7 Confessions of an INTP Female

///7 Confessions of an INTP Female

intp female

INTP personality type is one of the rarest, making just 3% of the population. This means that an INTP female is literally an endangered species, with 1%.

What makes women with INTP type so rare? Probably, a set of unusual personality traits and quirks, most of which are not typical for women. If you ever happen to meet an INTP female, you’d better forget about gender stereotypes as she will be nothing like the society’s image of how a woman should be.

Here are some of the quirky traits and perceptions which will only ring true for a woman with INTP personality type:

1. We don’t care about looks as much as most women do

Most women follow certain self-care and beauty routines every day to look more attractive. Washing your hair, doing some hair styling and applying makeup are sacred rituals for any woman. However, an INTP female may find it difficult to stick with these daily self-care activities. I’m not saying that we shower once a month or never make up our face – we are just not so concerned with our physical appearance.

INTPs, both men and women, tend to be more focused on the things which are beyond the material side of existence. For this reason, it just doesn’t make sense for us to spend hours of our time for the sake of looking better. We’d better read an interesting book or immerse in an inner dialogue on a meaningful topic.

2. We don’t like girly stuff and we struggle to make friends with other women

Some men think that all women enjoy things like shopping, manicure and reading fashion magazines. Well, it’s certainly not the case with female INTPs. We are just not interested in this stuff and are bored to spend our time and energy on it, for the reasons described in the previous point. This also makes it difficult for us to relate to other women, especially those who love talking about nails, celebrities and clothes.

But it’s not only about interests – we struggle to make friends with other women simply because our way of thinking is different. Sometimes it feels that we can easier relate to men than to women because we highly rely on logical thinking (IN(T)P stands for thinking). So all those jokes about the “women’s logic” are certainly not about female INTPs.

3. We are really terrible housewives

Housekeeping and cooking are certainly not our cup of tea, which is another way an INTP female breaks gender stereotypes. INTP is an example of chaotic mind, so anything that has to do with putting things into order is not our thing. So if you are a man who seeks a perfect housewife who will cook and clean, be sure that a relationship with an INTP female is not going to work.

This is mainly caused by the traits discussed in the first point – anything about the material side of life is not of great interest for INTPs. As long as we have something great to occupy our mind with, we just don’t notice that mess in the room and it doesn’t bother us at all.

Another reason why women with INTP personality are such bad housewives is that we are incredibly impractical. According to the Myers–Briggs Type Indicator, there are sensing and intuitive types. The first ones have pretty good practical skills while the latter ones (I(N)TP stands for intuition) are better at working with theoretical concepts.

This basically means that we would find it easier to solve a mathematical equation (if we are math geeks, of course) than to choose the right fabric softener for our washing machine. Sometimes, these kinds of mundane tasks make us feel completely incapable and helpless.

4. We are useless at social relations

This lack of practical thinking also influences our ability to engage in social interaction. INTPs are some of the most socially awkward and quirky personalities who seem to lack any social skills.

It doesn’t mean that we hate people and don’t like to be involved in an interesting discussion though. We just don’t do well with superficial connections which are based solely on the social obligation. And we absolutely can’t stand small talk.

That’s why an INTP female may be perceived as arrogant or weird by the people she doesn’t feel connected to.

5. Lovey-dovey stuff is not for us

Most women adore flowers, cute gifts and other expressions of love in its romantic sense. But not the INTP ones. We tend to look for the essence of things, so more superficial expressions of affection like giving teddy bears or calling sweet names don’t touch us.

What really touches us though is to feel understood and appreciated for our personality and intellect. For an INTP female, there is nothing better than to have a deep conversation about meaningful things with her significant other.

6. We highly value independence and healthy boundaries

Independence in any sphere of life is one of the highest priorities for an INTP. For this reason, people with this personality type rarely work in office jobs or public/military service. So it’s highly unlikely to see an INTP female working as a personal assistant or a client manager.

The same is true for relationships – an INTP needs healthy boundaries and a certain degree of freedom. This personality type also tends to be highly reserved (INTP stands for introversion), so we need pretty much time to stay alone with our thoughts.

That’s why an INTP female will never tolerate possessive behaviors in a relationship. She’d better be alone than with a man who tells her what to do or where to or not to go.

7. We struggle with starting a family

Since this personality type tends to highly rely on independence and needs a personal space, starting a family can be a great challenge for an INTP female. Even if we are lucky to have a great man in our life, the idea of having children really frightens us. Because in this case, we will have to sacrifice so many things that are essential for us – privacy, alone time, personal freedom. And we will also have to face so many mundane problems which accompany the upbringing of kids.

The truth is that INTPs rarely make great parents because we fail to devote ourselves to our children as well as give them the necessary emotional support. So an INTP female is very likely to have fears and doubts about her ability to become a good mother.

As you see from the above, women with INTP personality type bash so many gender stereotypes about how a woman should be, think and behave. We certainly don’t look like the image of a perfect woman the society wants us to strive for.

Do you know anyone with these characteristics or are you an INTP female yourself? If you are unsure, you can check out the detailed description of the Myers-Briggs personality types to find out which type resonates with you most of all.

