I often feel like I don’t belong anywhere in this world. If you are reading this article, it probably means that you feel this way too and are looking for answers.
When you lack a sense of belonging, it can be painful. It may indicate underlying problems you’ve been ignoring all this time. Does your life lack meaning? Have you lost touch with yourself and ended up following someone else’s path? Are you surrounded by the wrong people?
Still, there is a bright side to it too. Sometimes, it happens just because you don’t resonate with today’s society and its values. Read this article if you feel that you don’t belong here, in this world and society. It might shed some light on the reasons why you feel like you don’t belong anywhere.
Even though not fitting in is not always a bad thing, it is important not to give in to feelings of detachment. When you don’t deal with them, with time, this frustration and disappointment can grow into bottled emotions and eventually evolve into depression. So what to do if you are feeling like a misfit who has no place in this world?
What to Do If I Feel Like I Don’t Belong Anywhere?
1. Remind yourself of all the kindness and beauty that exist in the world
If you find yourself strongly disappointed with what’s going on in society and the world, it makes sense why you may not feel like being a part of it. By the way, did you know that there is a word for it? When you feel deeply frustrated with all the suffering in the world but realize that you can do nothing about it, you are experiencing a state known as Weltschmerz.
Yes, you can’t change the world on your own, but you can cope with this emotional state. All it takes is to turn to the bright side, and everything does have one. With all the ugly things happening every day, there are still many examples of people who show wisdom, kindness, and intelligence. When I feel like I don’t belong anywhere, I remind myself of them.
You can read positive news and inspirational stories about real people who do remarkable acts of kindness and brave deeds. You can also study the biographies of writers, philosophers, scientists, and any other eminent people who have contributed to society.
Yes, today’s society is built on shallowness, blind consumerism, and greed, but humans still have many traits that are worth admiring. Never forget that.
2. Find your tribe
If you are feeling like you don’t belong anywhere at all, it may be that you simply didn’t find your tribe yet. And yes, finding one can be one of the most difficult things to do. You may also think that you don’t need anyone and are fine just the way you are.
However, enjoying the company of like-minded people you can have a genuine emotional connection and deep communication with is one of the greatest things that could happen to you. Even if you are an extreme introvert like I am, having a couple of such people in your life is much better than having nobody.
How do I find my tribe, you may ask? The answer is simple – follow your passion and you will.
For example, if you are an animal lover, volunteer for a local animal shelter. If you are an art fan, enroll in a painting class, or attend cultural seminars and exhibitions. These things don’t guarantee that you will find lifetime friends. However, they do give you a great opportunity to meet people with similar interests and ideals in life.
3. Reconnect with those around you
We don’t always feel like we don’t belong anywhere or generally in the world. Sometimes this detachment stems from a more particular situation where you feel alien to those around you.
If you feel like you don’t belong in your family, you should find ways to reconnect. Easier said than done, right? However, all it takes is to shift your focus in the right direction. Remember the kindness in the world we talked about before? Similarly, focus on all the positive, powerful, and beautiful traits of those around you.
Then, think about everything that unites you with your family or friends. Believe me, you can find something in common even with the people you feel totally disconnected from. Right now, you might be feeling like an alien in your own family. But they did give you many good things that have built the person you are today. Keep this in mind.
Here is a mental exercise for you to try when you feel like you don’t belong with those around you:
For example, if you feel like you don’t belong with your parents, think about all the positive personality traits you share with them. You can even make a list and write it down. Did you inherit a resilient character from your father? Or do you have a deeply sensitive nature just like your mother?
Likewise, make a list of all the talents and skills you got from your parents. Are you an analytical thinker or a highly creative person like your mom or dad? Yes, of course, you have certainly inherited bad things too, but right now, your task is to focus on the positive ones. And I’m sure that if you think about it a bit, you will find many valuable qualities.
Then, recall a few beautiful memories from your childhood. Delve into the joy and carefreeness you felt back then. Travel to the time when you didn’t have disagreements with your parents yet. All you got from them was affection and care. Feel this in all its depth. You will be surprised to see how experiencing positive emotions about the past has the power to make you happier and more grounded right now.
Family is what helps us form a sense of belonging as children. If you manage to reconnect to the people around you, it’s the first step to feeling that you belong somewhere.
4. Get closer to nature
You may feel like you don’t belong anywhere because you are repelled by the superficiality of today’s society, but you don’t have to feel this way about our beautiful planet. Besides, getting closer to Mother Nature is a great way to fight dissociation and reconnect to reality. Sometimes you feel like an outcast in the world because you have lost touch with reality.
There are simple ways to recreate your connection with nature. You can try a few grounding and mindfulness techniques.
The easiest one is to walk barefoot to experience the physical sensation of the ground under your feet. You can also stand somewhere and visualize how roots are growing out of the soles of your feet and go deep under the ground.
You can also take a walk outdoors and be present. Notice every tiniest detail about the trees, flowers, and plants you can see, smell, and hear. Sit or stand somewhere quiet and immerse into your sensations. In no time, you will realize that you do belong on this planet, no matter how you feel about society and people.
5. Find a purpose
Sometimes you feel like you don’t belong anywhere because your life lacks meaning. So discovering your purpose is one of the key ways to find your place in life and stop feeling like an alien or a misfit.
You don’t have to start big – all it takes is to find things that make you feel alive. It can be anything – even a simple hobby to spend your free time on. Or it can be a new goal that will bring excitement and fulfillment to your life. Don’t worry if the things you are passionate about seem trivial or are not popular. They do matter as long as they make you happy.
When you have something to live for, you eventually forget about this painful detachment. You start feeling that you do belong here, in this moment when you are doing something that makes your heart beat.
I Feel Like I Don’t Belong Anywhere, and It’s Fine
Here is the most important thing to remember. Never feel bad about yourself because of your struggle with a sense of belonging. When I feel like I don’t belong anywhere, I remind myself that there is nothing wrong with me. But there are many wrong things going on in our society.
So next time you feel this way, think about it in this light. Maybe you are just a different kind of person with deeper values and awareness. And it’s certainly a good thing.
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- ‘I Don’t Belong Anywhere’: What to Do If You Feel This Way - June 21, 2020
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