7 Confessions of an INTP Female

///7 Confessions of an INTP Female

intp female

INTP personality type is one of the rarest, making just 3% of the population. This means that an INTP female is literally an endangered species, with 1%.

What makes women with INTP type so rare? Probably, a set of unusual personality traits and quirks, most of which are not typical of women. If you ever happen to meet an INTP female, you’d better forget about gender stereotypes as she will be nothing like the society’s image of how a woman should be.

Here are some of the quirky traits and perceptions which will only ring true for a woman with INTP personality type:

1. We don’t care about looks as much as most women do

Most women follow certain self-care and beauty routines every day to look more attractive. Washing your hair, doing some hair styling and applying makeup are sacred rituals for any woman. However, an INTP female may find it difficult to stick with these daily self-care activities. I’m not saying that we shower once a month or never make up our face – we are just not so concerned with our physical appearance.

INTPs, both men and women, tend to be more focused on the things which are beyond the material side of existence. For this reason, it just doesn’t make sense for us to spend hours of our time for the sake of looking better. We’d better read an interesting book or immerse in an inner dialogue on a meaningful topic.

2. We don’t like girly stuff and we struggle to make friends with other women

Some men think that all women enjoy things like shopping, manicure and reading fashion magazines. Well, it’s certainly not the case with female INTPs. We are just not interested in this stuff and are bored to spend our time and energy on it, for the reasons described in the previous point. This also makes it difficult for us to relate to other women, especially those who love talking about nails, celebrities and clothes.

But it’s not only about interests – we struggle to make friends with other women simply because our way of thinking is different. Sometimes it feels that we can easier relate to men than to women because we highly rely on logical thinking (IN(T)P stands for thinking). So all those jokes about the “women’s logic” are certainly not about female INTPs.

3. We are really terrible housewives

Housekeeping and cooking are certainly not our cup of tea, which is another way an INTP female breaks gender stereotypes. INTP is an example of chaotic mind, so anything that has to do with putting things into order is not our thing. So if you are a man who seeks a perfect housewife who will cook and clean, be sure that a relationship with an INTP female is not going to work.

This is mainly caused by the traits discussed in the first point – anything about the material side of life is not of great interest for INTPs. As long as we have something great to occupy our mind with, we just don’t notice that mess in the room and it doesn’t bother us at all.

Another reason why women with INTP personality are such bad housewives is that we are incredibly impractical. According to the Myers–Briggs Type Indicator, there are sensing and intuitive types. The first ones have pretty good practical skills while the latter ones (I(N)TP stands for intuition) are better at working with theoretical concepts.

This basically means that we would find it easier to solve a mathematical equation (if we are math geeks, of course) than to choose the right fabric softener for our washing machine. Sometimes, these kinds of mundane tasks make us feel completely incapable and helpless.

4. We are useless at social relations

This lack of practical thinking also influences our ability to engage in social interaction. INTPs are some of the most socially awkward and quirky personalities who seem to lack any social skills.

It doesn’t mean that we hate people and don’t like to be involved in an interesting discussion though. We just don’t do well with superficial connections which are based solely on the social obligation. And we absolutely can’t stand small talk.

That’s why an INTP female may be perceived as arrogant or weird by the people she doesn’t feel connected to.

5. Lovey-dovey stuff is not for us

Most women adore flowers, cute gifts and other expressions of love in its romantic sense. But not the INTP ones. We tend to look for the essence of things, so more superficial expressions of affection like giving teddy bears or calling sweet names don’t touch us.

What really touches us though is to feel understood and appreciated for our personality and intellect. For an INTP female, there is nothing better than to have a deep conversation about meaningful things with her significant other.

6. We highly value independence and healthy boundaries

Independence in any sphere of life is one of the highest priorities for an INTP. For this reason, people with this personality type rarely work in office jobs or public/military service. So it’s highly unlikely to see an INTP female working as a personal assistant or a client manager.

The same is true for relationships – an INTP needs healthy boundaries and a certain degree of freedom. This personality type also tends to be highly reserved (INTP stands for introversion), so we need pretty much time to stay alone with our thoughts.

