Empaths are hypersensitive to the moods and motives of other people. This means they feel uncomfortable when others behave in inauthentic ways.
Because empaths are so sensitive, they can pick up subtle clues about what another person is thinking or feeling. This means they find it difficult to be around certain kinds of people.
It is hard to hide the truth from an empath because they can sense a deeper truth beyond smiles and words. When people behave in inauthentic ways, it makes empaths feel uncomfortable.
People may behave falsely for a variety of reasons: to hide their pain, to protect themselves, or in order to manipulate others. Whatever the reason, empaths find it difficult to form relationships with people who can’t, for whatever reason, be authentic.
Perhaps the people empaths find most difficult to deal with are egotistical types. People whose egos have become out of control often fail to understand or show empathy or compassion for others. Everything becomes about them.
People can become egotistical as a protection mechanism, and while empaths often feel sorry for them, they know they can’t be around this kind of person for long without becoming drained.
Empaths like to help others and have a lot of compassion for those in pain. However, egotistical people are not usually looking for help out of their situation and so it can be impossible to do anything but agree with them. They will always think they are right and won’t thank anyone for pointing out a different perspective.
Empaths are usually deep thinkers. They love to understand the human condition and feel deeply what others are feeling. For this reason, they find it extremely dull to be around superficial people.
Empaths don’t see the point in small talk. They like to get to know people properly and feel a deep connection with them. They find it hard to get this kind of connection with people who are only interested in things at a superficial level.
Again, there are many reasons why people may be superficial. They may wear a superficial mask because they lack belief in themselves and don’t want their deeper feelings to be let out for fear or ridicule and rejection.
Sometimes an empath can find a way to get beyond this mask and make a rewarding connection. But if superficial people won’t let them in, empaths can’t really see the point in maintaining the relationship.
Empaths find it very hard to be around angry and aggressive people. Even if an angry person is extremely good at hiding his or her feelings, an empath will pick up on it.
But empaths don’t just notice these emotions; they physically feel them, too. Spending time with this kind of people can leave empaths feeling shaky and distressed.
Empaths need to use techniques to protect themselves if they often have to be around this kind of person, but ultimately they should try to avoid them for the sake of their own health.
Empaths always try to see situations from the other person’s viewpoint. This is a great way to be with most people as it leads to greater understanding and better relationships.
However, manipulative people sometimes abuse the good nature of empaths. They try to take advantage of the compassion and sympathy they are shown in order to get their own needs met. And they don’t give a damn who they hurt in the process.
There is rarely any reciprocal support from these people so the empath is left drained, used and let down.
While empaths have compassion for the underlying pain that causes people to behave in manipulative ways, they need to be on their guard and protect themselves from emotional abuse.
Many people don’t show their true face to the world. They hide behind a mask for many reasons. Often it is because they lack self-belief and have poor self-esteem. Because they are so afraid of what others might think of them, they only show a limited version of themselves to the world.
Empaths have huge amounts of sympathy for this kind of person. They see and feel their pain and long to help.
Despite this, they can only help if they can get behind the mask. If they can be a safe friend for an inauthentic person to open up to, they can transform them and create a mutually beneficial relationship. But if the inauthentic person can’t or won’t let down their defenses there is little an empath can do.
Being an empath can make it difficult to be around these kinds of people. But though they may make us feel uncomfortable, there are opportunities for growth within these interactions.
At the same time, empaths do need to protect themselves against negative energies and make plenty of time to rest and restore if they are around these kinds of people for long.
What type of people do you find difficult as an empath? Share your thoughts with us in the comments.
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Oh my. All this I’m an empath talk. Who tells these people that’s what they are? Why do they feel this incredible need to fix people and point at others all the time. Literally, pointing out everything that seems ’wrong’ with others and deciding what’s best for them. It’s not healthy and often comes from a place of covert anger and it seems they have the same control issues they accuse others of having! Being less confrontational doesn’t make you the kind person. We know most of what you do for others comes with strings attached because you don’t have the guts to ask for what you want.
Great read but I don’t yet have the answer I’ve been
I’ve always struggled with people and this makes sense when I think about my Interactions. I often need a break from others and love “me” time. I get a sense of others and their energy. I think I know who my soulmate is and he’s one of my oldest friends, it never feels wrong around him.
I have the hardest time with all 5. I think... the superficial and egotistical are the hardest. I found this page looking for a reason as to why I felt discomfort from being around certain wealthy types.
