7 Confessions of an INTP Female

Published by
Anna LeMind, B.A.

INTP personality type is one of the rarest, making just 3% of the population. This means that an INTP female is literally an endangered species, with 1%.

What makes women with INTP type so rare? Probably, a set of unusual personality traits and quirks, most of which are not typical of women. If you ever happen to meet an INTP female, you’d better forget about gender stereotypes as she will be nothing like the society’s image of how a woman should be.

Here are some of the quirky traits and perceptions which will only ring true for a woman with INTP personality type:

1. We don’t care about looks as much as most women do

Most women follow certain self-care and beauty routines every day to look more attractive. Washing your hair, doing some hair styling and applying makeup are sacred rituals for any woman. However, an INTP female may find it difficult to stick with these daily self-care activities. I’m not saying that we shower once a month or never make up our face – we are just not so concerned with our physical appearance.

INTPs, both men and women, tend to be more focused on the things which are beyond the material side of existence. For this reason, it just doesn’t make sense for us to spend hours of our time for the sake of looking better. We’d better read an interesting book or immerse in an inner dialogue on a meaningful topic.

2. We don’t like girly stuff and we struggle to make friends with other women

Some men think that all women enjoy things like shopping, manicure and reading fashion magazines. Well, it’s certainly not the case with female INTPs. We are just not interested in this stuff and are bored to spend our time and energy on it, for the reasons described in the previous point. This also makes it difficult for us to relate to other women, especially those who love talking about nails, celebrities and clothes.

But it’s not only about interests – we struggle to make friends with other women simply because our way of thinking is different. Sometimes it feels that we can easier relate to men than to women because we highly rely on logical thinking (IN(T)P stands for thinking). So all those jokes about the “women’s logic” are certainly not about female INTPs.

3. We are really terrible housewives

Housekeeping and cooking are certainly not our cup of tea, which is another way an INTP female breaks gender stereotypes. INTP is an example of chaotic mind, so anything that has to do with putting things into order is not our thing. So if you are a man who seeks a perfect housewife who will cook and clean, be sure that a relationship with an INTP female is not going to work.

This is mainly caused by the traits discussed in the first point – anything about the material side of life is not of great interest for INTPs. As long as we have something great to occupy our mind with, we just don’t notice that mess in the room and it doesn’t bother us at all.

Another reason why women with INTP personality are such bad housewives is that we are incredibly impractical. According to the Myers–Briggs Type Indicator, there are sensing and intuitive types. The first ones have pretty good practical skills while the latter ones (I(N)TP stands for intuition) are better at working with theoretical concepts.

This basically means that we would find it easier to solve a mathematical equation (if we are math geeks, of course) than to choose the right fabric softener for our washing machine. Sometimes, these kinds of mundane tasks make us feel completely incapable and helpless.

4. We are useless at social relations

This lack of practical thinking also influences our ability to engage in social interaction. INTPs are some of the most socially awkward and quirky personalities who seem to lack any social skills.

It doesn’t mean that we hate people and don’t like to be involved in an interesting discussion though. We just don’t do well with superficial connections which are based solely on the social obligation. And we absolutely can’t stand small talk.

That’s why an INTP female may be perceived as arrogant or weird by the people she doesn’t feel connected to.

5. Lovey-dovey stuff is not for us

Most women adore flowers, cute gifts and other expressions of love in its romantic sense. But not the INTP ones. We tend to look for the essence of things, so more superficial expressions of affection like giving teddy bears or calling sweet names don’t touch us.

What really touches us though is to feel understood and appreciated for our personality and intellect. For an INTP female, there is nothing better than to have a deep conversation about meaningful things with her significant other.

6. We highly value independence and healthy boundaries

Independence in any sphere of life is one of the highest priorities for an INTP. For this reason, people with this personality type rarely work in office jobs or public/military service. So it’s highly unlikely to see an INTP female working as a personal assistant or a client manager.