That’s why an INTP female will never tolerate possessive behaviors in a relationship. She’d better be alone than with a man who tells her what to do or where to or not to go.

7. We struggle with starting a family

Since this personality type tends to highly rely on independence and needs a personal space, starting a family can be a great challenge for an INTP female. Even if we are lucky to have a great man in our life, the idea of having children really frightens us. Because in this case, we will have to sacrifice so many things that are essential for us – privacy, alone time, personal freedom. And we will also have to face so many mundane problems which accompany the upbringing of kids.

The truth is that INTPs rarely make great parents because we fail to devote ourselves to our children as well as give them the necessary emotional support. So an INTP female is very likely to have fears and doubts about her ability to become a good mother.

As you see from the above, women with INTP personality type bash so many gender stereotypes about how a woman should be, think and behave. We certainly don’t look like the image of a perfect woman the society wants us to strive for.

Do you know anyone with these characteristics or are you an INTP female yourself? If you are unsure, you can check out the detailed description of the Myers-Briggs personality types to find out which type resonates with you most of all.

Please feel free to share your experiences in the comments below.

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Anna LeMind

Anna is the founder and lead editor of the website Learning-mind.com. She is passionate about learning new things and reflecting on thought-provoking ideas. She writes about science, psychology and other related topics. She is particularly interested in topics regarding introversion, consciousness and subconscious, perception, human mind's potential, as well as the nature of reality and the universe.


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24 Comments

  1. Don August 26, 2017 at 8:21 pm - Reply

    I have known numerous women fitting aspects of this personality type, but perhaps not INTP. My daughter is an example. I see six out of seven you mention in her excepting useless in social situations. She won’t ever get married or have children, very smart and independent, her room growing up was dangerous to enter. I don’t know if she ever used a coat hanger. But – she was never in trouble, got her Phd, and teaches at an Eastern university. As for people who do not care for this personality type or those close to it, they must remember the opposite can easily bring aspects which make life miserable. I wouldn’t change a thing about my daughter, nor a woman similar that I loved, just don’t hand either one a coat hanger.

  2. jake August 27, 2017 at 12:02 pm - Reply

    i don’t know or seen any female with personality like that .the funny thing is i spontaneously like masculine females .if she has her significant other they surely can get through it .people always can learn and break the limits.
    what about INFP men? i am infp teen guy my masculine and feminine sides in a fight in order to which one i must follow more i’m doing though. if a female is masculine would she like a male feminine?
    do INTP female count as more masculine than feminie?

    • Nala September 11, 2017 at 9:38 pm - Reply

      I am an INTP female and yes. What you have said is true.. and I am attracted to both females and feminine males. And my husband is an INFP guy. Hope it answered your question.

    • Moop November 21, 2017 at 12:01 am - Reply

      Jake, actually both yes and no. Why would I say this? We are pretty gender neutral, which means we don’t really act feminine but we are not masculine either. Compared to the INTJ and ENTx female, we are indeed more feminine and not really attracted to feminine males, unlike the other NT females. If you want to look for a masculine personality type, look at the INTJ female or at the tomboy ENTP.

  3. Jayde August 30, 2017 at 11:31 pm - Reply

    I am an INTP female. While what you stated is true, for the most part, many of the “deficiencies” identified can be overcome with dedication. I’ve mastered the housework/cooking thing and actually find peace in organization now and a creative outlet in the cooking; I can small talk with people (even though I abhor it). The trick to is ask questions so it keeps the other person busy talking and I just listen. Raising kids was a real challenge for all of the reasons listed and yet my kids would tell you that I’ve been a great mother, and am their best friend and confidant. The lack of personal space and alone time was the greatest challenge, but I dedicated myself to it too. All tendencies can be overcome with dedication.

    • Melanie February 3, 2018 at 3:55 am - Reply

      Yes! I am the same way. I always thought I wasn’t an INTP because, though I hate housework and wifely duties, I knew it had to be done. I hate it, but I put a LOT of time and dedication in it and I can do it now. Not that I enjoy it, but it is just one thing that has to happen. I am scared to be a mother but I know that I can learn to do it, though it will not be natural.

