Empaths are hypersensitive to the moods and motives of other people. This means they feel uncomfortable when others behave in inauthentic ways.
Because empaths are so sensitive, they can pick up subtle clues about what another person is thinking or feeling. This means they find it difficult to be around certain kinds of people. It is hard to hide the truth from an empath because they can sense a deeper truth beyond smiles and words. When people behave in inauthentic ways, it makes empaths feel uncomfortable.
People may behave falsely for a variety of reasons: to hide their pain, to protect themselves, or in order to manipulate others. Whatever the reason, empaths find it difficult to form relationships with people who can’t, for whatever reason, be authentic.
Here are 5 types of people that empaths feel uncomfortable around.
1. Egocentric People
Perhaps the people empaths find most difficult to deal with are egotistical types. People whose egos have become out of control often fail to understand or show empathy or compassion for others. Everything becomes about them. People can become egotistical as a protection mechanism, and while empaths often feel sorry for them, they know they can’t be around this kind of person for long without becoming drained.
Empaths like to help others and have a lot of compassion for those in pain. However, egotistical people are not usually looking for help out of their situation and so it can be impossible to do anything but agree with them. They will always think they are right and won’t thank anyone for pointing out a different perspective.
2. Superficial People
Empaths are usually deep thinkers. They love to understand the human condition and feel deeply what others are feeling. For this reason, they find it extremely dull to be around superficial people.
Empaths don’t see the point in small talk. They like to get to know people properly and feel a deep connection with them. They find it hard to get this kind of connection with people who are only interested in things at a superficial level.
Again, there are many reasons why people may be superficial. They may wear a superficial mask because they lack belief in themselves and don’t want their deeper feelings to be let out for fear or ridicule and rejection. Sometimes an empath can find a way to get beyond this mask and make a rewarding connection. But if superficial people won’t let them in, empaths can’t really see the point in maintaining the relationship.
3. Aggressive People
Empaths find it very hard to be around angry and aggressive people. Even if an angry person is extremely good at hiding his or her feelings, an empath will pick up on it. But empaths don’t just notice these emotions; they physically feel them, too. Spending time with this kind of people can leave empaths feeling shaky and distressed.
Empaths need to use techniques to protect themselves if they often have to be around this kind of person, but ultimately they should try to avoid them for the sake of their own health.
4. Manipulative People
Empaths always try to see situations from the other person’s viewpoint. This is a great way to be with most people as it leads to greater understanding and better relationships.
However, manipulative people sometimes abuse the good nature of empaths. They try to take advantage of the compassion and sympathy they are shown in order to get their own needs met. And they don’t give a damn who they hurt in the process.
There is rarely any reciprocal support from these people so the empath is left drained, used and let down. While empaths have compassion for the underlying pain that causes people to behave in manipulative ways, they need to be on their guard and protect themselves from emotional abuse.
5. Inauthentic People
Many people don’t show their true face to the world. They hide behind a mask for many reasons. Often it is because they lack self-belief and have poor self-esteem. Because they are so afraid of what others might think of them, they only show a limited version of themselves to the world.
Empaths have huge amounts of sympathy for this kind of person. They see and feel their pain and long to help.
Despite this, they can only help if they can get behind the mask. If they can be a safe friend for an inauthentic person to open up to, they can transform them and create a mutually beneficial relationship. But if the inauthentic person can’t or won’t let down their defenses there is little an empath can do.
Being an empath can make it difficult to be around these kinds of people. But though they may make us feel uncomfortable, there are opportunities for growth within these interactions.
At the same time, empaths do need to protect themselves against negative energies and make plenty of time to rest and restore if they are around these kinds of people for long.
What type of people do you find difficult as an empath? Share your thoughts with us in the comments.
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This Post Has 30 Comments
have my own issues mentally but im so screwed up idk which i m but iknow i have played afew, but just about empaths see i may have a liytttle empathy or maybe i am an empath idk i changed to b who i needed to b n i find the empaths are the hard ppl to deal with as well for their own reasons biggest being like my litle broth will bring up a story that her and his boyfriend who was an apt caretaker 4 a few buildings, n they found a man dead not a friend but my brotherhad met him 20 yrs l8r n he will still bring it up n cry n it just seems so fake n retarded to me so what does that say about me.
The manipulative type of people are the most difficult for me to deal with because they are the controlling type. The unauthentic some are flexible & willing to bend. The manipulative will do just that, manipulate from every angle without a care in the world as long as it works to their advantages.
Take control of your own life & always remember that no matter how much we care & love others we must always care & love ourselves first & foremost.
Being an empath I think people underestimate and perceive us as weak. I don’t like manipulative or controlling people I get a sick unsettling feeling and I always can sense when being spoken about or lied to. Especially when boundaries are crossed this to me shows no respect. It’s quite off putting.
