Being born gifted seems like a lucky break. However, there are problems that come with these talents that can make it hard for gifted people to be truly happy.
History gives us many examples of gifted people who were often unhappy. From statespersons such as Abraham Lincoln and Winston Churchill to writers such as Virginia Wolf and Charles Dickens. These gifted individuals seem to have had everything going for them, yet many were deeply depressed. Apparently, being gifted has a downside.
Many talented people spend a lot of time in their own heads. They analyze everything to the Nth degree, which can be mentally draining. It can also lead to a lot of procrastination because the talented individual finds it hard to choose between a variety of options.
Thus, gifted people find it hard to take action and may feel they are failing to put their talents to good use.
Closely related to this problem of overthinking is the fact that talented people also tend to worry more. Interviewing students on campus about various topics of discussion, Alexander Penney at MacEwan University in Canada found that those with a higher IQ felt more anxiety. Penney found that the gifted students tended to worry more about their past actions and conversations than those of more average intelligence.
Gifted people believe in their own ideas and find it difficult to support ideas they find less innovative. This can make it hard for gifted individuals to come to a consensus when working with others. In addition, others may fail to understand the ideas of the most talented and prefer to take more conventional approaches.
Another factor is that gifted people are often less interested in conventional rewards systems. For them, ideas and creativity are more important than meeting deadlines or targets.
Gifted people need a lot of mental stimulation to keep them interested in a subject. They can easily become bored and frustrated with mundane tasks. They can find it hard to stay focused, especially if they do not see any real meaning or benefit in what they are being required to do.
Others may also find them difficult to work with because their high energy and flood of ideas can be difficult to follow.
Some gifted people are extremely sensitive. They can also be empathetic to the point that others hesitate to share problems with them. These gifted adults face the difficult task of learning to protect themselves emotionally while still remaining open to others.
Highly talented people are also sensitive to criticism. Unfortunately, they may face criticism often, due to others’ misunderstandings of their ideas. In the long term, this can lead to a lowering of self-esteem and increased unhappiness.
Gifted people are usually highly perceptive and this can cause problems in working with others. Often the gifted person can see when others are manipulating them. The perception of the gifted individual makes it easy for them to see through fake motivations.
The dilemma of the gifted adult is whether to hide their insights and respond superficially in a socially acceptable way or to use their perceptions and risk rejection. In addition, others may feel threatened by the gifted person’s perceptions and become defensive and hostile.
Gifted people often set themselves, and others, very high standards. This can lead to overwork and exhaustion. It can also affect their relationships with others who find their high standards too demanding.
Talented individuals often have big goals and look for a purpose and meaning behind everything they do. This can mean they are unable to slow down and enjoy life, which eventually leads to burnout and unhappiness.
Gifted individuals often have deep and complex ideas that others find it hard to understand. This can mean it is hard for gifted individuals to find people they relate to at a deeper level. Talented individuals find it hard to maintain relationships that are on a superficial level. If they fail to find deep and meaningful relationships, they can end up feeling very alone.
So being gifted is not as easy as it may first appear. However, gifted individuals can be happy. They just have to find the work and relationships that suit their deeper thoughts and insights. Gifted individuals can also become happier if they work on overcoming their perfectionist traits and learn to relax and let go a little more often.
If you are a gifted person who has struggled in any way, please share your insights with us.
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Every one of these applies too me, but to the other people that do have this, learn to let everything go and move with the stream of life. In areas where you fall short, mentally upgrade and evolve your psyche.
Thanks everyone! Gifted people can easily simplify very complex things and they see the hidden simplicity in many things, thus their perception of reality is way beyond the shallow perception of mediocre folks. Do not generalize that gifted people overthink things. That statement is somewhat judgemental from the perspective of gifted people since we do not overthink things: our mode of thinking can just be completely different and superb compared with mediocre pips. Moreover, we do not always worry more: we can even care less in some situations. What's the point of worrying about mediocrity and conformity if this society needs the help of specialized gifted people in order to ameliorate the current status of our society and the whole world in general especially during Pandemic. It may be hard for gifted people to conform, but most of the time, they have no choice but to conform in order to thrive and "fit in" society. Everyone longs for meaningful relationships and I hope that we will be able to manage and enjoy our relationships and make them truly meaningful during this Pandemic. Thanks for reading. God bless you.
Hi Kristie, thank you for this article. I was identified as highly gifted when I was 8 and have never fit in. I always felt I had to either hide my true self, opinions and insights or defend my opinions, as no one ever “got” me. Almost to the point of feeling that something is wrong with me and leading me to distance myself from others. Reading this article was in many ways like looking in the mirror.
Fascinating read - applies to a lot of people. Of course, there are the exceptions, of which I know several:
Very gifted but could care less about anything. Coasting through life, definitely not overthinking things. In these few instances, being gifted led to laziness and lack of effort as opposed to the reverse. May end up holding them back in the game of life. Even the best athletes know that being born talented only gets one so far and endless practice and hard work pushes one over the top.
Best of luck to all, in any event.
This is me, too—all 8. I am an artist. It has been a difficult life and I still struggle daily. I have trouble relating to other people, and they to me. I am probably too introspective and am currently making more of an effort to improve by trying to look at things from other people’s points of view and being helpful. Are there any good books for people like me?
https://powerofmisfits.com/book-the-power-of-misfits/
Hope you find this useful!