That’s it. I’m an introvert. Moreover, I’m a woman. Here is my confession of an introverted woman who sometimes hates the extrovert-focalized world, who sometimes leaves for a weekend to the country where no one is around, who would rather close all the doors and windows and hide from everyone.
How do I deal with that? Well, I’ve got used to it. Still, every day I challenge myself. I have a full-time job, a family, a rather active social life (as for an introvert), and I know how to make myself feel comfortable in society.
Most of my extrovert friends think that I just pretend to be introvert. I believe introverts will understand me: with our friends, we feel relaxed and less tensed, so we can look like we are chatty and communicative. But I feel so exhausted after these chatty evenings, so I need a couple of days to go back to a normal life. What other challenges do I meet?
Here is my list of challenges which make me suffer as an introverted woman:
Have you heard that women are more talkative than men? Everyone thinks like that. And everyone asks me why I am silent all the time. And every time I need to explain that I’m not silent, I’m not in a bad mood and everything is ok. I’m just not talkative.
I believe that you need to speak when you have something to tell, and if you just want to tell something so that everybody notices you, don’t do that.
If a man is silent, it is considered a normal situation. But when a woman is silent – get ready to thousands of questions.
Why are you so shy? This is the most ignorant question you can ask a person. Introverts are not shy. They just do not like to be in the center of everyone’s attention.
Of course, frequently introverts need to be in the center of everyone’s attention. For example, when they present some concepts or talk to big groups of people. It does not mean that they are shy, it means that they feel uncomfortable in a big group of people.
Really. When you say that you are an introvert, everyone starts to think that you hate them. Moreover, they think that you hate all men and that you will never get married.
They think that you never date someone and hate kids. But when I tell that I’m already married and have a daughter (and I adore her), they are a little bit frustrated. How did this sociopath get married? Come on, an introvert is not a sociopath and we do not hate people. We love them, but we need some time to be alone.
Yes, I repeat myself. But you need to understand this simple thing – everyone around you believes that you at least do not notice men, and in most cases, they think you hate them.
Because you do not flirt with them as extrovert women do. You do not smile, laugh and talk-talk-talk. Let’s be honest: most of the introvert women cannot flirt. And that is normal. But it does not mean that we have some problems with men.
Well, that’s true. Perhaps, there are introverts who love to be in big groups of people (are there?), but I prefer to be alone. I get tired from my best buddies, and sometimes from my husband (who is a real extrovert with hundreds of friends) and even from my child. It is normal. So sometimes I just take a few days to be alone and to have a rest from this noisy world.
If you are an introverted woman (c-c-combo!), you need to find some ways to survive. But there are so many advantages of being an introverted woman!
We are clever, we are responsible, and we are concentrated. We get more, we achieve more. And we can absolutely live in a noisy world of extroverts. We just need to find some ways to deal with our problems.
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This introverted man understands these challenges too. As one who finds "small talk" superficial and somewhat pointless, I can/do engage in lengthy conversations of substance and thoroughly enjoy them. In large groups of people, I prefer to listen as there is a chance I may learn something. I, too, have been called shy, antisocial, aloof but I am none of these - simply a man who engages in conversation when I feel I have something relevant to contribute. I agree that introverts are clever, we are responsible, and we are concentrated. We get more, we achieve more. And we can absolutely live in a noisy world of extroverts. I simply prefer to solve problems and enjoy life in quiet solitude more often than others - and I emphatically don't think being an introvert is a problem....:).
yeah. same happns with me.everytime even my friends sometimes cal me boring and shy which actually i m not. acc to them being introvert is the main reason that i dnt hav a boyfriend.infact its my choice.i love to be alone. i like to do my everything with responsibility.nd not to care what others thinks. i like the way i m .
Yeah I experienced everything here. Every time a make new friends, who are total extroverts, I get this redundant questions or sometimes ignorant. Lucky that I have bffs that are introverts (some extroverts) that can understand me.
I am an introvert and African woman. Generally speaking, in Africa women stereotypes on how they are supposed to behave are very strong and women are supposed to be extroverts. By experience, all the point listed are very true, especially when people think introverted women " hate" men. Really appreciate this post.