10 Struggles Only Emotionally Detached People Will Understand

///10 Struggles Only Emotionally Detached People Will Understand

Being emotionally detached can have many positives – it suits our introverted personalities to keep the people at a safe distance.

We are also great at handling criticism and we’re the go-to person for advice since we stay emotionless in drama-filled situations. However, there are also many drawbacks of being emotionally cold that you can only identify with if you are such kind of a person yourself:

1. Being the only dry-eyed person in the cinema

Sometimes, it can be great not to cry at sad movies – it means no snotty mess, no streaking mascara and no noisy sniffles. But occasionally, it may be nice to experience a sad moment the way others around us do, especially when we get glared at for being so cold.

2. When people expect you to be open about your feelings

This dreaded scenario can come in many forms – a relationship, a friendship or sometimes a complete stranger. At some point, you will be expected to speak about your feelings and if you’re emotionally detached, it just won’t happen. This isn’t to say you don’t have any feelings, but that you don’t generally want to share the ones you do have, especially not on demand.

3. You tend to feel awkward when somebody tells you their feelings

If somebody is opening up to you about their feelings or emotions, chances are you won’t have a clue what to say in response. Whether it’s somebody telling you they love you or crying on your shoulder about their bad day, your usual response is to awkwardly say “erm” or excuse you from the situation.

4. You’re used to being the one everyone turns to in a crisis

Being so calm and emotionless means you’re level headed in an emergency situation. Whilst this is undoubtedly a positive thing, it also means you will end up having to deal with everybody else’s problems too.

5. If a serious conversation is happening, you tend to use humour

Using wit or sarcasm as a form of humour to hide behind is one of your go-to coping mechanisms for emotional conversations. Because of this, you’re also used to people close to you getting frustrated with the fact they can’t have a serious conversation with you.

6. People forget you do actually have feelings

People become so used to your cold heart that they get used to saying anything to you – regardless of how hurtful it may be. Unfortunately, we do have feelings and when people forget that, it doesn’t end well.

7. Clingy people really scare you

People who are overly dependent and clingy scare the living daylights out of you because you’re used to being independent and are most definitely not used to having to deal with so much emotion.

8. Not many people know what goes on in your life

As an emotionally detached person, it’s not just emotions you tend to shut off from people, but your day to day life too. It becomes such a habit to not rely on others that the people closest to you may actually struggle to keep up with what you’re doing in your life as you just don’t tell them.

9. When you like someone, you tend to push them away

Experiencing feelings for another human can be a terrifying thing for somebody who is emotionally detached, so you tend to shut it down and push them away as much as you can out of fear of your own emotions.

10. People struggle to cope with you

New people may struggle to cope with your lack of emotional expression, but the important thing is that those who are in your life know what you’re like and accept you for you.

It’s not easy being emotionally detached, but it makes it a little bit easier knowing others share our pain. Can you identify with anything on this list or do you know someone who is emotionally detached? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.


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By |2018-12-14T21:32:04+00:00July 7th, 2016|Categories: Personal Development, Self-Improvement|Tags: , , |9 Comments

About the Author:

I'm a psychology student with a passion for books, good food and movies. I can often be found reading self-help articles snuggled up in bed with a cup of coffee or writing about anything and everything in a quiet cafe somewhere.


  1. john July 7, 2016 at 11:30 pm - Reply

    I find most people are obtuse because they have little knowledge of what they talk about and believe in. I don’t like being around people because truth and facts threaten most people because they see you as a knowledgeable threat . At times I feel I can see right into their souls and strip away the moronic flesh that makes them the dolts they really are. Most people are boring and shallow . I love to read and research the things that interest me the most . I love knowledge ….

    • Roberto Coto September 11, 2018 at 12:12 pm - Reply

      You are a very smart person, but always remember that a dolt can come and help you if you ever get a flat tire. We need compassion, because nobody ever ask to be born the way they are.

  2. ok.name December 28, 2017 at 6:10 am - Reply

    Its ironic that me being so emotionally detached the number of people that tell me thire secrets is insane even worse is the look they give you when you don’t express facial emotions.why do you do these things strangers Im not your friend this is the first time we met I only said hello because you said hi.ahhhh.oh well at least the grocery shopping excuse works fine.

  3. Isa August 9, 2018 at 7:46 pm - Reply

    I am also suffering from EDD. I can’t help myself! I really need to find a way out of this problem

  4. Kaitlyn October 2, 2018 at 11:33 pm - Reply

    I don’t know if I’m emotionally detached, I just find that I don’t care. If someone is telling me something or talking to me, I tune them out. If someone is in a sticky situation, I don’t care. It’s not my problem to deal with. People are awful to be around. You are always expected to be a nice and happy person or to give a damn. Unfortunately for most humans, that isn’t me. I don’t know about others, but I like my walls. It’s a place I can hide and be myself in. That is most likely a bad thing, but I’d rather be emotionally distant then get attached to people who will hurt me in the end. It’s kind of pointless.

  5. Linda A Lillard October 22, 2018 at 8:00 pm - Reply

    More often than not people who are emotionally detached are that way by their own choosing. At some point in their life they’ve been significantly betrayed and disappointed by someone close to them. They erect walls and run from those painful emotions. They become unknowingly very selfish as it becomes all about protecting themselves from any potential hurt. It’s incredibly painful to those who love you to bear the pain another caused. Some never will be able to let their guard down and open up again. Just remember though like so many things it’s a choice. Everyone is different and the hurt that someone previously caused you does not mean everyone will do the same. Learn to trust yourself again. Much love to all who suffer.

  6. Lj November 20, 2018 at 6:39 pm - Reply

    One thing I didn’t lost is being compassionate towards others. Surely, I don’t give a dime when people disappear. It’s a fact of life that we will disappear. It’s our responsibility how to overcome pain. I’m beyond that. I get hurt and bounce back quicker than most people in general.

    On the other hand, I want to keep my emotion such as as missing my guy and friends. Unfortunately, I don’t operate that way. I feel there is nothing whether he exist or not, I feel fine.

  7. Katrina November 26, 2018 at 10:12 am - Reply

    I’ve just discovered that’s a real term for me ..it’s I’m 57 and always wondered why I was the way I was now I know .. as the article says it has its plus sides but definitely big drawbacks but we are who we are .. I did further research to discover why and it’s from a traumatic event as a child ( in my case ) which I’ve blocked out . It all seems to make sense now

  8. Kaitlin November 26, 2018 at 10:31 am - Reply

    Now I know my condition I feel for anyone out there in the same situation, sending you all my love

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