7 Things Only People with Ambivert Personality Will Understand

Published by
Kirstie Pursey

If you believe that you have an ambivert personality, you will probably identify with the traits on this list.

There is plenty of information available detailing the good and the bad sides of being either an introvert or an extrovert. But what if you don’t identify with either of these personality types? If you find you are a mixture of both traits, you probably have an ambivert personality.

The following are a few things only ambiverts will understand:

1. We can’t decide if we are truly introverts or extroverts and that can be confusing

Our extrovert friends are all about the parties, socializing, and being with people. They seem to draw energy from just being around others and never tire of it. The thing is, ambiverts feel like that too – except when we don’t.

After a period of socializing, ambiverts, just like introverts, need to have some time alone time to recharge our batteries. The thing that makes them different from both our introverted and extroverted friends is that sometimes we draw energy from being with others and sometimes we recharge by spending time alone – and we need both.

If we have too much alone time we can get lonely, restless, and drained, and hanker after company once more. Having an ambivert personality can be confusing as you are never quite sure how you will feel at any given time. The only way around this is to plan a mixture of social and alone time and then adjust that schedule according to the mood of the day.

2. We are able to relate to nearly everyone

An ambivert personality gets along so well with both introverts and extroverts that we have no trouble making friends. The thing is, we can relate to both ways of being and are happy with our sociable friends and completely understanding of introverts’ need for time alone. The downside of this is that we often don’t receive quite the same understanding back.

Our extroverted friends just don’t understand that yesterday we were the life and soul of the party and now we just want to be alone – and some of them can take the apparent change in behavior personally. In the same way, the introverted friend who enjoys quite a time with their ambivert friend can’t understand how he likes to party so much.

3. We can get shy

When we are surrounded by friends, us ambiverts can be very talkative, loud and outgoing. However, we often find it difficult to show this extroverted side when we are with people we know less well. We can be shy and nervous around people we don’t know well. People can be confused by this apparent change in personality and may think there is something wrong.

4. Our activity levels change constantly

Because there are two sides to our personality, we can have clear spikes and lulls in our activity levels. Some of our weeks may be full of activity, meet-ups, phone calls, messages, and nights out. But then there is a lull, a few days when we just want to stay home alone and work on a project, watch TV or read.

We find it hard to interact with others at times like this and friends may wonder why we don’t take their calls, answer their messages or say yes to a night out.

5. We are often confused about what we want

Because of these changing energy levels and different moods, we often struggle to decide what we really want. This can be confusing for our friends as we seem to change our minds a lot and can seem like a different person from moment to moment.

It’s best to be honest with our friends and not make excuses – eventually, they will come to realize that it’s just the way we are and they will accept our changes in energy and mood without being hurt or frustrated by it.

6. We like to talk but not for the sake of it

Ambiverts can talk about many subjects as loudly and as enthusiastically as the next person, but we hate small talk. When around people with similar interests, we can get involved in long animated discussions about the things we love.

However, with people we know less well, we struggle because many conversation starters, such as talking about work, family, or the weather are unbearable for ambiverts – we don’t want to skim the surface of social interactions we want to go deeper.

7. Relationships can be difficult for us

It can be a challenge for friends to adapt to the different sides of an ambivert personality and it can be even more problematic in a relationship. We switch between wanting nothing more than to be left alone to being desperate to socialize with others.

In a romantic partnership, this can be difficult to negotiate. To potential partners, it may seem that an ambivert switches from loving and sociable to quiet and distant in the blink of an eye.

This personality type may also want to cancel arrangements at short notice because of a change in mood. As ambiverts, we may need to come to a compromise and realize that we can’t let down our significant other just because we are not in the mood. But we must also be honest and explain that we need a balance of social and alone time in our lives.

If you have an ambivert personality, let us know your thoughts about this article in the comments below!

View Comments

  • Kirstie,
    i really find your article very interesting
    its just describing me!(this the social side of me speaking)

  • I can totally identify with everything written here and now I know what it's called, too. And I'm OK, I guess, just the way I am. I always thought I was just moody and so does everyone who knows me. But it certainly goes way deeper than that. Everything said here is ME.

  • This blog is wonderful! I find myself doing just that and yes my parents have told me that i do not get along well with society and that something HAS to be wrong with me. So for my health's and sane mind's sake, I keep quiet BUT reject that statement in my soul. What hurts is that society as a whole is so naive about this topic that i can boldly say that many ambiverts are being misdiagnosed by mental institutions. You can a sane ambivert with true psychopath and that ambivert eill become defiled and misunderstood. We're so receptive to people's energies. We love and hope so much. I love being an ambivert and now I will work on how to embrace this unique trait in me and other innies and ambies so that none of us enter into depression for not being extroverted all the time and being preys for psychopaths.

  • I've only just discovered that being an ambivert is a thing and I am so relieved. It totally explains why I am perfectly happy to have one or two quality conversations a day - and then spend the rest of the day in contented solitude. Thank you

  • Well, I never heard the term, "ambivert" before but it was shockingly accurate in describing my personality! I think what is the most salient feature of being ambivert, is that we are almost always misunderstood.

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Published by
Kirstie Pursey