Coming from someone with disabilities, I definitely think these are the 5 kinds of people I would definitely feel uncomfortable being around.
Feel the need to confront or flee from people whose motive behind things they do or say points to none other than: CONTROL FREAK! or people on a power trip….. pick up on these qualities easily & am repelled by it
You know how I got here? I Googled “i like being uncomfortable around people” and it’s true. I’m alone 95% of the time so that’s where my comfort zone is. And I’m a highly inauthentic person, I only let cracks of who I am out through the internet, anonymously ofcourse. I have 0 friends and regularly Google the word “girlfriend”. But I’m not an empath, I leave my feelings at home when I go outside. Am I a zombie? Maybe. Am I happy? Nope. Am I unhappy? Nope. I just am.
Well, that was an extremely authentic and honest thing to say. I appreciated the honesty. I am an empath and I get very drained around people in general. It seems to have gotten worse over the years. People are very much like yourself everywhere. Social media, societal pressures, fear of rejection, or possibly just not feeling good enough as a whole has seemed to taken its toll on so many. I am not saying this is you. It was just refreshing hearing your words of true honesty. I wish more people would take this route in normal everyday life. Thank you for sharig.
great article exactly what i was looking for. thank u
Very true and a great and pretty accurate article! Thank you for sharing. Explains why I have to steer clear of well, pretty much of those kind of people even though I know they need help. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink.
I believe I am an Empath. I feel other people’s physical pain, emotional pain, and a great deal of embarrassment for them and myself when something embarrassing happens. My biggest challenge is that my oldest daughter is a master manipulator. She has been since she hit her teen years. But she also know that I feel what I feel and uses that to her advantage. That in turn makes me feel like a door mat and also strains my relationship with my husband(he is her step father) because he only sees the bad that she does and does not at all understand what I FEEL. She lives on her own with her bf and their daughter so I can keep some degree of separation but mentally and emotionally it drains me. I get irritated when people I’m close too don’t share the same level of compassion for other humans as I do. I don’t understand how anyone can hurt another person and not feel an ounce of guilt. I put myself in the other person’s shoes no matter what the situation is and go from there. I don’t know any other way. I wish I saw this as a gift or a blessing instead of the hellish nightmare that wreaks havoc on my mind, body, spirit, and my soul. 😢
As empaths we need daily self care to keep our guards/protection up for those who try to break us. Have you tried grounding, it’s something us empaths should do daily, if not multiple times a day.. if your unaware of what this is, google how to ground ourselves.. hope this helps!
Blessings, love and light to all,
I understand how you feel exactly, the weight of the world is on our shoulders, and somehow, only my youngest daughter has the same issue, and although it can feel like such a burden, she is only 9 and I have been aware she was an empath since she was 6 I think, when I was asking her and her stepsister what they would wish for if rhey had only one wish, and while he stepsister said toys or money, something like that, my daughter said her wish would be “that everyone in the world would never fight again, and that way everyone would be happy.” Just when my older daughters had all made me feel like a complete failure as a parent, my youngest wished for world peace. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard. My older 3 daughters have a stepmom they allowed to manipulate them to leave me and their sister. I fear they will become manipulators too. I have often wondered if it will make their lives easier, not caring or feeling the pain of others, and I even feel guilty wishing they were empaths because they would not have left us, but it may make their life easier to become like the majority. Even though they left us, and are completely stokholmed and mean at this point, I hurt when they hurt, i do not have to know what they are going through, I can feel their pain when they are hurting, but I feel them slipping away from me now. I fear this means they are numbing themselves, hardening their hearts in a malevolent world without anyone who actually cares for them, alone, my greatest fear is them ever feeling as alone as I have felt at times the lasts 5 years since they left. It is so exhausting loving them so much and knowing they do not love me back. Seeing right through every manipulation they were victims to and realizing that they bought it all, not half-heartedly, but entirely. Everything I assumed they saw through, that they acted like they saw througn, and I was to busy to slow down and understand what was happening in their minds, what they were being trained to feel, when they were trained to hate me. Manipulation is something I am only just learning about, yeah, i am turning 40 next month and the entire concept of people who can say and act a certain way, just to accheive a desired outcome, no matter the harm they cause or the lies they tell or who they destroy or to purposefully destroy, it all creates a sort of cognitive dissonence in me. The way it stands out to me like they were bad actors from a soap opera and the rest of the audience seems as enthralled as if they are watching an oscar-winning performance, yet when I say something genuine the manipulator can then turn it around on me like I am trying to manipulate, with no ill intent even possible, just to make me seem dishonest, and further discredit my character. It is like being stuck in the twilight zone. Like noone understands LOVE anymore, like the very definition has changed, which it really has comparing the biblical definition to the webster definition, but in the bible it is all right there spelled out in front of you, and even the most devout Christian seems suddenly oblivious of the concept. Judging and demanding control, conditions without end, and noone seems to notice how wrong it all is. Being an empath feels like we are on the verge of extinction, like evolution has declared us week and is exterminating the remainder in favor of a world full of self-serving, emotionless zombies, that will cut the throat of their neighbor for a better parking space. It makes you feel utterly alone. Trying to describe how you feel to nonempaths just sounds self-righteous, because somewhere in them, they still know right and wrong, when you are just trying to be honest about the way your brain works on overdrive, not trying to say it makes you any better than them, just different.
