We are also great at handling criticism and we’re the go-to person for advice since we stay emotionless in drama-filled situations. However, there are also many drawbacks of being emotionally cold that you can only identify with if you are such kind of a person yourself:
Sometimes, it can be great not to cry at sad movies – it means no snotty mess, no streaking mascara and no noisy sniffles. But occasionally, it may be nice to experience a sad moment the way others around us do, especially when we get glared at for being so cold.
This dreaded scenario can come in many forms – a relationship, a friendship or sometimes a complete stranger. At some point, you will be expected to speak about your feelings and if you’re emotionally detached, it just won’t happen. This isn’t to say you don’t have any feelings, but that you don’t generally want to share the ones you do have, especially not on demand.
If somebody is opening up to you about their feelings or emotions, chances are you won’t have a clue what to say in response. Whether it’s somebody telling you they love you or crying on your shoulder about their bad day, your usual response is to awkwardly say “erm” or excuse you from the situation.
Being so calm and emotionless means you’re level headed in an emergency situation. Whilst this is undoubtedly a positive thing, it also means you will end up having to deal with everybody else’s problems too.
Using wit or sarcasm as a form of humour to hide behind is one of your go-to coping mechanisms for emotional conversations. Because of this, you’re also used to people close to you getting frustrated with the fact they can’t have a serious conversation with you.
People become so used to your cold heart that they get used to saying anything to you – regardless of how hurtful it may be. Unfortunately, we do have feelings and when people forget that, it doesn’t end well.
People who are overly dependent and clingy scare the living daylights out of you because you’re used to being independent and are most definitely not used to having to deal with so much emotion.
As an emotionally detached person, it’s not just emotions you tend to shut off from people, but your day to day life too. It becomes such a habit to not rely on others that the people closest to you may actually struggle to keep up with what you’re doing in your life as you just don’t tell them.
Experiencing feelings for another human can be a terrifying thing for somebody who is emotionally detached, so you tend to shut it down and push them away as much as you can out of fear of your own emotions.
New people may struggle to cope with your lack of emotional expression, but the important thing is that those who are in your life know what you’re like and accept you for you.
It’s not easy being emotionally detached, but it makes it a little bit easier knowing others share our pain. Can you identify with anything on this list or do you know someone who is emotionally detached? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.
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One thing I didn't lost is being compassionate towards others. Surely, I don't give a dime when people disappear. It's a fact of life that we will disappear. It's our responsibility how to overcome pain. I'm beyond that. I get hurt and bounce back quicker than most people in general.
On the other hand, I want to keep my emotion such as as missing my guy and friends. Unfortunately, I don't operate that way. I feel there is nothing whether he exist or not, I feel fine.
I’ve just discovered that’s a real term for me ..it’s I’m 57 and always wondered why I was the way I was now I know .. as the article says it has its plus sides but definitely big drawbacks but we are who we are .. I did further research to discover why and it’s from a traumatic event as a child ( in my case ) which I’ve blocked out . It all seems to make sense now
Now I know my condition I feel for anyone out there in the same situation, sending you all my love
I've recently stumbled upon a post on Facebook that mentioned emotional detachment/emotionally unavailable. Those seemed like the right words to put to how I've been feeling (or I guess lack of feeling lol) for 6 years. It never occurred to me to look it up and do my own research. I just thought, I am the way I am. I never thought it was toxic, but I'm being toxic to myself. In certain situations, I know how a person would feel if they were being confided in by a friend or ya know... things normal people do. It's shameful to say, but I've just been going through the motions.
For the passed 6 years, I've been effected by this way of life and I can't take it anymore. I don't feel excited or happy about anything. I don't allow people to see inside of me. They're a just an arms reach enough to say we're friends but not too close. Or if I'm about to perform on stage, I'm not nervous nor happy. I just do it.
This has gravely effected every aspect of my life. I've been able to fake it, but I can't do this anymore. I'm gonna do something about it.
I hardly know how to react in group conversations. It was me and 4 friends, we got ice cream one day. This was my idea: no one else seems to be able to make group plans so I taught them a lesson by suggesting we get ice cream at night in winter. They were only mildly annoyed. We all sat in a car and had a conversation. I never really know what to say or how to say it when i'm in a group. I try to tell jokes, but no one gets it. I hardly ever crack a smile, but I think it feels like I am.
Bottom question: Should I fake my emotions then? Is it healthier for me to do that or just tell them what I'm really thinking, despite not being able to fully express it?