  4. Nicole Donovan September 17, 2017 at 3:20 am - Reply

    I was going to leave a long post discounting the comment about not wanting to be a parent but in true INTP fashion, I didn’t think it was worth my time to explain it to those who would not understand. Simply put, being a parent is the best thing I ever did!

  5. Kristy October 12, 2017 at 7:22 pm - Reply

    I’m an INTJ woman, and I’m fairly certain my teenage daughter is an INTP. This article (and the comnents) we’re very enlightening.

    Thank you!

  6. Kristy October 14, 2017 at 11:12 pm - Reply

    I’m an INTP female and man could I chose the hell out of some fabric softener, well maybe not fabric softener… unnecessary set of chemicals… but designing domestic systems can be a pretty rewarding hobby. My fiancé of 11 years is an INTP too so without good design, nothing would get done but get a robot vacuum, and a Dyson hand held vac for dusting – put it in an easy location, a washing machine and dryer in one, modify a steam mop, set up automatic payments for all your bills (average the variable ones), get all Kaizen on your whole house, bucket for weeds and gardening gloves by the door for tiny bursts of gardening, etc… if you don’t end up sticking to the system, you didn’t make it easy enough, redesign the system. If you get bored of the system, redesign it you didn’t make it novel enough. All these INTP articles make us sound like we are useless procrastinating basket cases but we have the capacity to think this stuff easy. Anything can be as intellectual, logical and creative as you make it. Same with work. I’m not incapable of anything.

    • Melanie February 26, 2018 at 9:56 pm - Reply

      Kristy – I totally agree. I am definitely INTP (although I’m towards the middle on some characteristics) and I’ve always loved the challenge of redesigning domestic organization. More specifically, I loved making the most of tiny spaces so moving into a larger home (and still managing to do laundry for 5) was initially overwhelming for me. But, I’ve finally developed some habits that work for me. Most of all, I LOVE the fact that I don’t get hung up on little inconveniences, because they usually make room for my creativity, which I attribute to my INTP personality. Like, when I was tired of our unscented detergent, I added essential oil to the wash and voila! I am finally convincing my husband that automatic payments are the way to go – keeping track of due dates is just oppressive.

      There is a lot of truth to what’s in this article, but the outlook is dismal at best. Thank God that I did not know I was INTP before I married and started a family, because apparently the diagnosis should have been terminal. Not so!

  7. Emma November 2, 2017 at 8:50 pm - Reply

    About the girly stuff, I’m actually pretty into that. I enjoy makeup and fashion. The majority of intps I know do too.

  8. Anna November 9, 2017 at 7:16 pm - Reply

    I can occasionally dip into the feminine stuff, but for the most part no, leave me out of it. And I can appreciate the thought behind flowers. Love kids though. Definitely having kids one day. Completely agree with the rest of it, though.

  9. Nameless December 2, 2017 at 4:41 am - Reply

    Everything that you have said is really me. My room is an organized mess- it looks like a mess to everyone else but I know where and what I put in that. And for the girly stuff, 5 stars on that. I find it hard to relate to girly stuffs. I often think I’ll be a horrible parent, since I am zero in cooking and other housewife stuffs.

  10. Garbage Doll December 5, 2017 at 11:20 am - Reply

    I test as INTP and I’m a woman. I’m honestly a tad vain! I love fashion because it’s creative and imaginative. I think the creative side of INTPs is not accounted for enough in most descriptions. I’m something of an aesthete and an artist too. I like poetry, art, philosophy as much if not more than science and math. I’m not particularly masculine….more like an alien!

    It’s true I don’t relate well to other women (well PEOPLE…it’s not like your average bro isn’t a shallow meathead), but stuff like makeup and shoes is the Venn diagram overlap area. It’s the “he said she said” crap that makes me want to kill myself. I can actually be very empathetic, but I stay calm and seek solutions rather than mirror emotions, and this may seem detached. Still, many people come to me for insight . So I have interpersonal skills, but I am admittedly socially dense too.

    I often do hate mushy, sentimental stuff but mostly because I’m a snob and it seems so unoriginal and, well, embarrassing. But I actually love Romanticism as an aesthetic and really appreciate emotional depth in others.

