Do You Feel Like You Don’t Belong Here? 4 Reasons Why It May Be a Good Thing

/, Food for thought, Introvert's World, Personal Development, Personality, Self-Improvement, Spirituality/Do You Feel Like You Don’t Belong Here? 4 Reasons Why It May Be a Good Thing

dont belong here

Do you feel like you don’t belong here, in this world and society? You will be surprised to know that it may actually be a good thing.

We grow up believing that in order to be happy, we need to belong somewhere – a society, a country, a social circle and finally, a family.

The desire to be a part of something bigger than ourselves seems to be our innate need, which probably has evolutionary roots (remember the well-known notion that human is a social animal?). As Wikipedia states, “belongingness is the human emotional need to be an accepted member of a group.”

But what happens in the case of people who don’t only lack this need but also feel that they don’t really fit in this world? Some individuals don’t simply consider themselves different from the rest – they actually have different tastes, way of thinking and priorities in life. They don’t like popular things and activities and don’t go after the goals most people pursue.

They may seem a sort of weirdos to those around them, but the truth is that there is a bright side of being a “misfit.”

Today, we will discuss four categories of people who are very likely to have a sense of detachment from the world because of their emotional and mental makeup. Moreover, it’s not a bad thing at all and is, in fact, an indication of an increased awareness and sensitivity.

1. Deep thinkers

Sadly, the society we live in is giving more and more importance to the primitive instincts and material needs. So it makes sense why individuals capable of deep thought may feel like they don’t belong here.

If you are a deep thinker, then you probably know what truly matters in life. That’s why seeing people around you chasing ephemeral goals and being interested in meaningless stuff is so disappointing. It’s not only disappointing – sometimes, it makes you wonder what you are doing here, among these people, and feel like you come from another world.

2. Old souls

Old souls often feel like they don’t belong here, especially when growing up. Being passionate about unpopular things may make others pick up on your differences and tease you for it. And this can be painful in your awkward childhood and teenage years, making you feel like a misfit who doesn’t have a place in this world.

In your adult years, this gap separating you from other people only becomes bigger. However, you find your path in life and don’t care the same about what they think about you.

3. Empaths

Empaths are so sensitive to the emotions and energy of other people that they may find it uncomfortable to be around them. If you are an empath, you know that every time you watch a news broadcast or learn something sad about someone you know, you get truly upset.

All these side effects of being an empath can also provoke a sense of detachment. And it’s no surprise – there is so much greed, cruelty and violence in today’s world that an empath may suffer, being a part of it.

4. People who experience a spiritual awakening

A spiritual awakening is a great experience that elevates you to a higher level of consciousness and turns you into a spiritually evolved being. However, it is also paired with painful feelings and experiences because fundamental changes are never easy.

Not only do you start to wonder about the existence, reconsidering your life decisions and relationships, but you may also feel detached from those around you and the world in general. It’s all because you are becoming more aware and understand things you previously turned a blind eye to.

If you feel like you don’t belong here, remember that there is nothing wrong with you. Instead of worrying about what others think and seeking their approval, try to find your passion and life purpose. And it’s fine if it doesn’t seem attractive or “cool” to most people. The point is that it should fill your life with meaning and happiness.

Did any of the above-described things ring true for you? We would love to hear your thoughts on this.

Shares
The following two tabs change content below.

Anna LeMind

Anna is the founder and lead editor of the website Learning-mind.com. She is passionate about learning new things and reflecting on thought-provoking ideas. She writes about science, psychology and other related topics. She is particularly interested in topics regarding introversion, consciousness and subconscious, perception, human mind's potential, as well as the nature of reality and the universe.




Copyright © 2018 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.

148 Comments

  1. Robin Flores May 13, 2018 at 12:01 pm - Reply

    I feel so much for everyone around me as well as for people I have never met I am filled with compassion love and forgiveness I stay very sad most of the time and feel constantly rejected even when I’ve put my all im rejected show kindness to everyone even those who are not kind in return I know I see life very differently then others also

    • Stacey June 13, 2018 at 12:30 am - Reply

      I am exactly the same. . Its like waking up 20 yrs in the future, everything seems familiar yet alien all at the same time!

