We grow up believing that in order to be happy, we need to belong somewhere – a society, a country, a social circle, and finally, a family.
The desire to be a part of something bigger than ourselves seems to be our innate need, which probably has evolutionary roots (remember the well-known notion that human is a social animal?). As Wikipedia states, “belongingness is the human emotional need to be an accepted member of a group.”
But what happens in the case of people who don’t only lack this need but also feel that they don’t really fit in this world? Some individuals don’t simply consider themselves different from the rest – they actually have different tastes, ways of thinking, and priorities in life. They don’t like popular things and activities and don’t go after the goals most people pursue.
They may seem a sort of weirdos to those around them, but the truth is that there is a bright side of being a “misfit.”
Today, we will discuss four categories of people who are very likely to have a sense of detachment from the world because of their emotional and mental makeup. Moreover, it’s not a bad thing at all and is, in fact, an indication of increased awareness and sensitivity.
Sadly, the society we live in is giving more and more importance to primitive instincts and material needs. So it makes sense why individuals capable of deep thought may feel like they don’t belong here.
If you are a deep thinker, then you probably know what truly matters in life. That’s why seeing people around you chasing ephemeral goals and being interested in meaningless stuff is so disappointing. It’s not only disappointing – sometimes, it makes you wonder what you are doing here, among these people, and feel like you come from another world.
Old souls often feel like they don’t belong here, especially when growing up. Being passionate about unpopular things may make others pick up on your differences and tease you for it. And this can be painful in your awkward childhood and teenage years, making you feel like a misfit who doesn’t have a place in this world.
In your adult years, this gap separating you from other people only becomes bigger. However, you find your path in life and don’t care the same about what they think about you.
Empaths are so sensitive to the emotions and energy of other people that they may find it uncomfortable to be around them. If you are an empath, you know that every time you watch a news broadcast or learn something sad about someone you know, you get truly upset.
All these side effects of being an empath can also provoke a sense of detachment. And it’s no surprise – there is so much greed, cruelty, and violence in today’s world that an empath may suffer, being a part of it.
A spiritual awakening is a great experience that elevates you to a higher level of consciousness and turns you into a spiritually evolved being. However, it is also paired with painful feelings and experiences because fundamental changes are never easy.
Not only do you start to wonder about the existence, reconsidering your life decisions and relationships, but you may also feel detached from those around you and the world in general. It’s all because you are becoming more aware and understand things you previously turned a blind eye to.
Instead of worrying about what others think and seeking their approval, try to find your passion and life purpose. And it’s fine if it doesn’t seem attractive or “cool” to most people. The point is that it should fill your life with meaning and happiness.
Did any of the above-described things ring true for you? We would love to hear your thoughts on this.
If you are feeling like a misfit, you may want to read my recent articles that provide some guidance for coping with this emotional state:
When the flood of comments came in response to this article, I realized that there were far more people who felt like they didn’t belong here, in this world and society, than I had imagined.
Inspired by this fact, I wrote the book The Power of Misfits: How to Find Your Place in a World You Don’t Fit In to help all those introverts, empaths, and deep thinkers who feel alien to modern society. If you are feeling this way and are looking for answers, you may want to check my book on Amazon.
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My situation is a bit different, but in line with this article. For me, the way we live on this planet is what makes me detached. We are so out of tune with the natural order, and have placed our own rules on life.
We don't respect life at all. Be it human, animal, or plant. We are in large centers built with concrete, steel, glass, and wood. We barely step foot in to the natural world. Being around all these rules,and systems in place is a painful slog. We have turned in to drones.
We are born, then at a young age forced in to system that teaches us to be obedient workers. Then, we go to work until we retire, and by then, we're used up, old, and broken. Barely able to enjoy the free time. We are nothing but cogs for the machine that continues to strip our natural world of all its resources. I honestly would of preferred to live in an earlier time where we were still in the tribal era of community, and teachings. This is why I don't feel like I belong here. I'm unable to live in the natural world under natural laws. I'm bound by a system that imposes itself.