  11. INTPondering December 16, 2017 at 9:23 am - Reply

    There are some truths here but also quite a few stereotypes. For example, I’m an INTP woman, and while I don’t enjoy housework, I know how to bake a mean pie and wash my own clothes. (Sheesh!) And while it’s true I don’t want to be bothered putting on make-up every time I leave the house, I’ve always liked experimenting with different make-up and hairstyles and dressing up for an evening out. As for romance, I love it! No, I’m not that impressed by chocolates and a teddy bear, but if a guy does something heartfelt like write me a song or take me to a special place that has significance for the two of us or surprise me with a unique gift that he knows I’ve been wanting, that totally melts my heart because I can tell there was real thought and effort behind it. I love it when a guy verbally expresses his love and devotion (as long as it’s not too cliche), and I enjoy romance novels, romantic movies, and so on (as long as, again, they’re not too cliche).

    What a lot of people don’t realize is that there are different “flavors” of INTPs. Personally, I think these flavors correspond with Enneagram types. A lot of the stereotypes mentioned in this article would seem to fit Enneagram 5w6 or 6w5 INTPs, but I’m an Enneagram 5w4, and we’re known to be more interested in aesthetics and somewhat more comfortable with emotion.

    Finally, I’m downright offended by the blanket statement that “INTPs rarely make great parents.” What a terribly unfair, narrow-minded, judgmental thing to say! Any personality type can make a great parent if they are mature and balanced, and any type can make a bad parent if they’re not. I’ve heard a number of INTPs say that they love being parents, and I’ve heard a number of children of INTPs say that they’re so glad they had an INTP mom or dad. The strengths of an INTP aren’t the same as, say, those of an ISFJ, but a calm, rational nature, love of learning, and childlike playfulness are excellent traits to share with and pass on to a child.

  12. Nach January 8, 2018 at 5:54 pm - Reply

    I’m an INTx woman and only N.6 and 7 apply in my personal case.

    I do cook super well, My home is super clean and tidy, I like Indian Masala/fluffy-funny-rom films, I take care of my appearance (I DESIGN my own looks, especially my hair), I like interesting gifts/quirky items (they can be cute-artsy!) and I have NO PROBLEM talking nails/home design/gardening with other women (usually because my personal projects involve those).

    I suspect the INTP woman described in this article is a typical Western one, because as an INTx woman who grew up in the 3rd World during the 90s, I just COULDN’T avoid learning Home/Housekeeping/Social skills and DIY, even though I had a computer available at home and LOVED books :).

    Being an INTx does not exclude having strong “sensor-like” preoccupations and habits.
    And yes, sometimes the cultural differences BLOW UP when you look at the specific behaviours of a type. Is it any wonder ethnic minority INTx feel alienated from these online ‘INTx community’?

  13. Bex January 20, 2018 at 4:13 pm - Reply

    Well, this was at points pretty accurate… however, I’ve got a more laid back view of the “feminine” things… If i like something, i do it. Gender roles be damned. Make up and pretty clotes are fun and great ways of expression. Sure, gossip and chit-chat bores the hell out of me… And im awesome at cooking and very handy. However, i hate domestic activities.
    Spot on about the kids though… Parasites thatd steal my independence and calm…
    Oh and im enneagram 9w1… So I’m pretty odd even for the INTP type.

  14. Kacey February 21, 2018 at 7:57 am - Reply

    I identified strongly with all points except the parenting one. Because of my intense drive to understand and learn, I have found an amazing degree of satisfaction in learning and understanding the uniqueness of my children. I am spontaneous, fun, intense, playful, geeky, and awkward with them, and I think I’ve done a great job so far. Because I love to learn, I taught them at home for a few early years. Our home is chaotic and full of dirty laundry, but we laugh and discuss and research and play Zelda together.

    My husband is also and INTP and he does the cooking. 🙂 We’ve been married for 18 years. I’m a reading specialist and he’s a data analyst.

