We grow up believing that in order to be happy, we need to belong somewhere – a society, a country, a social circle, and finally, a family.
The desire to be a part of something bigger than ourselves seems to be our innate need, which probably has evolutionary roots (remember the well-known notion that human is a social animal?). As Wikipedia states, “belongingness is the human emotional need to be an accepted member of a group.”
But what happens in the case of people who don’t only lack this need but also feel that they don’t really fit in this world? Some individuals don’t simply consider themselves different from the rest – they actually have different tastes, ways of thinking, and priorities in life. They don’t like popular things and activities and don’t go after the goals most people pursue.
They may seem a sort of weirdos to those around them, but the truth is that there is a bright side of being a “misfit.”
Today, we will discuss four categories of people who are very likely to have a sense of detachment from the world because of their emotional and mental makeup. Moreover, it’s not a bad thing at all and is, in fact, an indication of increased awareness and sensitivity.
Sadly, the society we live in is giving more and more importance to primitive instincts and material needs. So it makes sense why individuals capable of deep thought may feel like they don’t belong here.
If you are a deep thinker, then you probably know what truly matters in life. That’s why seeing people around you chasing ephemeral goals and being interested in meaningless stuff is so disappointing. It’s not only disappointing – sometimes, it makes you wonder what you are doing here, among these people, and feel like you come from another world.
Old souls often feel like they don’t belong here, especially when growing up. Being passionate about unpopular things may make others pick up on your differences and tease you for it. And this can be painful in your awkward childhood and teenage years, making you feel like a misfit who doesn’t have a place in this world.
In your adult years, this gap separating you from other people only becomes bigger. However, you find your path in life and don’t care the same about what they think about you.
Empaths are so sensitive to the emotions and energy of other people that they may find it uncomfortable to be around them. If you are an empath, you know that every time you watch a news broadcast or learn something sad about someone you know, you get truly upset.
All these side effects of being an empath can also provoke a sense of detachment. And it’s no surprise – there is so much greed, cruelty, and violence in today’s world that an empath may suffer, being a part of it.
A spiritual awakening is a great experience that elevates you to a higher level of consciousness and turns you into a spiritually evolved being. However, it is also paired with painful feelings and experiences because fundamental changes are never easy.
Not only do you start to wonder about the existence, reconsidering your life decisions and relationships, but you may also feel detached from those around you and the world in general. It’s all because you are becoming more aware and understand things you previously turned a blind eye to.
Instead of worrying about what others think and seeking their approval, try to find your passion and life purpose. And it’s fine if it doesn’t seem attractive or “cool” to most people. The point is that it should fill your life with meaning and happiness.
Did any of the above-described things ring true for you? We would love to hear your thoughts on this.
If you are feeling like a misfit, you may want to read my recent articles that provide some guidance for coping with this emotional state:
When the flood of comments came in response to this article, I realized that there were far more people who felt like they didn’t belong here, in this world and society, than I had imagined.
Inspired by this fact, I wrote the book The Power of Misfits: How to Find Your Place in a World You Don’t Fit In to help all those introverts, empaths, and deep thinkers who feel alien to modern society. If you are feeling this way and are looking for answers, you may want to check my book on Amazon.
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Im really glad im not alone in this (i thought i was the only one) This artical is amazing i will be sending this to a couple of friends . Thank you so much .
So glad that I can finally describe this feeling in words
I identify with all of the above. I am 38 now, and this feeling is intensifying to the point of anxiety. The feeling that I don't belong here. That I am a tourist in this world. That my soul has been somehow misplaced. The feeling that I am wasting my time, like I am sitting in a waiting room anticipating my name being called. I am sure that I do not feel relationships as deeply as others. It makes me feel like a bad mother and wife. I realize that no lottery winnings or dream vacation or job promotion will make me truly happy or content. I keep having these VERY odd VERY specific coincidences, far beyond a song in your car playing that you were just humming in the house. More like studying for college, turning a page and reading a scientific theory title and an actor on tv stating the name of that scientific theory at the exact same time. It was Coulomb's Law, by the way, not something common like the big bang theory. Or drawing a Christmas ornament for your daughter to color, her recognizing the shape and stating "Oh, a Christmas ornament!" and a Christmas ornament falling off of the tree and rolling across the floor with no one around it at the EXACT same time. This stuff happens to me almost daily. Sometimes several times a day. I try to dismiss most of it but some coincidences are just too specific. It is starting to freak my family out.
I try not to watch the news or read articles because I can't let go of all of the bad in this world. I will spend hours analyzing the horrors I see and hear and find myself almost always emotionally drained. I am physically tired ALL of the time. My doctors blame it on life long hormone imbalance. I think there is much more to it. Medication cannot cure what is going on with me. It has been able to distract me from it for short periods of time but the feeling of not belonging is too strong to be repressed for long.
My question is, what do we do about it? I am so anxious for answers. The thoughts consume my mind. I feel like I am waiting to die just so I can, hopefully, finally find out why I feel the way I do. I am positive that I do not belong here. This all feels like smoke and mirrors. Just a distraction from something much more important.
I would love for like minded individuals to contact me. This feeling is so overwhelming. I am glad to see I am not alone.