Please feel free to share your experiences in the comments below.

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Anna LeMind

Anna is the founder and lead editor of the website Learning-mind.com. She is passionate about learning new things and reflecting on thought-provoking ideas. She writes about science, psychology and other related topics. She is particularly interested in topics regarding introversion, consciousness and subconscious, perception, human mind's potential, as well as the nature of reality and the universe.

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  1. Don August 26, 2017 at 8:21 pm - Reply

    I have known numerous women fitting aspects of this personality type, but perhaps not INTP. My daughter is an example. I see six out of seven you mention in her excepting useless in social situations. She won’t ever get married or have children, very smart and independent, her room growing up was dangerous to enter. I don’t know if she ever used a coat hanger. But – she was never in trouble, got her Phd, and teaches at an Eastern university. As for people who do not care for this personality type or those close to it, they must remember the opposite can easily bring aspects which make life miserable. I wouldn’t change a thing about my daughter, nor a woman similar that I loved, just don’t hand either one a coat hanger.

  2. jake August 27, 2017 at 12:02 pm - Reply

    i don’t know or seen any female with personality like that .the funny thing is i spontaneously like masculine females .if she has her significant other they surely can get through it .people always can learn and break the limits.
    what about INFP men? i am infp teen guy my masculine and feminine sides in a fight in order to which one i must follow more i’m doing though. if a female is masculine would she like a male feminine?
    do INTP female count as more masculine than feminie?

    • Nala September 11, 2017 at 9:38 pm - Reply

      I am an INTP female and yes. What you have said is true.. and I am attracted to both females and feminine males. And my husband is an INFP guy. Hope it answered your question.

    • Moop November 21, 2017 at 12:01 am - Reply

      Jake, actually both yes and no. Why would I say this? We are pretty gender neutral, which means we don’t really act feminine but we are not masculine either. Compared to the INTJ and ENTx female, we are indeed more feminine and not really attracted to feminine males, unlike the other NT females. If you want to look for a masculine personality type, look at the INTJ female or at the tomboy ENTP.

  3. Jayde August 30, 2017 at 11:31 pm - Reply

    I am an INTP female. While what you stated is true, for the most part, many of the “deficiencies” identified can be overcome with dedication. I’ve mastered the housework/cooking thing and actually find peace in organization now and a creative outlet in the cooking; I can small talk with people (even though I abhor it). The trick to is ask questions so it keeps the other person busy talking and I just listen. Raising kids was a real challenge for all of the reasons listed and yet my kids would tell you that I’ve been a great mother, and am their best friend and confidant. The lack of personal space and alone time was the greatest challenge, but I dedicated myself to it too. All tendencies can be overcome with dedication.

    • Melanie February 3, 2018 at 3:55 am - Reply

      Yes! I am the same way. I always thought I wasn’t an INTP because, though I hate housework and wifely duties, I knew it had to be done. I hate it, but I put a LOT of time and dedication in it and I can do it now. Not that I enjoy it, but it is just one thing that has to happen. I am scared to be a mother but I know that I can learn to do it, though it will not be natural.

  4. Nicole Donovan September 17, 2017 at 3:20 am - Reply

    I was going to leave a long post discounting the comment about not wanting to be a parent but in true INTP fashion, I didn’t think it was worth my time to explain it to those who would not understand. Simply put, being a parent is the best thing I ever did!

  5. Kristy October 12, 2017 at 7:22 pm - Reply

    I’m an INTJ woman, and I’m fairly certain my teenage daughter is an INTP. This article (and the comnents) we’re very enlightening.

    Thank you!

  6. Kristy October 14, 2017 at 11:12 pm - Reply

    I’m an INTP female and man could I chose the hell out of some fabric softener, well maybe not fabric softener… unnecessary set of chemicals… but designing domestic systems can be a pretty rewarding hobby. My fiancé of 11 years is an INTP too so without good design, nothing would get done but get a robot vacuum, and a Dyson hand held vac for dusting – put it in an easy location, a washing machine and dryer in one, modify a steam mop, set up automatic payments for all your bills (average the variable ones), get all Kaizen on your whole house, bucket for weeds and gardening gloves by the door for tiny bursts of gardening, etc… if you don’t end up sticking to the system, you didn’t make it easy enough, redesign the system. If you get bored of the system, redesign it you didn’t make it novel enough. All these INTP articles make us sound like we are useless procrastinating basket cases but we have the capacity to think this stuff easy. Anything can be as intellectual, logical and creative as you make it. Same with work. I’m not incapable of anything.

  7. Emma November 2, 2017 at 8:50 pm - Reply

    About the girly stuff, I’m actually pretty into that. I enjoy makeup and fashion. The majority of intps I know do too.

  8. Anna November 9, 2017 at 7:16 pm - Reply

    I can occasionally dip into the feminine stuff, but for the most part no, leave me out of it. And I can appreciate the thought behind flowers. Love kids though. Definitely having kids one day. Completely agree with the rest of it, though.

