Psychology & Mental Health

7 Painful Psychological Effects of Growing Up Without a Mother

Published by
Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

Growing up without a mother can feel incredibly lonely. However, there are psychological issues that can arise due to this single-parent dynamic.

There are definite psychological effects of growing up without a mother. Absent parents leave long-term imprints on growing children that can affect relationships, education, and many other aspects of life. This is more evident when children grow up without a mother. Cognitive and non-cognitive abilities are fostered by parental guidance.

“A mother’s arms are more comforting than anyone else’s.”

Princess Diana

What Are the Psychological Effects of Growing Up Without a Mother?

If you’ve grown up without the influence and teaching of your mother, it’s probably been confusing. Maybe you’ve noticed differences between you and your friends, coworkers, and partners. And, honestly, things are different, down to your mindset even.

There are several psychological effects of growing up without a mother. Let’s take a look.

1. Unhealthy relationships

Growing up without the emotional support of a mother can prevent a child from understanding their feelings. When entering intimate relationships, you may find yourself unable to communicate properly, respect your partner, or exhibit healthy intimate behaviors.

Not having the teachings and emotional support of one parent, especially for extended periods, can drastically affect how you view relationships in general. And considering a parent was absent, you will also have problems understanding the feelings of your partner as well.

2. Commitment issues

Whether it’s an intimate relationship or friendship, commitment may be difficult for you. When you grow up without a mother’s love and devotion, these feelings may not come naturally to you. You will probably be less likely to engage in meaningful long-term relationships because you are afraid of losing your loved one later on. This is especially true if your mother has passed away. The fear of commitment becomes instinctual.

3. Educational effects

Children who grow up without a mother may have short and long-term cognitive effects as pertains to formal education. In fact, if you did not have your mother growing up, your grades may be lower, and you may not have attended college.

Studies in China show that motherless children indeed had a lower percentage of university attendance. And, overall morale and willingness to learn are decreased as opposed to the motivation of children with two parents in the home.

4. Heightened stress levels

Children raised in a single-parent home, especially one void of a mother figure, suffer from stress. If you’ve lost your mother to death or separation, any trauma in life may feel stronger and more threatening. This is because a mother is more likely to buffer the child from various hurts and dangers.

Mothers provide emotional support during times of trouble, and without them, this support is gone. In the absence of the mother, these dangers become more terrifying, thus an increase in anxiety and anxiety disorders.

5. Increase in depression

The lack of parental support in early childhood may contribute to depression as well. The reason for this is interesting and makes sense. If you are without a mother in early childhood and into adulthood, you may suffer from low self-esteem, no personal control, and problems with family members causing estrangement. These three factors, when present, can cause depression.

6. Social anxiety

Unlike other forms of anxiety, social anxiety involves directly dealing with other people daily. The absence of a mother can make you feel self-conscious and awkward. This may be because of the inability to bond with a mother figure, thus causing the inability to bond with women in adulthood.

You could have trouble talking to men or women if you don’t understand them or yourself very well. Social anxiety can also breed distrust that further isolates you from others.

7. Complacency

Growing up without a mother can cause complacency in life. If you are an adult product of a single-parent household, you may feel as though there is a hole inside. This emptiness can prevent you from moving on and growing stronger. It can hinder your goals and put a hard stop on your dreams. If you cannot deal with these feelings, you will be unable to heal from the loss or absence.

Learning to heal

There are many reasons why you may have grown up without a mother, but, among all the negative psychological effects that come from the situation, there is hope. Many people that come from single-parent households learn how to cope by becoming independent and helping others.

However, it is important to seek professional help as early as possible, so you understand what you’re going through. Then, you can use your skills of survival to thrive and teach others what you have learned. You can navigate your new life. So, if your mother was absent from your life, it’s time to face this truth head-on. I wish you the best in rebuilding your confidence and dreams for the future.

Good luck!

View Comments

  • My mother r was an alcoholic. Lots of fighting between parents I guess, divorced when I was 8. Never knew a mother's love. Thought things were normal, never knew love until my friends mothers passed away (59) and I began to understand.
    Love is a vast part of a person's life. I feel like I am missing a part of "love" ftom my life, like a peice of pie missing from a pie. I just don't know what piece is missing because I never had it. YES, I damn sure know something is missing. True meaning of deep love?

Published by
Sherrie Hurd, A.A.