I so relate to this. I fit in all four categories. Looks like there are quite a few of us who feel this way. And I agree, it's our "modern" world that separates us from nature and each other and our developmental needs. 💖🙏
I avoid arguments and sticking up for what I think is right because it's usually easier to in the short term. This comes across as people pleasing and I see it exactly as that because I am so desperate for love that I will forsake morals and values to agree with someone to please them to feel accepted but this is a sacrifice I make at the expense of diminishing my integrity and authenticity. I understand there must be a line of how much I allow people to mentally lead me at my own cost to allow new experiences in. I can not be fully hardened and not allow people to break down my views and beliefs but I also cannot be fully open to be walked all over mentally without resistance or there would be no me and i would become a follower devoid of free spirit. I avoid conflict as if I could never be right. This self imposed sea saw of sad behaviour leads me to only ever externalise other people's wants as my priority so I can fit there mould if I must to appease them to make social situations easier...but it seems like the only real human to human interactions are the ones where one's own shame and guilt and dirt are willingly brought forth to be examined and discussed between to non biased people as a lesson for all on how to come back from hell or the dark side of us. I struggle with all the competitive comedy and wit used in daily interaction s and see it largely as a way to dance for each other like a perfect little peacock, I hate this evolutionary dance we all feel like we must perform to conform to society's unnatural unwavering sense of unnending optimism at first glance. Must I face strangers with, at every first interaction a great humour and only positivity to set a first impression that you are one of the good ones...even if deep down you are shit scared of the world and believe we are destroying everything we care about with our selfish need to dissociate from the things that are too hard or scary. But the world is not a positive place to me right now and any time in the foreseeable future, so why do I feel guilt for not wanting to connect to a society that just wants to act like everything is good. We are fed lies and propaganda and are fiscally strangled to remain in hamster wheels to keep society's lights on, the dollars must keep changing hands or the world will not exist as we know it even tho money is purely a figment of our imagination and there is more than enough resources now to please the world, just a total lack of generosity or ability to evenly distribute supples. Business as usual is the only thought above scarcity of resources that sits at the forefront of my processing power. I wish I could change my glum mind or I wish I could help the world get on track with some amazing invention but every idea I have to help is overshadowed by the shear scale of the negativity on the world scale that I wonder what the point of even trying is... not to mention am i actually wanting to help with these ideas or is it my ego seeking approval and validation or do i actually see good in humanity that is worth saving. I know there is and I see it but I don't know if I fit into the future anymore with my pessimistic views. My thoughts are without potential for real help and thus feel like a curse to me now as they crowd my day-to-day and make me believe my opinion doesn't even matter, which really is a drop in the ocean.... nothing of importance. The politicians and the wealthy are the important ones, they're opinions supposedly matter more because they have hope the world will get better with they're words but their actions play out a different story. I have almost lost all hope and I hate it.
I have always found myself looking at the sky and waiting for something or someone there. It always was a feeling of homesickness to the point where it has driven me hopeless. Ignorants may call me mad, googly-eyed may call me a Starseed, however, I don't even for myself what this feeling is, what I long for! This article is a teeny bit of hope, maybe, may just be, there are answers, and I just need to look harder, or not look at all, and carry on with my life, as everyone does, "PRACTICALLY" as they like to name.
WELL I CAN SAY THIS WE ARE ORIGINALLY NOT FROM EARTH WE ARE FROM HEAVEN AND ONE THING'S FOR SURE SOMETHING DEFINIETLY DOES NOT FEEL RIGHT ON PLANET EARTH I FEEL IMPRISONED.
The modern world is trash. The rich steal from the middle class in broad daylight and people are too stupid to notice. Internet websites suppress dissent. Bad actors don't have disincentives in increasingly larger, more transient cities. Divorce and child support laws disincentivize men from creating families. Perpetual growth and consumerism is required to prop the economy up. I could go on...