Oh my. All this I’m an empath talk. Who tells these people that’s what they are? Why do they feel this incredible need to fix people and point at others all the time. Literally, pointing out everything that seems ’wrong’ with others and deciding what’s best for them. It’s not healthy and often comes from a place of covert anger and it seems they have the same control issues they accuse others of having! Being less confrontational doesn’t make you the kind person. We know most of what you do for others comes with strings attached because you don’t have the guts to ask for what you want.
Great read but I don’t yet have the answer I’ve been
I’ve always struggled with people and this makes sense when I think about my Interactions. I often need a break from others and love “me” time. I get a sense of others and their energy. I think I know who my soulmate is and he’s one of my oldest friends, it never feels wrong around him.
I have the hardest time with all 5. I think… the superficial and egotistical are the hardest. I found this page looking for a reason as to why I felt discomfort from being around certain wealthy types.
As wealthy as they are, they seem the most disengenuine, while people of lower means, may have less financial security they are more genuine. Unafraid to make eye contact or share a smile.
Being around a room full of these dissatisfied people makes me anxious, like I’m different. I am well off, very well educated, I travel and write for a living. I ware nice clothes but nothing over the top attention grabbing or off putting. I am of normal attraction and take very good care of my health and appearance.
In a room of less financially secure individuals with whom I am a stranger, I am treated as though I am their superior. They are often more polite to me than they are to each other showing me a great deal of unwarranted respect. I don’t make myself out to be better, I am just me and because they are so open to me I befriend them easily… I have learned to guard myself and limit my friendliness just because I have learned which ones are the emotionally grabby types.
In a room full of strangers who are more well off I feel like I am wearing my ugly suit. And as I write this, I think I am beginning to understand why. … I grew up poor, literally from the wrong side of the tracks. I always felt that sense of not being wealthy, not being from the right family. (Even though I love my family, I didn’t always accept them, and being poor is why) Not accepting my family and where I came from means not accepting myself.
Perhaps that is why I devoted so much time in self improvement. To make myself good enough not to feel like a stranger around people who came up wealthy. It’s also the reason I am still an avid loner, in love with solitude and perhaps why I see “them” as superficial and disingenuous. Perhaps they since a disingenuous nature in me. …(I can fool the lower classes but I can’t fool the real thing) this is me being honest with me. This is my inner conversation for all the world to read… perhaps they can’t sense anything at all, and it’s all in my head.
This is all my insecurities bleeding out in my brain, sending crazy vibes throughout my body. Perhaps it is my own consciousness calling me out for being a Poser.
The problem is definitely not them , no one is against me. The problem is not that I am an empath feeling the void of humanity.
The problem is me. I am vain. I am insecure. I am shallow. I am prideful. I am egotistical. … I still haven’t figured out how to grow up and stop blaming others for the way I feel… lol how silly is that. How would I feel knowing that a complete stranger blamed me because they felt insecure? Ridiculous! Absolutely Ridiculous!
I am bigger than that. I will make it my goal to be more friendly and no longer a judge of others who may seem standoffish. I have a sneaking suspicion that if I clean up my inner intentions and be more genuine than people of all walks of life will be more open, friendly and genuine toward me. And if not, than I accept that, that is ok too.
Rule number one ☝️ always question your questions. Rule number two ✌️ If you spot it, you got it. The problem is not them vs you. It’s you vs you. Rule three Analyze yourself. You can only love and receive love to the degree that you love yourself.
Dear Jenny and Amy,
I feel your pain because I can relate. My heart has been literally crushed. It feels like it’s been run over by a tank over and over. And I have only one son. No other children. I can sincerely say, without any disrespect intended at all, that you are blessed to have at least one child to call your own.
My mom went thru the same thing with 4 kids, myself included. But I believe it is because I am empathetic I felt her deep since of loss dispite my mind wanting to rationalize all the reasons to distance myself from her like the rest of my siblings; with whom, I have zero contact except one. I keep that relationship very limited as well. But if I did not work year after year for more than 20 years to have a relationship with my mom despite her draining victim mentality I would not be seeing her going back to school today at age 64 to get her GED.
I wouldn’t hear her say to me, it’s because of you, that I finally believed I could do it.
Talk about words that make you know all the tears you sent up to God were worth it!