  2. Makot May 17, 2018 at 7:58 am - Reply

    1,2 and 3 . This pretty much sums things up very nicely. Though I have reached the level of detachment. Working with the public all day does not help at all. It makes things more difficult. Particularly in situations where you should fit but still don’t…

  3. Renee Charbonneau May 22, 2018 at 12:13 am - Reply

    I feel very emotional with everyone and everything but I keep to myself because I can not connect with anyone…I really feel like I dont belong in this world…I dislike how we live and treat each other like everything is a game and who is better at it. Ive felt very distant from family and friends because everyone seems fake and I can’t hide it.
    I love to motivate others but for some reason I can not motivate myself.
    I feel like I am sleep walking through my life..
    Everything I do is never satisfying enough like nothing is fun..I am a very positive person on the outside but on the inside I want to scream!

    • Angela Kortright-Calo June 6, 2018 at 8:47 pm - Reply

      Wow yes! this is exactly how I feel. I feel as if I’ve been dropped into some alternate reality where everything is similar to what I know but waaay too different. I just want to go back home, or in time, or wherever things made sense.

  4. Amanda Johnson May 23, 2018 at 11:31 am - Reply

    I completely relate to 1 and 2. I think too much. I care too much. I worry too much. I run a social group and I’m a very good organiser even if I do say so myself. But I’m not making many friends and those I have made there’s still that feeling of detachment, not quite the kind of friends I’m looking for. I care about things others don’t; Animal Rights, our Environment and more and I try to do something about it. I refuse to turn my back upon some of the horrors out there because it’s too painful to see. What about the Animals and people suffering? How do they think they feel? Recently with the royal wedding I was appalled at the cost of the whole thing where there are people homeless, relying upon food banks! This is the 21st century and we have food banks! Our NHS is in trouble, we need more hospitals, yet the royal family never go without. There are people dripping in money; I hear some give to charity but it’s not enough. We are bombarded with photos of starving children in Africa; that dosn’t seem to have ever improved and the wars continue. The divide between rich and poor is ever growing, but do the people around me care? I find it very frustrating, disheartening and I feel I don’t belong. Our world is obscene.

    • Rae June 15, 2018 at 7:05 pm - Reply

      Wow you sounds just like me! I feel just the same, if only others would pull together a little, show kindness and compassion and actually help one another the world would be so different. I found myself not wanting to know anything about the royal wedding as I was saddened that so many people go without food yet so much money is spent on the royal wedding. They Royal family may indeed help charity but in my opinion they could do far far more and so they should! Every person who is blessed with money has a responsibility to help those who have very little. If only we all treat others the way we wish to be treated.

  5. Fatemeh May 27, 2018 at 11:14 pm - Reply

    Im 17 and from when i became a teenager i couldn’t understand my friends and keep up with them.i loved them deeply but i couldn’t care about all of the high school dramas.and now im losing my friends one by one and i can’t find my path for life and i think i might have depression. thanks for this article it helped a little but still i don’t know what to do with myself.

    • Khushali June 1, 2018 at 9:57 am - Reply

      Hi where are you from?
      You can reach me at [email protected], It might be healing for you.
      More power to you 🙂

    • Rae June 15, 2018 at 7:07 pm - Reply

      I too went through this, take up meditation. It’s an amazing way to find your true path. It helps you find amazing inner peace

  6. Huda May 31, 2018 at 6:51 pm - Reply

    A good post to make my day. Thanks for it. But what should one do if they want to be part of gathering but have nothing to talk? You want to be around people but when you’re there you have the urge run for your space and alone time.

