5 Struggles of Being a Cold Person with a Sensitive Soul

cold person with a sensitive soul

A cold person with a sensitive soul may sound self-contradictory at first, but the truth is that many cold and distant people hide a vulnerable, sensitive nature.

Growing up, I always was cold-tempered and reserved. I never cried like the other kids and rarely showed any kind of emotions and sentiments.

It’s not that I was insensitive or emotionally detached, but quite the opposite. I felt everything very deeply but believed that it was not appropriate to show it. I thought my sensitivity was a weakness, so I did everything to hide it.

It may surprise you, but not all sensitive people are a sort of “drama queens” who react to everything with an emotional outburst. In fact, many of them happen to have a cold, reserved personality either due to their childhood experiences, a lack of warmth in their family, or simply the particularities of their temper.

Other people often confuse such individuals for being insensitive and hard-hearted while in reality, they are simply emotionally strong and tend to keep their feelings and thoughts to themselves.

Here are some of the struggles I faced as a cold person with a sensitive soul. Can you relate to any of them?

1. Sometimes, you really want to show your feelings, but you can’t.

If you have been a cold person for your whole life, it’s difficult (or nearly impossible) to change and become more open in expressing your feelings. Sometimes, you want to show your dear ones how much you care and how much you love them, but you literally can’t. It feels like an invisible wall that separates you from them and stops you from expressing your tenderness.

2. You hate to be seen being emotional.

You (or, at least, your subconscious mind) are used to considering any kind of strong emotions to be a weakness. So you don’t like to expose your sensitive and vulnerable self even to your close ones, such as your partner or family members. That’s why you absolutely hate when someone sees you cry, be angry or frustrated.

You try to conceal your emotions and feelings either they are negative or positive. For example, if you are in a relationship, you may be avoiding any manifestation of tenderness and love when you and your special someone are in public.

3. Others think you are hard-hearted and insensitive.

Since you rarely show your true emotions, it makes sense why other people may mistake you for a hard-hearted person. People you are not very close to may even think you just don’t care or don’t have feelings at all. It’s because you don’t reveal the whole range of your emotions and thoughts even to your family or loved one, so the people you don’t have a deep connection with know just the tiny tip of the iceberg of your soul.

4. You are really vulnerable and get hurt easily, but no one knows it.

A silly and insignificant situation, such as a misunderstanding with your colleague or a critical comment from your boss, can sometimes spoil your mood for the whole day. Criticism, conflicts and all kinds of negative vibes unsettle you very deeply. But those around you have no idea what you are going through. They can’t imagine that you can be frustrated with something so tiny and keep thinking that stupid situation over and over, silently drowning in the sea of distressing emotions.

5. You find it difficult to talk about your feelings.

Sometimes, you find it extremely challenging to even start a conversation aimed to explain how you feel. Here, I’m not speaking only of love confessions or relationship talks but of any situation when you have to reveal your true thoughts and feelings to someone. This kind of conversations make you feel awkward and vulnerable, so you try to avoid having them even with your parents or special someone.

Final Thoughts

If you love a cold person with a sensitive soul, don’t wait for them to make the first step and always take the initiative in your relationship. Never forget that they do have feelings too and, in fact, may be even more sensitive than you are.

If you are this kind of person yourself, try to give yourself the permission to be more open about your feelings with your loved ones. They know, appreciate and love the real you and you’ve got nothing to fear. And most importantly, remember that sensitivity is not a weakness but is a great strength.

Are you a cold person with a sensitive soul? Did you identify with any of the above-described struggles? Share your thoughts in the comment box below.

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Anna LeMind

Anna LeMind

Anna is the founder and lead editor of the website Learning-mind.com. She is passionate about learning new things and reflecting on thought-provoking ideas. She writes about science, psychology and other related topics. She is particularly interested in topics regarding introversion, consciousness and subconscious, perception, human mind's potential, as well as the nature of reality and the universe.





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By | 2017-03-05T17:53:14+00:00 August 16th, 2016|Categories: Personal Development, Personality, Self-Improvement|Tags: , , , , |10 Comments

10 Comments

  1. Thea Dunlap August 17, 2016 at 5:44 am - Reply

    For me this is deep but a very nice read to. Thanks for sharing 🙂

  2. JenB August 17, 2016 at 5:01 pm - Reply

    Yes! My partner just left me for this very reason. i was trying to work on it, but he didnt believe me. He didnt believe that I did care, that I did love him. He didnt believe me when I said how bad it hurt that I couldnt make him believe. Now hes gone and Im working daily on changing that part of me so I never lose someone I love again.

    • Elizabeth Sandra March 21, 2017 at 4:09 am - Reply

      I face similar situation as you. My partner is a very expressive man, while I am totally the opposite, so he thinks that I don’t love him as much as he does. We often argue about it too. But don’t be too sad, JenB. If he left you because of that, probably because he did not put extra effort to understand you deeper. But lesson to learn for us, we need to learn to be more expressive and flexible sometimes…

  3. Daph October 1, 2016 at 7:25 am - Reply

    I encountered a sensitive soul yet expressive one. He was open and expressive about his affection and ways of showing his endearment. He was openly loving. Since he was not only open, but also accepting, I became comfortable enough with him and opened up about myself – that I’m a sensitive person hiding behind this cold exterior. He assured me with a sweet smile. He asked me more about the things I like, the things I’m comfortable with and the things that make me feel uncomfortable. He never stopped expressing his care, love and concern. One time, while walking on the lonely streets, I found myself talking about my emotions, freely expressing what I suppressed – I found myself telling him about the emotions and things I’ve never even said out loud before. With his help, I’ve finally come to accept my emotions, dealing with them, managing them and most of all, embracing them 🙂

    The warmth of love ignites the fire of embracing emotions, which helps the cold exterior in a way that is breathtaking.

  4. Dhruv December 1, 2016 at 12:11 pm - Reply

    Things makes me feel alive
    Nature

    Meaningful nd deep talks

    Your articles

    Thank you

  5. allie February 1, 2017 at 12:27 am - Reply

    I wish I had a cold soul too

    • Lunar July 7, 2017 at 7:51 am - Reply

      Me.too

  6. Random February 24, 2017 at 6:15 pm - Reply

    its not good to be cold hearted believe me…. when i was in elementary i didnt cry when someone hit me got in trouble or anything cause i thought emotions made people weak so i hold it all in and acted tough and in middle school i started softening and told my self in at the end of middle school i had to be cold hearted and emotionless again cause emotions hurt and now here i am… i find it hard to love people the same now i dont even feel bad anymore when people get hurt physically and mentally but i only did it cause of problems i have… so dont be cold hearted

  7. Elizabeth Sandra March 21, 2017 at 4:06 am - Reply

    This article exactly talks about me! Although it doesn’t feel good when people misunderstand your feeling and thought most of the time…

  8. hersh April 18, 2017 at 8:58 pm - Reply

    it is very awkward. I am rather detached from most emotions and it feels like being a vast desert. I am concerned, not for short term, but I suspect if I remain like this, I may get bored with life and I think people that have ups and downs get a better deal in life experiences and motivation. It may have biological roots, but in my case, I think it was more than not was caused by my attitude towards outside stress and pressure that I ended up this way

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5 Struggles of Being a Cold Person with a Sensitive Soul