We grow up believing that in order to be happy, we need to belong somewhere – a society, a country, a social circle, and finally, a family.
The desire to be a part of something bigger than ourselves seems to be our innate need, which probably has evolutionary roots (remember the well-known notion that human is a social animal?). As Wikipedia states, “belongingness is the human emotional need to be an accepted member of a group.”
But what happens in the case of people who don’t only lack this need but also feel that they don’t really fit in this world? Some individuals don’t simply consider themselves different from the rest – they actually have different tastes, ways of thinking, and priorities in life. They don’t like popular things and activities and don’t go after the goals most people pursue.
They may seem a sort of weirdos to those around them, but the truth is that there is a bright side of being a “misfit.”
Today, we will discuss four categories of people who are very likely to have a sense of detachment from the world because of their emotional and mental makeup. Moreover, it’s not a bad thing at all and is, in fact, an indication of increased awareness and sensitivity.
Sadly, the society we live in is giving more and more importance to primitive instincts and material needs. So it makes sense why individuals capable of deep thought may feel like they don’t belong here.
If you are a deep thinker, then you probably know what truly matters in life. That’s why seeing people around you chasing ephemeral goals and being interested in meaningless stuff is so disappointing. It’s not only disappointing – sometimes, it makes you wonder what you are doing here, among these people, and feel like you come from another world.
Old souls often feel like they don’t belong here, especially when growing up. Being passionate about unpopular things may make others pick up on your differences and tease you for it. And this can be painful in your awkward childhood and teenage years, making you feel like a misfit who doesn’t have a place in this world.
In your adult years, this gap separating you from other people only becomes bigger. However, you find your path in life and don’t care the same about what they think about you.
Empaths are so sensitive to the emotions and energy of other people that they may find it uncomfortable to be around them. If you are an empath, you know that every time you watch a news broadcast or learn something sad about someone you know, you get truly upset.
All these side effects of being an empath can also provoke a sense of detachment. And it’s no surprise – there is so much greed, cruelty, and violence in today’s world that an empath may suffer, being a part of it.
A spiritual awakening is a great experience that elevates you to a higher level of consciousness and turns you into a spiritually evolved being. However, it is also paired with painful feelings and experiences because fundamental changes are never easy.
Not only do you start to wonder about the existence, reconsidering your life decisions and relationships, but you may also feel detached from those around you and the world in general. It’s all because you are becoming more aware and understand things you previously turned a blind eye to.
Instead of worrying about what others think and seeking their approval, try to find your passion and life purpose. And it’s fine if it doesn’t seem attractive or “cool” to most people. The point is that it should fill your life with meaning and happiness.
Did any of the above-described things ring true for you? We would love to hear your thoughts on this.
If you are feeling like a misfit, you may want to read my recent articles that provide some guidance for coping with this emotional state:
When the flood of comments came in response to this article, I realized that there were far more people who felt like they didn’t belong here, in this world and society, than I had imagined.
Inspired by this fact, I wrote the book The Power of Misfits: How to Find Your Place in a World You Don’t Fit In to help all those introverts, empaths, and deep thinkers who feel alien to modern society. If you are feeling this way and are looking for answers, you may want to check my book on Amazon.
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I'm not trying to play the violin here..but I'm an only child, 36 year old, no family that cares, and I can count two friends on my hand. Which I'm super grateful for in my life. But my two friends I do have, travel and live out of state. So, I'm truly alone. It's been this way for the past 4 yrs.
I used to "fit in" when I was younger...but a couple years ago, I had a profound spiritual experience that has left me...well.. feeling like everyone else feels like here. I don't belong in this time and space. This dimension. This world is beautiful, and I see the beauty in it. But to me, the only thing that makes this world so ugly is humans who don't have a clue. Of course I feel separated from society..but I'm not ok with it. I wish I could "fit in" like I used to..but I'm not the same person as I was before. I'm wiser, and awakened. I wish I had someone to talk to (or have a connection with) on a daily basis, or even weekly. I just started a job where I work with hundreds of people, and needles to say, I have yet to connect with anyone. Everyone there (and my family) treat me like I'm an alien. I'm empathetic, I'm friendly when I do meet people, I respect people even when they don't deserve it, I have morals and values..that just doesn't seem to match with most others. Guess that's just not a common/popular thing for most of society to obtain. Trying to look at this, after reading others comments, that we are....the 1% of the population.
If anyone wants to chat about this subject, my email is cmariac2168@gmail.com
I think we should all form a group. How?
There is a group already and here it is - https://www.facebook.com/groups/629706294149180/
Hello Anna and everyone else thank you for writing this. I fit all the categories. I came across this just today when I'm feeling depressed. The last two weeks have been too overwhelming and I just want to escape from everywhere and everyone. Sometimes I think I will just take a bus to nowhere. I love silence and solitude; I'm just not sure who I am any more because I don't fit in anywhere.
Meditation can make most of that go away but takes at least a decade to do it right
I never felt I belonged, not just because I struggle with ADHD, anxiety, depression, etc... It’s also because I was so badly bullied for being me. I don’t fit in to the capitalist system, which capitalism is connected to our bully culture and who Trump and his followers are, I’m not a traditional thinker I reject the status quo who are the rich greedy capitalists. Sadly even Christians fell down the pro capitalist conservative ideology that supports conformity to the status quo who are the one percent. I don’t even fit into the punk and skateboarding scene that there a lot of pro Trump, pro conservative a holes in the scene now... when you hear some people in the scene say “ conservatism is the new punk” and support right wing morons like Jordan Peterson... you know you don’t belong anywhere anymore. The system is rigged and I’m aware but powerless to stop it... in fact I’m being gang stalked because of it.... bullied to conform... or bullied to death because I will never conform. They Live is a documentary! Reagonomics screwed us and inflation is happening because the rich want us to be slaves!
I think I just want to marry the women who wrote this blog. I know I would disappoint her (probably just politics) because I am all of these things. But I do remember to change the toilet paper roll when it is out and I always clean up after myself. I hate that I am even searching for answers but this website proves that there is something more - for me - out there. I do... I really do believe everyone else is the problem. Then why am I typing on this website? I am in always in between a shot of tequila or reading my Bible, and I mean 24/7. I just wish I wasn't alone when I am surrounded by people who supposedly know me but have no idea who I am. Clearly it is because I still can't figure out myself. I've noticed no (or just didn't notice) mention of the pain - of having these conditions - must have caused everyone else around us. Everyone one who has commented on this blog MUST have hurt or really disappointed so many others and not even realized that they had. Even the most lonely ,,, unless you simply dealing with physiological issues that keep you from seeing it. And for that matter, I truly doubt that person would be reading this website. I tried everything. Drugs, sex, rock n roll, Area 51, and of course religion. It's not about economics, COVID, blah, blah, blah... It's about fitting in... Sorry to end in a preposition, but it is simply about finding someone, some place, and fitting in... I guess what I still have is - that I am still trying to look for it... what ever that is...