  7. Yellowcanary June 2, 2018 at 9:18 am - Reply

    When I was a child, like 7 or 8, I kept saying to myself ‘ everthing is a dream, you are gonna sleep and wake up then everthing will change’. I never feel belong here. I mean, the country which I live, the family which I have also friends, my boyfriend. There is something wrong because I always feel this. Now I am 23 and this feeling still with me. I decided to travel different countries maybe I can find my place in the world 🙁

  8. Mark June 5, 2018 at 9:07 am - Reply

    I’m curious what you would recommend for someone who recognizes that the key to their happiness and self-fulfillment is taking no part of mainstream society, money, or desire to “achieve” in modern terms. After 35 years in the workplace in varied fields from manufacturing, politics, local government, customer service, management, business ownership and more, I understand that any part of modern life is a detractor not only to happiness but also to the human condition as a whole. Every aspect of money contributes to destruction and control of others. As long as governments exist, money does, as long as money does, control and destruction does. I know that all I want is a life of basics. My passion is to live a life free of impact. I cannot make money or use it without contributing to the overall problems humans face. It’s existence empowers those that do the worst – buying water “rights” to force people to buy water from them, growing crops with contaminants and carcinogens , strip mining, fracking and oil drilling, plastics production, weapons manufacturing and waging war for profits (taxes). My life purpose is to have no more than shelter, food, warmth – and I only want those things in the sense of providing them for myself at the very basic levels. Homesteading like my great-grandparents and their before them. NO material possessions have value to me, money has no value to me, nothing that requires money has value to me be it goods or services…these things have no value to me because they have no true value to living. Living a natural life is all but illegal in the US and in countries where it would be permitted, citizenship is required thanks to imaginary boundaries and borders created by a desire to control people and money. One is required to have either a degree in a needed field or several 100 thousand or more dollars to change citizenship. Even if one has those things, they could still lose all they spent their life achieving through government use of imminent domain (such as the homesteaders of Sweden losing their land to petrol companies through government force for profits) It’s a catch 22. I’m almost at the end of my rope. Years of therapists tell me I’m not off-tilt and that my issues are wholly valid, my desires are innate, and my contempt for modern life is based on a solid foundation of not only self-awareness but an awareness of how the world truly works. Even the pros say “you’re screwed -the best you can do is adapt or ignore” but that would destroy me as a person…it eats at me daily as is and while I already have as little to do with money as possible it’s not enough. My desire to find a solution is ongoing as is my desire to live a honest, proper life but the options for that happiness and fulfillment are practically non-existent. Sadly if my desire was to be a homicidal maniac or another bernie madoff, that would be doable. 🙁 Meaning and happiness are only possible for me if I can achieve those desires and know that my life has NO negative impact in ANY WAY WHATSOEVER on others. How would you suggest someone like me move forward?

    • Ben June 6, 2018 at 4:28 am - Reply

      @Mark, my God man, I’m right there with you. Definitely needed to read your views here…I don’t too often find people who think like me, and I’ve been feeling trapped lately.

      I just want to escape. I live in America, land of the free – and yet all that I ever feel like is a head of cattle, that’s been bred solely for the purpose of turning a profit for the masters. The banks, the governments, the corporations and landowners. Prices rarely ever reflect the time or cost that was required to make a product…it’s simply “how much does he need/want this, and how much will he pay?” Every little thing that I dream of doing seems to have some caveat, which requires me to do something that I don’t want to do or pay for something that I don’t think is worth the cost. I hate to be crass, but being bent over so frequently gets pretty tiring, even after just 27 years of life.

      By the way, don’t feel bad. More and more, I find myself understanding the acts of people who “go off the deep end” and perform some drastic act, like domestic terrorism or murder. I don’t think they chose the right path to what they really wanted deep down, but I understand their minds a bit…they were pushed to that extreme by a truly broken system. Funny how a man who desires destruction and death seems to find this world much more embracing than a man who wants freedom, peace and simple bliss.

      Keep trying to find freedom Mark, in whatever way you can. I think that I’ll find it one day. I know that it won’t be a “legal” lifestyle by any stretch – I’ll have to conquer a lot of fears in order to actually enjoy it. And I doubt that it will look anything like a happy life as portrayed by American media and advertising. All that I hope is that I’ll find a few others to enjoy it with.

  9. Angela June 6, 2018 at 8:53 pm - Reply

    Can relate too well to many here.
    I feel so out of place these past few years. I feel such a disconnect to soo many people. I used to love being around people. Now I can’t stand it. People don’t act right anymore. More have become too immature, hostile, and confrontational. Courtesy is all but extinct today.

