, make friends<\/a>, share your thoughts, and be funny, but your social anxiety doesn\u2019t allow you to. In your mind, you imagine how great it would be if you could just be yourself around other people.<\/p>\n Every extrovert with social anxiety secretly wants to cope with their insecurities and become the life and soul of the party<\/a>. And that\u2019s why they feel so painfully inadequate in social settings.<\/p>\n After all, it\u2019s not easy to just get rid of your fears and suddenly become outgoing and relaxed when your anxiety is crippling you. It certainly can\u2019t happen overnight.<\/p>\n For introverts, it doesn\u2019t work this way \u2013 they tend to be less interested in getting attention and popularity. They are perfectly comfortable just staying quiet and occasionally participating in conversations.<\/p>\n As we said, extroverts tend to care more about the impression they make on other people. That\u2019s why those of them who suffer from social anxiety will worry a lot about others\u2019 opinions.<\/p>\n During and after a social situation<\/a>, you overanalyze everything that seemed wrong: that guy\u2019s disapproving glance, your co-worker\u2019s question that sounded like there was some hidden meaning in it, and the words you said.<\/p>\n \u201cI shouldn\u2019t have said this. Now she\u2019ll think I\u2019m a total loser\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhy would she ask me about my mother? She must be thinking I\u2019m a mummy\u2019s boy\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Thoughts like these ones pop up in your head and you beat yourself up for behaving like a weirdo and saying the wrong things.<\/p>\n You feel like people don\u2019t like you<\/a> and will judge you no matter what you say or do. This feeling haunts every social anxiety sufferer but is particularly difficult for extroverts because they long for fondness and appreciation more than introverts do.<\/p>\n There is nothing worse for a social anxiety sufferer than getting everyone\u2019s attention<\/a> in any way \u2013 even a positive one. Giving a speech or performance in front of other people is a living nightmare for a person with social phobia.<\/p>\n2. You want to expand your social circle but find it difficult to meet new people<\/h3>\n
3. Your anxiety clearly stems from the fear of rejection<\/h3>\n
4. You have an intense feeling of inadequacy in social settings<\/h3>\n
5. You worry excessively about other people\u2019s opinions<\/h3>\n
6. You secretly crave attention but are terrified by it at the same time<\/h3>\n