7 Confessions of an INTP Female

Published by
Anna LeMind, B.A.

INTP personality type is one of the rarest, making just 3% of the population. This means that an INTP female is literally an endangered species, with 1%.

What makes women with INTP type so rare? Probably, a set of unusual personality traits and quirks, most of which are not typical of women. If you ever happen to meet an INTP female, you’d better forget about gender stereotypes as she will be nothing like the society’s image of how a woman should be.

Here are some of the quirky traits and perceptions which will only ring true for a woman with INTP personality type:

1. We don’t care about looks as much as most women do

Most women follow certain self-care and beauty routines every day to look more attractive. Washing your hair, doing some hair styling and applying makeup are sacred rituals for any woman. However, an INTP female may find it difficult to stick with these daily self-care activities. I’m not saying that we shower once a month or never make up our face – we are just not so concerned with our physical appearance.

INTPs, both men and women, tend to be more focused on the things which are beyond the material side of existence. For this reason, it just doesn’t make sense for us to spend hours of our time for the sake of looking better. We’d better read an interesting book or immerse in an inner dialogue on a meaningful topic.

2. We don’t like girly stuff and we struggle to make friends with other women

Some men think that all women enjoy things like shopping, manicure and reading fashion magazines. Well, it’s certainly not the case with female INTPs. We are just not interested in this stuff and are bored to spend our time and energy on it, for the reasons described in the previous point. This also makes it difficult for us to relate to other women, especially those who love talking about nails, celebrities and clothes.

But it’s not only about interests – we struggle to make friends with other women simply because our way of thinking is different. Sometimes it feels that we can easier relate to men than to women because we highly rely on logical thinking (IN(T)P stands for thinking). So all those jokes about the “women’s logic” are certainly not about female INTPs.

3. We are really terrible housewives

Housekeeping and cooking are certainly not our cup of tea, which is another way an INTP female breaks gender stereotypes. INTP is an example of chaotic mind, so anything that has to do with putting things into order is not our thing. So if you are a man who seeks a perfect housewife who will cook and clean, be sure that a relationship with an INTP female is not going to work.

This is mainly caused by the traits discussed in the first point – anything about the material side of life is not of great interest for INTPs. As long as we have something great to occupy our mind with, we just don’t notice that mess in the room and it doesn’t bother us at all.

Another reason why women with INTP personality are such bad housewives is that we are incredibly impractical. According to the Myers–Briggs Type Indicator, there are sensing and intuitive types. The first ones have pretty good practical skills while the latter ones (I(N)TP stands for intuition) are better at working with theoretical concepts.

This basically means that we would find it easier to solve a mathematical equation (if we are math geeks, of course) than to choose the right fabric softener for our washing machine. Sometimes, these kinds of mundane tasks make us feel completely incapable and helpless.

4. We are useless at social relations

This lack of practical thinking also influences our ability to engage in social interaction. INTPs are some of the most socially awkward and quirky personalities who seem to lack any social skills.

It doesn’t mean that we hate people and don’t like to be involved in an interesting discussion though. We just don’t do well with superficial connections which are based solely on the social obligation. And we absolutely can’t stand small talk.

That’s why an INTP female may be perceived as arrogant or weird by the people she doesn’t feel connected to.

5. Lovey-dovey stuff is not for us

Most women adore flowers, cute gifts and other expressions of love in its romantic sense. But not the INTP ones. We tend to look for the essence of things, so more superficial expressions of affection like giving teddy bears or calling sweet names don’t touch us.

What really touches us though is to feel understood and appreciated for our personality and intellect. For an INTP female, there is nothing better than to have a deep conversation about meaningful things with her significant other.

6. We highly value independence and healthy boundaries

Independence in any sphere of life is one of the highest priorities for an INTP. For this reason, people with this personality type rarely work in office jobs or public/military service. So it’s highly unlikely to see an INTP female working as a personal assistant or a client manager.

The same is true for relationships – an INTP needs healthy boundaries and a certain degree of freedom. This personality type also tends to be highly reserved (INTP stands for introversion), so we need pretty much time to stay alone with our thoughts.

That’s why an INTP female will never tolerate possessive behaviors in a relationship. She’d better be alone than with a man who tells her what to do or where to or not to go.

7. We struggle with starting a family

Since this personality type tends to highly rely on independence and needs a personal space, starting a family can be a great challenge for an INTP female. Even if we are lucky to have a great man in our life, the idea of having children really frightens us. Because in this case, we will have to sacrifice so many things that are essential for us – privacy, alone time, personal freedom. And we will also have to face so many mundane problems which accompany the upbringing of kids.

The truth is that INTPs rarely make great parents because we fail to devote ourselves to our children as well as give them the necessary emotional support. So an INTP female is very likely to have fears and doubts about her ability to become a good mother.