As wealthy as they are, they seem the most disengenuine, while people of lower means, may have less financial security they are more genuine. Unafraid to make eye contact or share a smile.
Being around a room full of these dissatisfied people makes me anxious, like I’m different. I am well off, very well educated, I travel and write for a living. I ware nice clothes but nothing over the top attention grabbing or off putting. I am of normal attraction and take very good care of my health and appearance.
In a room of less financially secure individuals with whom I am a stranger, I am treated as though I am their superior. They are often more polite to me than they are to each other showing me a great deal of unwarranted respect. I don’t make myself out to be better, I am just me and because they are so open to me I befriend them easily... I have learned to guard myself and limit my friendliness just because I have learned which ones are the emotionally grabby types.
In a room full of strangers who are more well off I feel like I am wearing my ugly suit. And as I write this, I think I am beginning to understand why. ... I grew up poor, literally from the wrong side of the tracks. I always felt that sense of not being wealthy, not being from the right family. (Even though I love my family, I didn’t always accept them, and being poor is why) Not accepting my family and where I came from means not accepting myself.
Perhaps that is why I devoted so much time in self improvement. To make myself good enough not to feel like a stranger around people who came up wealthy. It’s also the reason I am still an avid loner, in love with solitude and perhaps why I see “them” as superficial and disingenuous. Perhaps they since a disingenuous nature in me. ...(I can fool the lower classes but I can’t fool the real thing) this is me being honest with me. This is my inner conversation for all the world to read... perhaps they can’t sense anything at all, and it’s all in my head.
This is all my insecurities bleeding out in my brain, sending crazy vibes throughout my body. Perhaps it is my own consciousness calling me out for being a Poser.
The problem is definitely not them , no one is against me. The problem is not that I am an empath feeling the void of humanity.
The problem is me. I am vain. I am insecure. I am shallow. I am prideful. I am egotistical. ... I still haven’t figured out how to grow up and stop blaming others for the way I feel... lol how silly is that. How would I feel knowing that a complete stranger blamed me because they felt insecure? Ridiculous! Absolutely Ridiculous!
I am bigger than that. I will make it my goal to be more friendly and no longer a judge of others who may seem standoffish. I have a sneaking suspicion that if I clean up my inner intentions and be more genuine than people of all walks of life will be more open, friendly and genuine toward me. And if not, than I accept that, that is ok too.
Rule number one ☝️ always question your questions. Rule number two ✌️ If you spot it, you got it. The problem is not them vs you. It’s you vs you. Rule three Analyze yourself. You can only love and receive love to the degree that you love yourself.
Love AlphaWriter
Dear Jenny and Amy,
I feel your pain because I can relate. My heart has been literally crushed. It feels like it’s been run over by a tank over and over. And I have only one son. No other children. I can sincerely say, without any disrespect intended at all, that you are blessed to have at least one child to call your own.
My mom went thru the same thing with 4 kids, myself included. But I believe it is because I am empathetic I felt her deep since of loss dispite my mind wanting to rationalize all the reasons to distance myself from her like the rest of my siblings; with whom, I have zero contact except one. I keep that relationship very limited as well. But if I did not work year after year for more than 20 years to have a relationship with my mom despite her draining victim mentality I would not be seeing her going back to school today at age 64 to get her GED.
I wouldn’t hear her say to me, it’s because of you, that I finally believed I could do it.
Talk about words that make you know all the tears you sent up to God were worth it!
My siblings will never have that. So please trust me and believe that no one is better off being selfish and bitter. Not themselves, not the world we serve. For even if we are bad servers in the world, we still are servants nonetheless.
My son has reciprocated the hurt that I caused my mom right back to me. I do not get to see him or talk to him even over the phone. I do not get to see my only grandson who is only a year old. I raised my son to be a good man, he is a a good dad. I did it for 18 years as a single mom with no help from dad or welfare on minimum wage. I sacrificed a 4.0 in my attempt to get my own degree to save him from turning to gangs... long story but suffice it to say, that even though I could not give him much financially, I did right by him, as my parents did for me.
But for now, it means nothing. For now. God has heard my tears and I will hear words someday that say, mommy it was because of you, that I am ok today. And trust me, my heart is breaking as I write this. 😢
All I can say is mommies never give up. We stand in faith for the day that our loved ones return “home”.
My heart is with you.
Love Alpha Writer