Rather than feeling calm and serene, the lack of other people in their presence brings on feelings of anxiety, loneliness, and abandonment. If this describes your reaction to being alone, you may have simply never learned to adapt to solitude.
Fortunately, you can retrain your brain to view it in a different way, and there are many benefits to doing so. If you can successfully alter the way you think about being alone, you can begin to enjoy the benefits of solitude.
When you are always surrounded by other people, the activities you take part in are the result of group decision making. That means frequently compromising and ditching what you would like to do in favor of what the majority of the group decides will be the most fun.
When you are alone, you pick the activity. This might include taking up an old hobby, indulging in a pastime that others may consider to be odd or silly, or learning something new.
As much as we love them, our friends and family members can be annoying sometimes. When we are around people all of the time, small irritations can feel pretty significant. The result of this can be stupid fights and misunderstandings.
These may not be devastating, but they do result in negative memories and bad feelings. When you take time to be alone, you’ll focus on the good things when your friends and family are with you.
In many cases, people who dislike being alone have a tendency to get a significant amount of their self-worth from others. When they are with others, they get an emotional lift from compliments on their appearance, the number of people who stop and say hello, and even the people who laugh at their jokes.
If this sounds like you, there is nothing wrong with feeling good because other people enjoy your presence. However, you should also feel good about being in your own presence.
Life can be a struggle for an outgoing introvert. On one hand, you love being around people. On the other hand, your introverted nature means that being around other people is an absolute energy drain. If you spend just a bit of time alone, you will find that you have new energy for the next to get together.
Sometimes, aversion to being alone is really an aversion to your own feelings. If you are with other people, you are constantly interacting instead of reflecting.
When you spend time by yourself, it is just you and your thoughts. This forces you to confront and examine your emotions. This is hard work, but there is no denying that it is extremely beneficial.
It’s hard to read when you are constantly surrounded by others. This is a shame because there are few things that keep your mind sharp and healthy as effectively as reading does.
Rather than looking at time spent alone as something to dread, try viewing it as an opportunity to read, learn, and grow.
Being with your loved ones who are able to be physically present is a wonderful thing. But what about friends and family who don’t live nearby? You can use the time when you are alone to email, text, Facebook message, or even write letters to the people you care about who live far away.
This will allow you to feel connected to other people even when somebody is not there with you in person.
Let’s be honest. Sometimes keeping people nearby gives us an excuse not to get things done. It’s easy to blow off dreaded tasks such as house cleaning, paying the bills, or studying when there are friends to entertain or be entertained by.
If you spend at least some time alone, you will find yourself focusing more on these tasks, and eventually, you will begin getting things done. If you find yourself constantly falling behind on the things you need to get done, this should be plenty of motivation for learning to embrace being alone.
When you are with others, even in a relatively quiet setting, you are bombarded with external stimulation. People are talking, moving, and there is just a general din of activity. It may not seem like it, but this is taxing on your mind and body.
When you are alone, the amount of external stimulation that you are receiving is significantly reduced. You will find that this helps to calm your nerves and improves your ability to focus and concentrate.
Just like time spent alone makes you appreciate your friends, it will also make your friends miss and appreciate you. This means that the time you do spend with others will, as a whole, be more enjoyable. This may just be the most compelling benefit of learning to enjoy time spent alone.
View Comments
It's amazing that you put your own picture up there. :)
Indeed, one can read and learn a lot of things in solitude.
Once you accept yourself one start enjoying solitude which in turn increases self confidence
A Mind over Matter thing
This picture looks extremely old, is that how far back you had to go in order to find a picture of someone taking alone time? Wow!