We are also great at handling criticism and we’re the go-to person for advice since we stay emotionless in drama-filled situations. However, there are also many drawbacks of being emotionally cold that you can only identify with if you are such kind of a person yourself:
Sometimes, it can be great not to cry at sad movies – it means no snotty mess, no streaking mascara and no noisy sniffles. But occasionally, it may be nice to experience a sad moment the way others around us do, especially when we get glared at for being so cold.
This dreaded scenario can come in many forms – a relationship, a friendship or sometimes a complete stranger. At some point, you will be expected to speak about your feelings and if you’re emotionally detached, it just won’t happen. This isn’t to say you don’t have any feelings, but that you don’t generally want to share the ones you do have, especially not on demand.
If somebody is opening up to you about their feelings or emotions, chances are you won’t have a clue what to say in response. Whether it’s somebody telling you they love you or crying on your shoulder about their bad day, your usual response is to awkwardly say “erm” or excuse you from the situation.
Being so calm and emotionless means you’re level headed in an emergency situation. Whilst this is undoubtedly a positive thing, it also means you will end up having to deal with everybody else’s problems too.
Using wit or sarcasm as a form of humour to hide behind is one of your go-to coping mechanisms for emotional conversations. Because of this, you’re also used to people close to you getting frustrated with the fact they can’t have a serious conversation with you.
People become so used to your cold heart that they get used to saying anything to you – regardless of how hurtful it may be. Unfortunately, we do have feelings and when people forget that, it doesn’t end well.
People who are overly dependent and clingy scare the living daylights out of you because you’re used to being independent and are most definitely not used to having to deal with so much emotion.
As an emotionally detached person, it’s not just emotions you tend to shut off from people, but your day to day life too. It becomes such a habit to not rely on others that the people closest to you may actually struggle to keep up with what you’re doing in your life as you just don’t tell them.
Experiencing feelings for another human can be a terrifying thing for somebody who is emotionally detached, so you tend to shut it down and push them away as much as you can out of fear of your own emotions.
New people may struggle to cope with your lack of emotional expression, but the important thing is that those who are in your life know what you’re like and accept you for you.
It’s not easy being emotionally detached, but it makes it a little bit easier knowing others share our pain. Can you identify with anything on this list or do you know someone who is emotionally detached? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.
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OMG I have found other people that feel the same way as I do. I honestly thought that I must be the only one. I HATE feeling this way. I HATE not feeling how other people expect me to feel. I fake my emotions and i am so tired of doing this.
I feel like it healthier for everyone off I just pretend to be happy. I seem to never feel real happiness about anything. It's all an act. I been married twice and OMG it's my fault they failed. I feel trapped in my own nothingness all the time.
Wow this is me, I relate to all these comments! and I don’t know why I am this way. I am very sensitive emotionally and in childhood and later in life had experiences of rejection. I feel like I was fairly normal up until maybe 6 or 7 years ago. I don’t have any close friends and no relationships ever work out for me. It’s incredibly painful and I don’t know how to change. I have always been an introvert but used to enjoy time with friends. Now I just want to be alone with my pets most of the time because being with people leads to more pain. It is so wonderful to know I am not alone.
Being emotionally detached, you treat everyone the same way, the same detached and cold way with everyone, even those who don't deserve it.
Wow....I am searching for answers as I am engaged to a woman who is disconnected. I don't want to change her but I feel I need more. Simple things.....like are you happy, sad, pissed off, nervous, apprehensive, stressed, etc. It seems EVERYTHING is ok with you. While you accepted my marriage proposal, I am not sure how you feel about me. It is very strange being on this end of it. As I too was this way for many years but found my way out. It took a significant life event to wake me up to what I was not capable of. I believe people have to see the pattern and see how it is hurting them and then be willing to at least explore ways to re-connect to themselves again. Emotions are not a weakness....they allow you to be seen and loved for who you are - otherwise you are just hiding and not letting anyone in. And in a love relationship that is hard. Anyway this has been my experience but now I have new challenges inside this new (6 yr) wonderful relationship but, if I am honest with myself, it works great as we are both independent and strong but when the relationship calls for intimacy (not sex) it becomes a one sided share which is very difficult to sustain. I just want to know her but she doesn't really know herself. Caught between loving her for who she is and whether it is enough for me to live alone inside the relationship. Not sure how to move forward..............
I realize I have all the struggles of emotionally detached person.However am most the compassionate,selfless person.like I have I just don’t know how to talk about myself.I am not bothered if you share or you don’t share,but if u do I share,I listen and sympathize with u.Are all emotionally detached people narcissistic?