    It’s exhausting feeling out of place
    I keep thinking: I just wanna go home.

  10. Jennifer L Rylands June 11, 2018 at 2:58 am - Reply

    Wow I’ve never knew bout this I mean I feel like I was born in the wrong time frame…..I’ve been feeling like i should have been living n ancient times …. Everybody hates me and plots against to my my life hell even my own mother

  11. Joody Ahmed June 14, 2018 at 11:27 am - Reply

    May I have a help advice ? I live in arabic country and lived my chilhood little bet isolated and faced alot of English stuff I even learnt how to speak read and write in English almost by my self . My father got a buisnise travel to Uk for 6 months while my mom was pregnant with me and had given birth of me there and when my family got back to our country they were facinated with Uk and talk about it alot but we couldn’t travel there again and I wished to go there all my life or just to go overseas to Eourap. When I was growing up I faced a really hard time in feeling I belong to the people or life there specialy at school and in traditional ocaion, I was the only kid who knew how to speak English but I rarly showed that, I didnt feel belong to the music . I feel I miss a thing that I dont know what is it, until now I feel like a locked up stranger and I dont know if I ever get bettet I still wish to go to uk or any English place to know if this feeling is true or not but I cant

  12. Dave Olan June 18, 2018 at 11:17 pm - Reply

    Wow! It’s a relief to know that people whose minds have not gone haywire still exist

  13. Stuart June 19, 2018 at 2:31 am - Reply

    I have just read this and you could have been writing about me. I also see there are many others who relate to this too. After 40 odd years of trying to fit in and failing miserably , I have known for at least the last 20 of my years that I’m flogging a dead horse.

    I have never been able to gel with 99% of people I have worked with or met socially, mostly due to having completely different outlooks on life .

    In a way I wish I thought and behaved like the majority, because I have never known, I don’t think, what it means to be truly happy and contented. It is hard to feel at peace in this world when you realise that very few people are living the life that was originally intended for them.

    I am currently in between jobs at the moment and wondered if anyone could name suitable employment for an individual described in the above piece. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

    To Anna who wrote this , thanks for this post, it was good to read something that made sense for a change.

  14. farhi June 24, 2018 at 1:44 am - Reply

    I feel as though I’m not from here, I feel completely detached from everything and everyone. I feel numb and disorientated. I cannot fathom why I’ve been put in this world. I just want to go back home. *big sad sigh

  15. Edwin June 30, 2018 at 4:07 am - Reply

    My spiritual resonance has cracked in half. Part of me wants to identify with MGTOWs, but the other part of me is an indifferent psychopath who misses the 1940s America where men are in control and women are barefoot in the kitchen cooking. Look at those Discovery Channel documentaries on lions and bears. Does the male lion roll over and be dominated by the female lion, no it doesn’t. If the female lion starts anything, the male lion will hurt it badly. It’s the natural order of the land and the universe. Those who don’t get it or follow it need to be removed. Female empowerment is a cancerous tumor on human civilization that will only lead to the collapse of all institutions. The reason I am a 39 year old virgin is not by choice, but by a artificially projected inhumanity on my generation that told women they have to take men’s jobs to keep up with today’s unreasonable and unsustainable cost of living. Women are walking around with that entitlement attitude like they control the men now. Either the natural order will reset itself or my days on this planet are over.

  16. Jeff July 1, 2018 at 7:59 am - Reply

    Social media is the root of all evil. It has been proven that people who don’t go outside and get sun and fresh air and exercise are depressed. Why does everyone have to be online all the time? These machines will be the death of us all someday. I say break the machines before they destroy us. I was born in 1958 and I have seen it with my own eyes; the people with the most problems are the ones who can’t disconnect from the internet. Farming and landscaping will do everyone a lot of good, and it benefits local economies in big ways. The internet is slowly choking the life out of human society and most people aren’t even aware of it.