  9. Nameless December 2, 2017 at 4:41 am - Reply

    Everything that you have said is really me. My room is an organized mess- it looks like a mess to everyone else but I know where and what I put in that. And for the girly stuff, 5 stars on that. I find it hard to relate to girly stuffs. I often think I’ll be a horrible parent, since I am zero in cooking and other housewife stuffs.

  10. Garbage Doll December 5, 2017 at 11:20 am - Reply

    I test as INTP and I’m a woman. I’m honestly a tad vain! I love fashion because it’s creative and imaginative. I think the creative side of INTPs is not accounted for enough in most descriptions. I’m something of an aesthete and an artist too. I like poetry, art, philosophy as much if not more than science and math. I’m not particularly masculine….more like an alien!

    It’s true I don’t relate well to other women (well PEOPLE…it’s not like your average bro isn’t a shallow meathead), but stuff like makeup and shoes is the Venn diagram overlap area. It’s the “he said she said” crap that makes me want to kill myself. I can actually be very empathetic, but I stay calm and seek solutions rather than mirror emotions, and this may seem detached. Still, many people come to me for insight . So I have interpersonal skills, but I am admittedly socially dense too.

    I often do hate mushy, sentimental stuff but mostly because I’m a snob and it seems so unoriginal and, well, embarrassing. But I actually love Romanticism as an aesthetic and really appreciate emotional depth in others.

  11. INTPondering December 16, 2017 at 9:23 am - Reply

    There are some truths here but also quite a few stereotypes. For example, I’m an INTP woman, and while I don’t enjoy housework, I know how to bake a mean pie and wash my own clothes. (Sheesh!) And while it’s true I don’t want to be bothered putting on make-up every time I leave the house, I’ve always liked experimenting with different make-up and hairstyles and dressing up for an evening out. As for romance, I love it! No, I’m not that impressed by chocolates and a teddy bear, but if a guy does something heartfelt like write me a song or take me to a special place that has significance for the two of us or surprise me with a unique gift that he knows I’ve been wanting, that totally melts my heart because I can tell there was real thought and effort behind it. I love it when a guy verbally expresses his love and devotion (as long as it’s not too cliche), and I enjoy romance novels, romantic movies, and so on (as long as, again, they’re not too cliche).

    What a lot of people don’t realize is that there are different “flavors” of INTPs. Personally, I think these flavors correspond with Enneagram types. A lot of the stereotypes mentioned in this article would seem to fit Enneagram 5w6 or 6w5 INTPs, but I’m an Enneagram 5w4, and we’re known to be more interested in aesthetics and somewhat more comfortable with emotion.

    Finally, I’m downright offended by the blanket statement that “INTPs rarely make great parents.” What a terribly unfair, narrow-minded, judgmental thing to say! Any personality type can make a great parent if they are mature and balanced, and any type can make a bad parent if they’re not. I’ve heard a number of INTPs say that they love being parents, and I’ve heard a number of children of INTPs say that they’re so glad they had an INTP mom or dad. The strengths of an INTP aren’t the same as, say, those of an ISFJ, but a calm, rational nature, love of learning, and childlike playfulness are excellent traits to share with and pass on to a child.

  12. Nach January 8, 2018 at 5:54 pm - Reply

    I’m an INTx woman and only N.6 and 7 apply in my personal case.

    I do cook super well, My home is super clean and tidy, I like Indian Masala/fluffy-funny-rom films, I take care of my appearance (I DESIGN my own looks, especially my hair), I like interesting gifts/quirky items (they can be cute-artsy!) and I have NO PROBLEM talking nails/home design/gardening with other women (usually because my personal projects involve those).

    I suspect the INTP woman described in this article is a typical Western one, because as an INTx woman who grew up in the 3rd World during the 90s, I just COULDN’T avoid learning Home/Housekeeping/Social skills and DIY, even though I had a computer available at home and LOVED books :).

    Being an INTx does not exclude having strong “sensor-like” preoccupations and habits.
    And yes, sometimes the cultural differences BLOW UP when you look at the specific behaviours of a type. Is it any wonder ethnic minority INTx feel alienated from these online ‘INTx community’?

  13. Bex January 20, 2018 at 4:13 pm - Reply

    Well, this was at points pretty accurate… however, I’ve got a more laid back view of the “feminine” things… If i like something, i do it. Gender roles be damned. Make up and pretty clotes are fun and great ways of expression. Sure, gossip and chit-chat bores the hell out of me… And im awesome at cooking and very handy. However, i hate domestic activities.
    Spot on about the kids though… Parasites thatd steal my independence and calm…
    Oh and im enneagram 9w1… So I’m pretty odd even for the INTP type.

  14. Kacey February 21, 2018 at 7:57 am - Reply

    I identified strongly with all points except the parenting one. Because of my intense drive to understand and learn, I have found an amazing degree of satisfaction in learning and understanding the uniqueness of my children. I am spontaneous, fun, intense, playful, geeky, and awkward with them, and I think I’ve done a great job so far. Because I love to learn, I taught them at home for a few early years. Our home is chaotic and full of dirty laundry, but we laugh and discuss and research and play Zelda together.

    My husband is also and INTP and he does the cooking. 🙂 We’ve been married for 18 years. I’m a reading specialist and he’s a data analyst.

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