  15. Heather W April 10, 2018 at 6:47 pm - Reply

    Women did not start shaving their legs until nylon was rationed in WWII. Stupid #*!% war, because, oh what a terrible waste of time and energy (same with wars). Anyway, I am XX INTP and was just looking around to see what it’s like for other XX INTPs. I thought this article was really pretty good. She’s right about me. I was afraid to have children but I thought it was because of baggage related to having had a schizophrenic mother. I’ll have to think on this new idea some, I digress… I think the author has a point, Einstein was NOT a good parent. We can all work towards what we want to be, in my case, and more than anything else, I want to be a good parent. I don’t want to be like my mother or my father (psychiatrist and INTJ). When I see Einstein’s name on the list of famous INTPs, I know I will never hang his poster on my wall because of how he treated his children. I also see that I must watch myself. Like right now, dabbling in the theoretical rather than playing with my 3 year old. Bye 😉

  16. Eve May 16, 2018 at 11:06 pm - Reply

    Based off of my own experience as an INTP female, I partly agree.
    Whereas I did take a while to start flirting with aesthetics and the idea of starting a family, right now I find myself to be very passionate about both these subjects.
    What I think makes my approach to such interests distinctly INTPish, though, is how they’ve translated to studying chromatic analysis, visagism and the psychological and political implications of beauty, aswell as minimalistic organizational methods for my future home which are tailored to economize time and energy, peaceful parenting and the prospect of sharing ideas with my children and raising them to be rationalists. <3
    I guess this goes to show how INTPs can be really surprising in their ability to become suddenly passionate around the most seemingly boring subjects and its theoretical aspects.

  17. Missy July 12, 2018 at 1:45 pm - Reply

    hmmm I thought I was a true INTP and have many characteristics of being one. Every test I do comes up with it. However, I love fashion, have a beauty routine, I work in an office as a PA (though hate it of course haha). I am messy but don’t mind housework and love baking and cooking. I also love romance, romantic novels and movies. So not sure I completely agree with these traits you have listed – I thought we were supposed to have rose coloured glasses on and believe in romance. I am a loner though and not good at relationships because I feel too different to others and like my independence and freedom. I feel I can never really show someone my true self. It’s weird to love romance but yet find it hard to actually experience it in reality. I tried and got hurt and feel that was it for me. I’m like the quirky creative person at work and don’t fit in because I am not like them yet I torture myself going to work, sitting in my pod like a battery hen not seeing the outside world. All I want is to be free, to be me and not be told what to do. That to me is a true INTP!

  18. Jennifer Baldwin July 23, 2018 at 6:21 am - Reply

    Lots of truth here, but even though I’m an extreme INTP, I can’t agree with all points. I love taking care of myself and looking as good as I can. You could call it an art form. I also glory in my femininity. While general female conversation bores me (can’t deny that), I do love well defined gender behaviors. I find beauty in the extreme opposites of the sexes – feminine women; masculine men. I also LOVE being a mom to four daughters. I played with dolls as a little girl, and dreamed of being a mom some day. Yes, some things are more challenging for our personality type, since we indeed are less practical, but still! I think we INTPs make great parents in a way that other temperaments do not.

    Introversion should not be confused with sociability. You can be an extreme introvert and be very social. I know that from experience.

    As for awkward . . . I never knew I was so awkward, but my teenage daughters have enlightened me. I hate that part of me.

  19. Tammy July 27, 2018 at 10:35 pm - Reply

    I am an INTP female who grew up a tomboy and always got along better with boys than girls. As an adult, most of my jobs have been in the male fields. With many jobs, I have been the only female. I can recall two jobs I have had where all were female I lasted 2 1/2 months at the most.

    I never grew out of the tomboy “stage” and have always believed makeup was for clowns. Because of my tomboy ways, I have been labeled as gay by many and very odd by many more. I am a true heterosexual that has struggled greatly with relationships. No male thus far cares to understand my ways, nor will give me the freedom to be myself and trust me with my independence. It’s a gift, for I am free from the influence of another and am finding out more about myself everyday.

  20. Marina August 15, 2018 at 2:16 am - Reply

    Hi all, I’m INTP woman and bit of everything above. At the moment I’m struggling with self doubts, low self-confidence and I’m close to the change of the career path. I am literally forsing myself to stop procrastination, to continue what I have started and to believe in me.
    Is someone else going through this or had something like this?

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