  17. Scott July 2, 2018 at 11:32 am - Reply

    I am 19 years old. Honestly, growing up was one of the hardest things for me. I had friends but was never in the “friend circle” I never really got asked to do much from other people and when I tried to make plans things always seemed to fall short. As I started getting older 14-17 I realized that I never really related to kids my age. I prefer talking to teachers and adults about various things and oddly enough they all enjoyed talking to me. One of my biggest problems, when I am with groups or with individuals, is that I rarely can hold a conversation about just anything. I just can’t talk about something that seems unimportant or gossipy i.e; I really don’t care that Jane slept with Jack and now they work together or that someone overheard someone else who overheard….. You get my point. I talked about things of substance in my mind. Why we’re here, questions about the universe, what is the point, who are we, really? Things of that nature (as you can see for a kid of my age at that time this would oddball me without any doubt. Adults were different. I could talk to them and hold a conversation that I enjoyed. I loved that they didn’t go out of their way to gossip about somebody at school or at work but got straight down to what mattered.

    Top that off with me wanting to be in law enforcement and that virtually killed any friends I had and I felt more distant than ever. At some points in my life, I felt as if I was just a bystander in my own body – watching a highlight reel of mundane events happening one after the next. There would be some nights I would wish so badly to be taken away by -anything- and tell me that I belonged somewhere else. You see I always felt like I belonged elsewhere. I never related to anyone my age, had a thing with a girl for 2 months (which is the extent of my relationships) and that was that, had trouble with conversations and with making new friends.

    My dad who has gotten much better used to drink a lot and would always be yelling or screaming at me or my siblings for something we did. With that being the case I tended to attach myself to older male role models quickly and probably would put too much of myself out there. I had many great amazing role models who helped me through certain stuff and gave me the wisdom and knowledge to keep going. Whenever they left and they eventually did due to job changes, they were only around temporarily etc; I felt like I would lose a piece of myself and it hurt to not have that rock I had.

    Honestly if not for those few male role models I had I would probably be in a much worse place than where I am now. They guided me and reminded me that the mountain always looks unrelenting when you first begin the climb, However when you look down it was nothing more than a mere hill.

    I always wanted to be apart of something bigger than me. I did volunteer work throughout high school and started meeting people with more of my mindset which made me feel better. I did a lot through rotary, interact, churches (although I never really attended a church), local community events, and as an explorer with a law enforcement agency, I always try to put a lot of effort and time into the volunteering we do. I even received a scholarship for service above self and in my senior year received student of the year at my high school by the Freemasons. When I became of age I joined and started my path down freemasonry and after a year and a half at 19 and a half I received the degree of master mason.

    This all sounds great at the last part but even doing these things I felt like I never did enough. I felt like what I did never really mattered. My time and effort that I put into those things weren’t good enough. I am at my happiest when I am helping people and when I am not it feels as if I am wasting my time. I have been my own worst enemy in my head and some days are 100% better than others.

    Recently I have started trying to better myself too, working out, I have a job I love, I am closer than ever to finally being able to get into law enforcement and trying to get closer to the few friends I have and to my family. It is always a constant struggle to try to keep yourself happy around people. My worries shouldn’t be there’s. They have their own problems and difficulties in life so I never really talked about it except very rarely and to a very close friend.

    What I guess I am trying to say is that I feel lonely and I appreciate the reminder that I am not really alone. No matter how much I feel like I am. I apologize for the long-winded type I had here but it honestly felt good to just say something.

  18. Nick Bishop July 5, 2018 at 3:09 pm - Reply

    I can identify with all these people.

  19. Laura July 9, 2018 at 7:12 am - Reply

    The Royal Wedding was hugely important. Harry changed the narrative in England and the World. He should ein the Nobel Peace award for 2018.

    I am His(panic), and the World is very unfriendly. Worse, my script doesn’t seem to work. I look around me, and I am seeibg more and more Arian stereotypicals; the only ones able to got to school and progress. These people are getting rid of any trace of what America has stood for for 30,000 years.

  20. Gary Lee Dezern July 21, 2018 at 8:19 pm - Reply

    I feel as if I belong to all of these. Ive even gone as far as feeling that our reality is false, a picture spoon feed to us XD

Leave A Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.