The same is true for relationships – an INTP needs healthy boundaries and a certain degree of freedom. This personality type also tends to be highly reserved (INTP stands for introversion), so we need pretty much time to stay alone with our thoughts.

That’s why an INTP female will never tolerate possessive behaviors in a relationship. She’d better be alone than with a man who tells her what to do or where to or not to go.

7. We struggle with starting a family

Since this personality type tends to highly rely on independence and needs a personal space, starting a family can be a great challenge for an INTP female. Even if we are lucky to have a great man in our life, the idea of having children really frightens us. Because in this case, we will have to sacrifice so many things that are essential for us – privacy, alone time, personal freedom. And we will also have to face so many mundane problems which accompany the upbringing of kids.

The truth is that INTPs rarely make great parents because we fail to devote ourselves to our children as well as give them the necessary emotional support. So an INTP female is very likely to have fears and doubts about her ability to become a good mother.

As you see from the above, women with INTP personality type bash so many gender stereotypes about how a woman should be, think and behave. We certainly don’t look like the image of a perfect woman the society wants us to strive for.

Do you know anyone with these characteristics or are you an INTP female yourself? If you are unsure, you can check out the detailed description of the Myers-Briggs personality types to find out which type resonates with you most of all.

Please feel free to share your experiences in the comments below.

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  • I have known numerous women fitting aspects of this personality type, but perhaps not INTP. My daughter is an example. I see six out of seven you mention in her excepting useless in social situations. She won't ever get married or have children, very smart and independent, her room growing up was dangerous to enter. I don't know if she ever used a coat hanger. But - she was never in trouble, got her Phd, and teaches at an Eastern university. As for people who do not care for this personality type or those close to it, they must remember the opposite can easily bring aspects which make life miserable. I wouldn't change a thing about my daughter, nor a woman similar that I loved, just don't hand either one a coat hanger.

  • i don't know or seen any female with personality like that .the funny thing is i spontaneously like masculine females .if she has her significant other they surely can get through it .people always can learn and break the limits.
    what about INFP men? i am infp teen guy my masculine and feminine sides in a fight in order to which one i must follow more i'm doing though. if a female is masculine would she like a male feminine?
    do INTP female count as more masculine than feminie?

    • I am an INTP female and yes. What you have said is true.. and I am attracted to both females and feminine males. And my husband is an INFP guy. Hope it answered your question.

    • Jake, actually both yes and no. Why would I say this? We are pretty gender neutral, which means we don't really act feminine but we are not masculine either. Compared to the INTJ and ENTx female, we are indeed more feminine and not really attracted to feminine males, unlike the other NT females. If you want to look for a masculine personality type, look at the INTJ female or at the tomboy ENTP.

  • I am an INTP female. While what you stated is true, for the most part, many of the "deficiencies" identified can be overcome with dedication. I've mastered the housework/cooking thing and actually find peace in organization now and a creative outlet in the cooking; I can small talk with people (even though I abhor it). The trick to is ask questions so it keeps the other person busy talking and I just listen. Raising kids was a real challenge for all of the reasons listed and yet my kids would tell you that I've been a great mother, and am their best friend and confidant. The lack of personal space and alone time was the greatest challenge, but I dedicated myself to it too. All tendencies can be overcome with dedication.

    • Yes! I am the same way. I always thought I wasn't an INTP because, though I hate housework and wifely duties, I knew it had to be done. I hate it, but I put a LOT of time and dedication in it and I can do it now. Not that I enjoy it, but it is just one thing that has to happen. I am scared to be a mother but I know that I can learn to do it, though it will not be natural.

  • I was going to leave a long post discounting the comment about not wanting to be a parent but in true INTP fashion, I didn't think it was worth my time to explain it to those who would not understand. Simply put, being a parent is the best thing I ever did!

  • I'm an INTJ woman, and I'm fairly certain my teenage daughter is an INTP. This article (and the comnents) we're very enlightening.

    Thank you!

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