Growing up, I always was cold-tempered and reserved. I never cried like the other kids and rarely showed any kind of emotions and sentiments.
It’s not that I was insensitive or emotionally detached, but quite the opposite. I felt everything very deeply but believed that it was not appropriate to show it. I thought my sensitivity was a weakness, so I did everything to hide it.
It may surprise you, but not all sensitive people are a sort of “drama queens” who react to everything with an emotional outburst. In fact, many of them happen to have a cold, reserved personality either due to their childhood experiences, a lack of warmth in their family, or simply the particularities of their temper.
Other people often confuse such individuals for being insensitive and hard-hearted while in reality, they are simply emotionally strong and tend to keep their feelings and thoughts to themselves.
Here are some of the struggles I faced as a cold person with a sensitive soul. Can you relate to any of them?
If you have been a cold person for your whole life, it’s difficult (or nearly impossible) to change and become more open in expressing your feelings. Sometimes, you want to show your dear ones how much you care and how much you love them, but you literally can’t. It feels like an invisible wall that separates you from them and stops you from expressing your tenderness.
You (or, at least, your subconscious mind) are used to considering any kind of strong emotions to be a weakness. So you don’t like to expose your sensitive and vulnerable self even to your close ones, such as your partner or family members. That’s why you absolutely hate when someone sees you cry, be angry or frustrated.
You try to conceal your emotions and feelings either they are negative or positive. For example, if you are in a relationship, you may be avoiding any manifestation of tenderness and love when you and your special someone are in public.
Since you rarely show your true emotions, it makes sense why other people may mistake you for a hard-hearted person. People you are not very close to may even think you just don’t care or don’t have feelings at all.
It’s because you don’t reveal the whole range of your emotions and thoughts even to your family or loved one, so the people you don’t have a deep connection with know just the tiny tip of the iceberg of your soul.
A silly and insignificant situation, such as a misunderstanding with your colleague or a critical comment from your boss, can sometimes spoil your mood for the whole day. Criticism, conflicts and all kinds of negative vibes unsettle you very deeply.
But those around you have no idea what you are going through. They can’t imagine that you can be frustrated with something so tiny and keep thinking that stupid situation over and over, silently drowning in the sea of distressing emotions.
Sometimes, you find it extremely challenging to even start a conversation aimed to explain how you feel. Here, I’m not speaking only of love confessions or relationship talks but of any situation when you have to reveal your true thoughts and feelings to someone.
This kind of conversations make you feel awkward and vulnerable, so you try to avoid having them even with your parents or special someone.
If you love a cold person with a sensitive soul, don’t wait for them to make the first step and always take the initiative in your relationship. Never forget that they do have feelings too and, in fact, may be even more sensitive than you are.
If you are this kind of person yourself, try to give yourself the permission to be more open about your feelings with your loved ones. They know, appreciate and love the real you and you’ve got nothing to fear. And most importantly, remember that sensitivity is not a weakness but is a great strength.
Are you a cold person with a sensitive soul? Did you identify with any of the above-described struggles? Share your thoughts in the comment box below.
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Still trying to make people understand I sometimes do feel bad about things.. But as everyone says I am a cold hearted person and that cannot be changed. But glad to know such people exist and I am not the only one.
I'm almost the opposite. I'm emotionally detached in that I just am not effected by the same people as others but when people say nasty things like calling me a monster for it, it does hurt but I brush it off. So same but opposite?
People expressing and exuding their emotions and energies are often quite the opposite of sensitive. Though they themselves like to claim to be the ones that really care. Truth is, if you are filled up to the brim with yourself and your own emotions, how can you to be empty or empathic at the same time? That's impossible.
So in my humble opinion, the only way a person can be highly sensitive and receptive, and at the same time still function in this insensitive society, is by being able to wear external energies like clothes., slide them on and off at will. Some might consider this a socio/psychopathic trait. I say, this is my way of protecting myself and dealing with being a Cancerian and a Goat.
I recieve stuff, and in order to stay sane I need the ability to detach myself from all external energies (possessions).
Yori Alexander Fransz
great commentary with personal anecdotes
It underlines what I already believe about those who present as emotionless.
im 17 and i started to become a cold hearted person from being bullied and lost someone i truly loved the relationship lasted two years but i ended it because she was a negative person and lied many time before. i began to stop caring for people thinking im wasting time here and there telling myself whats the damn point of this whole things so i start to distant myself from many friends and kept a few close true friends. I saw that why should i show my feelings to others why should i care when really i don't find no interest in these conversations. i hurt a lot of people showing how cold i am and rude i can be to others. I talk short cant keep a conversation going because i get bored easily or i just dont care and wanna end the conversation. i always tell the truth to others and give them my honest no matter how rude it is i tell the truth because i am no lair like other people in this world but i only lie if its necessary to do so but other than that i spoke truth no matter what. my life growing was good until mid school i went through so much pain misery in order for me to keep on living i had to kill somethings inside of me such as feelings caring and more sense then i have been doing well but i try m best to show some true friends i care but sometimes it hard to show. i always hang out alone all the time its not because im sad or mad or anything like i just dont care if i am alone or i dont have friends im ok with the outcome of things even if i die alone be alone for the rest of my life i dont mind because i already am ok with it and i accept it nothing will change that no matter how cruel i am or others how they treat me i always be fine on my own with or without anyone.