My siblings will never have that. So please trust me and believe that no one is better off being selfish and bitter. Not themselves, not the world we serve. For even if we are bad servers in the world, we still are servants nonetheless.
My son has reciprocated the hurt that I caused my mom right back to me. I do not get to see him or talk to him even over the phone. I do not get to see my only grandson who is only a year old. I raised my son to be a good man, he is a a good dad. I did it for 18 years as a single mom with no help from dad or welfare on minimum wage. I sacrificed a 4.0 in my attempt to get my own degree to save him from turning to gangs… long story but suffice it to say, that even though I could not give him much financially, I did right by him, as my parents did for me.
But for now, it means nothing. For now. God has heard my tears and I will hear words someday that say, mommy it was because of you, that I am ok today. And trust me, my heart is breaking as I write this. 😢
All I can say is mommies never give up. We stand in faith for the day that our loved ones return “home”.
My heart is with you.
Love Alpha Writer
This is so accurate I’m honestly shocked! I couldn’t really put it all in words but this is 100% accurate and it kinda shines some light on identifying it specifically! Love this so much❤️ Have a great day😁
Well…this explains so much…
The way I see it, simply, is that I can only deal with people when they are being authentic. I’m not at all sure if it has anything to do with my empathy or not. For me, I’m just tired of the social game. I want to be surrounded only by honesty, integrity, and humility. My choice.
So what does it say about me that I like being around types on the list?
This describes me to a T. I have difficulty with all of the aforementioned personality types. I am extremely turned off by manipulative people, egotistical people, aggressive people, disingenuous people, etc. I acknowledge that I have this issue, and I also acknowledge that it is held me back in my personal and professional life.
I don’t know if this is an empath thing, but I feel horrible around people who have no emotions, are apathetic, lack feeling or passion, etc. The lack of vitality in others drains me. I feel way better when I’m not around them and I can feel. For some reason I can’t feel around them. I feel like my throat tightens up and my breath becomes shallow. My ability to enjoy things and live in the moment goes away. I don’t know how to tune them out so that I am not affected by them.
Wow. Short article but this has made so much sense as to why I have this anxiety around certain person.
Not sure if it’s 2 or 5 (maybe both) but it makes sense, when I talk to this person, I feel like I’m not talking to them but this “persona” that they want people to see them as.
It’s not their fault they’re that way and I know whatever had happened in their life probably shaped them in that way… I would like to be able to just get on with that “persona” and ignore that there is this person underneath.
I get distressed seeing unkind people. And angry people make me furious too.
I live with inauthentic people, and they are my family. I as possible as i can have activities outside so i don’t stay at home for long time and i can go home at night so they are sleep already. But not always i have activities outside so i go home early. Is it okay to just live with my uncomfortable feeling that can’t be avoid or will it be harmful to me if this feeling occur almost everyday, like being dead inside or something? I’m worried about what would happen. And sorry for the bad english cause it’s not my primary language 🙂
Any advice in handling these personalities??
My world is getting smaller and smaller as an Empath.
I am loud introvert and an empath person even though I discover things lately I remember the those things are my nature. To everyone who is empath I need your advice and help in developing my adolescence stage so I can reach more people to serve. Thank you.
Empaths are nothing else but needy cowards.
They will be nice towards the stronger and louder, yet demanding towards the weaker and polite.
Terrible, absolutely terrible people. It’s a good thing that most of them are not ashamed of their behavior and openly brag about it.
I’m not sure what is going on with me. Im going to give a couple of examples. I met a young woman while visiting my boyfriend at his house. She just showed up. She explained that my boyfriend was like a brother to her and he grew up with her father. Before she told me this and was attempting to connect with me through conversation I felt an ugly negative feeling in the center of my chest. I felt like I didn’t want to communicate with her. She wasn’t rude or impolite at all. But, I couldn’t get over wanting to leave her presence. I told my boyfriend later that I had the distinct feeling that something was going to happen with this girl. Something major. And I warned him to please pay attention to what I was telling him and also to beware of her, because I felt so strongly about it. Soon afterwards she was spiraling into drug addiction, which led her to prostitution, and I discovered her on a porn sight by accident. I told my boyfriend that I saw her death. And I begged him to tell her mother so that maybe she could make it out of her lifestyle alive. I pleaded with several people who knew her to tell her mother. They wouldn’t. She ended up in the hospital with MRSA. Her organs were failing. But, she came out of it. My boyfriend shunned me the whole time she was in the hospital and right after she got out. She went right back to what she was doing before. She’s in rehab now. Thank God. But, she needs heart surgery. There is so much more to her story. But, I can’t understand how I knew just from being in her presence that something was sooo off. And that I saw her death. Can anyone please explain what it is that I experienced. I have had several other similar experiences about things to come in my own life and other people’s. When it happens I am in disbelief and stunned.