As you see from the above, women with INTP personality type bash so many gender stereotypes about how a woman should be, think and behave. We certainly don’t look like the image of a perfect woman the society wants us to strive for.

Do you know anyone with these characteristics or are you an INTP female yourself? If you are unsure, you can check out the detailed description of the Myers-Briggs personality types to find out which type resonates with you most of all.

Please feel free to share your experiences in the comments below.

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  • There are some truths here but also quite a few stereotypes. For example, I'm an INTP woman, and while I don't enjoy housework, I know how to bake a mean pie and wash my own clothes. (Sheesh!) And while it's true I don't want to be bothered putting on make-up every time I leave the house, I've always liked experimenting with different make-up and hairstyles and dressing up for an evening out. As for romance, I love it! No, I'm not that impressed by chocolates and a teddy bear, but if a guy does something heartfelt like write me a song or take me to a special place that has significance for the two of us or surprise me with a unique gift that he knows I've been wanting, that totally melts my heart because I can tell there was real thought and effort behind it. I love it when a guy verbally expresses his love and devotion (as long as it's not too cliche), and I enjoy romance novels, romantic movies, and so on (as long as, again, they're not too cliche).

    What a lot of people don't realize is that there are different "flavors" of INTPs. Personally, I think these flavors correspond with Enneagram types. A lot of the stereotypes mentioned in this article would seem to fit Enneagram 5w6 or 6w5 INTPs, but I'm an Enneagram 5w4, and we're known to be more interested in aesthetics and somewhat more comfortable with emotion.

    Finally, I'm downright offended by the blanket statement that "INTPs rarely make great parents." What a terribly unfair, narrow-minded, judgmental thing to say! Any personality type can make a great parent if they are mature and balanced, and any type can make a bad parent if they're not. I've heard a number of INTPs say that they love being parents, and I've heard a number of children of INTPs say that they're so glad they had an INTP mom or dad. The strengths of an INTP aren't the same as, say, those of an ISFJ, but a calm, rational nature, love of learning, and childlike playfulness are excellent traits to share with and pass on to a child.

  • I'm an INTx woman and only N.6 and 7 apply in my personal case.

    I do cook super well, My home is super clean and tidy, I like Indian Masala/fluffy-funny-rom films, I take care of my appearance (I DESIGN my own looks, especially my hair), I like interesting gifts/quirky items (they can be cute-artsy!) and I have NO PROBLEM talking nails/home design/gardening with other women (usually because my personal projects involve those).

    I suspect the INTP woman described in this article is a typical Western one, because as an INTx woman who grew up in the 3rd World during the 90s, I just COULDN'T avoid learning Home/Housekeeping/Social skills and DIY, even though I had a computer available at home and LOVED books :).

    Being an INTx does not exclude having strong "sensor-like" preoccupations and habits.
    And yes, sometimes the cultural differences BLOW UP when you look at the specific behaviours of a type. Is it any wonder ethnic minority INTx feel alienated from these online 'INTx community'?

  • Well, this was at points pretty accurate... however, I've got a more laid back view of the "feminine" things... If i like something, i do it. Gender roles be damned. Make up and pretty clotes are fun and great ways of expression. Sure, gossip and chit-chat bores the hell out of me... And im awesome at cooking and very handy. However, i hate domestic activities.
    Spot on about the kids though... Parasites thatd steal my independence and calm...
    Oh and im enneagram 9w1... So I'm pretty odd even for the INTP type.

  • I identified strongly with all points except the parenting one. Because of my intense drive to understand and learn, I have found an amazing degree of satisfaction in learning and understanding the uniqueness of my children. I am spontaneous, fun, intense, playful, geeky, and awkward with them, and I think I’ve done a great job so far. Because I love to learn, I taught them at home for a few early years. Our home is chaotic and full of dirty laundry, but we laugh and discuss and research and play Zelda together.

    My husband is also and INTP and he does the cooking. :) We’ve been married for 18 years. I’m a reading specialist and he’s a data analyst.

  • Women did not start shaving their legs until nylon was rationed in WWII. Stupid #*!% war, because, oh what a terrible waste of time and energy (same with wars). Anyway, I am XX INTP and was just looking around to see what it's like for other XX INTPs. I thought this article was really pretty good. She's right about me. I was afraid to have children but I thought it was because of baggage related to having had a schizophrenic mother. I'll have to think on this new idea some, I digress... I think the author has a point, Einstein was NOT a good parent. We can all work towards what we want to be, in my case, and more than anything else, I want to be a good parent. I don't want to be like my mother or my father (psychiatrist and INTJ). When I see Einstein's name on the list of famous INTPs, I know I will never hang his poster on my wall because of how he treated his children. I also see that I must watch myself. Like right now, dabbling in the theoretical rather than playing with my 3 year old. Bye 😉