Audrey,hi I read about the feelings you are experiencing,I too feel that I don't belong in this world,it is very overwhelming to the point that,I struggle too be happy,my children,and other people around me,even though I know them,i feel so out of this world,I can't even explain it's almost like your at a store,and you see all these people,that look to me like robots,all I here is a bunch of voices,even at funniest event,I feel so disconnected.i feel like I'm just going through the motions here on earth,waiting like you said just to find an answer! And waking up in the middle of the night laughing uncontrollably.like I was there in the other place so happy! Never recalling any dream I had.
Audrey, everything you said is exactly like me and made me feel so much better that i'm not alone in this. i need someone to talk to about this that i know truly understands. I hope for you to see this and write me back. more info about what i'm feeling: I've come to the conclusion that i am not depressed. for so many years i thought it was just depression and that i can get help. this is not the case. i've come to realize that the society and the world we live in today is so draining and too much for my empathetic brain to deal with. its so hard to type this because i honestly am so lost in my thoughts and feeling this constant confusion of why i'm here. things that make others so happy don't excite me. i'm longing to just zone out from this world and find actual meaning. nobody i've ever met has ever come close to understanding me. i don't even understand me. but everything hurts me and i am too just waiting for a way out. an answer to why i feel like this. to learn more about the universe and discover more of my subconsious abilities. i want to be free from this place.
Everything above relates to me too. I experience the same thing, the feelings are so deep. And I'm only 17.. coincidences also happen in my life so often that I've had to actually start writing them down. I think deeply all the time and I realize there's no one I can relate to, barely even my family. Other people don't make sense to me sometimes and I feel so disconnected and out of place all the time even when I'm by myself
People like us are different... But what does this mean or are we just suffering from diseases the "normal" people make up to make us seem like were ill?? who's to believe n what is there to believe...the meaning of life is to find what u believe... And I believe I'm different
I am only 17 too, I relate deeply to what you said. I always feel like I cant talk to anyone or if I do, I am never happy with the outcome cause people don't understand or relate. Even tried explaining to my mum and she took me to the doctors where they described me as depressed... I never feel lonely but Its a different feeling. I like being in solitude as everyone else just annoys me. Would love to talk to anyone here who feels the same as this comment section has given me a bit of faith to keep going
When I read your comment, I had to think for a minute and ask myself, did I write this? But, I did not write this, you did. It's exactly the same way that I've been feeling and get this, I'm 38 years old as well. I've always been strange, never felt like I fit in. I just come to think, I should just be by myself, because no-one understands and they all look at me like I'm nuts. It's very refreshing to see a like minded person as me.
I can relate to all of what has been said,, the thing is though that it has only been in the last 2 to 3 years for me that it has become more apparent and pronounced. I have pretty much distanced myself from all friends that I have had mainly because I just cannot stand to be around them for too long as their energy just makes me so uncomfortable and lethargic that it caused me anxiety when hearing from a friend wanting to catch up.. I can't watch TV because of the blatant brainwashing and mind numbing that they push on us people so I find myself constantly reading and trying to find a purpose. I would love to just pack up the necessities and head up to a mountain/forest and live among the nature and wildlife..
Wow you completely described me. It's getting worse and worse or better and better. I don't even know anymore. I have constant dreams also that happen just as I dreamed. It feels like a matrix and I keep seeing glitches. I've learned another language in my spare time to be ready to move my family to a country and city that I was told in many dreams to move to in order to avoid what's coming on the earth. That sums up how I don't "fit in" I constantly wonder if I'm the only one seeing the world this way and feeling like I'm an alien.
Wow! I feel like I am reading my own story reading yours... and I could not agree more in that the older I get the stronger this feeling is.
I am now 44 years old and the last 2 years have been hell, I can not describe it any other way. I am hardly able to sleep anymore and this unexplainable feeling of "not belonging" consumes my entire life. I have 4 children whom I feel I am failing on a daily basis as I no longer have the energy to get involved in anything meaningful, and just go through life with no aim, ambition, or long term plan. I am just drained. Every sad news, terrible story, human injustice, etc. hits me to the core and moves me to a waterfall of tears every time. I feel like no one gets me and am not interested anymore in maintaining or making new friendships as I don't have the patience to deal with drama, or "untrue" people. I feel alone, lonely, overwhelmed, sad, invisible, depressed, and most of all, like I do not belong in this world...
I've been feeling this way as well.
Especially today I was the mall and everyone seemed "fake".
I actually said to myself "I don't belong here"
I have a few close friends but the friendships aren't as deep as they used to be and I don't even bother with trying to have a boyfriend since they probably wouldn't even understand.
I used to self medicate to avoid it.
Lately my counselor thinks I need to take medication but my gut instinct says no.
I'm glad I'm not the only one out there that feels like this.
This is exactly how I feel, in every way. Since as far back as I can remember, from my earliest childhood days I have felt this way.
The feeling that I don't belong here amongst these strange, unreasonable, and cruel humans has always been so strong; that I am surprised that I made it this far without seeking"a way out".
I literally feel that I do not belong to the human race: They are so selfish and uncaring, and do not listen to reason; I cannot even communicate with them without dumbing myself so far down, that when I finally get out of a social situation, I feel completely exhausted.
I have always been completely different from everyone else. From the way I think, what I am into, how I do things, EVERY single thing.
If everyone was walking east, I would always be heading west.
And I have always been made fun of for my differences, and it hurts so bad I have no choice but to pretend to be like everyone else.
There is literally no one that I can talk to about this. No one.
No friend, no family member, not my fiancé. I tried, but no one understands. They just get angry at me, scared of me, or just give me a strange look like I'm crazy.
In all honesty, I am tired of this world.