6 Signs Your Resistance to Change Ruins Your Life & How to Overcome It

Published by
Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

Resistance to change may ensure your comfort and familiarity. But it can also ruin your life by limiting your potential.

I’ll be honest. I have always hated change. It seems that just when I’ve become comfortable, something threatens to take that comfort away from me, forcing me to re-evaluate the course of my life.

Hating change seems to have been one of my life mottos. Although I have changed many things in my life, I’ve tried to settle firmly into a scenario for years. I just felt protected that way.

Is resistance to change really ruining my life?

This tendency can be secretly destroying your life. So today, we will take the journey together. How about that? You see, since I hate change so much, I can learn as you learn why it’s so unhealthy to give in to this feeling.

The only way to understand just how much damage we’re doing to your lives is to examine the signs… the signs which point to the ruination of what we know.

1. Chaos and anger

Believe it or not, resistance to change exhibits chaos. This is generally because you panic due to the threat of changing routine or other things that have been constant thus far. You see, when someone hates change, they will do whatever it takes to remain in their comfort zone. As they fight to stay there, nothing makes sense to them.

You will notice how someone is ruining their life by the energy they put into fighting change. You can tell by the confusion and chaos which surrounds them most times. Unfortunately, no matter how hard they fight, change will come none-the-less. This rebellion and stubbornness are what has the ability to ruin lives.

2. Trapped in patterns

If you resist change, you will find yourself stuck in a pattern. While patterns may feel safe, they keep you from moving ahead, becoming a better person, and even taking responsibility for your actions. If you are comfortable with these patterns, you will resist change. It can ultimately do quite a bit of damage.

From a personal standpoint, I can say this. I developed several patterns that feel good to my flesh. These are simple patterns like having coffee every morning and watching an early morning show.

Now, if I was honest with myself, I would suggest a change of routine, like having tea instead or taking a walk outside in the morning. Sometimes I do feel trapped in patterns and imagine my life wasting away. I think, maybe, I’m making progress by admitting this.

3. Low self-esteem

It’s obvious that resistance to change is ruining your life when your self-image suffers. Change pulls you out of your norm and coaxes you to meet new people and enjoy new activities. Your low-self esteem keeps you away from these things, and this ages you and even affects your health.

Now, I hate to admit this, but socializing a bit is actually healthy. I know this, and yet, I really don’t like it that much. I think sometimes that I am insecure, and this keeps me from coming out of my shell. Too much hiding away can take many good things from your life.

4. Drinking and substances

Resistance to change often makes people turn to alcohol or drugs to avoid things. In an attempt to stay in control, these people will numb themselves.

I have seen others who refused to change their lives and watched as they drank themselves to death. I have seen others resort to drugs in order to avoid facing who they really are. As you know, alcoholism or substance abuse can definitely ruin your life.

The truth is that substances reinforce illusions. It seems as though it would be easier to face yourself than to try and hold onto an illusion which makes you comfortable.

In cases such as this, when someone suggests changes and improvements, the illusion will not allow this option. Some rather live their entire lives thinking everything is fine and nothing needs improvement or change. It’s devastating and sad.

5. Staying in bad relationships

One of the most common indicators that someone is ruining their lives because of their resistance to change is when they stay in bad relationships. There are many reasons why people do this, including, low self-esteem, loneliness, compassion, and boredom. Some people actually feel comfortable despite abusive or dysfunctional circumstances.

There is a feeling deep within a person which says “go” when the time comes to end a relationship. Many times, people ignore this intuition. They also ignore signs which say a change is needed. Unfortunately, people stay in hopes that things will eventually get better. You might say, they are ruining their lives.

6. Making excuses

Did you know that simply making excuses can also ruin your life? When you resist change, you will make every excuse you can think of as to why you shouldn’t alter aspects of your existence. If someone suggests you pick up a hobby, you will say you don’t have time. If someone suggests that you socialize, you will make another excuse for that.

When you start making excuses as to why you shouldn’t change something, you are on the road to nowhere. You cannot grow without change. Change is just something that will happen at some point or time, whether you like it or not. Excuses can only halt change for so long. Remember this.

Let it happen, let it go, and see the truth

There comes a time when change is harsh and painful. There are times when change is smooth and uneventful. However, you usually have little idea of all the effects of change. If there’s something that frightens you, just keep in mind that this change can also have hidden possibilities you may like.

You must fight your resistance to change. I know I have to work on this too. No, I don’t like change, it rips me from my safe place and challenges me to be more. And that’s just it! Without change, we may still have those sanctuaries we hold dear, but yet, we may not have the dreams we so long to attain either.

Let’s step out and embrace change.

References:

  1. https://www.lifehack.org
  2. https://hbr.org

View Comments

  • I grew 2 inches at 26 and it literally changed everything for me. Anyone looking for a life changing confidence boost definitely check out heightify.com. They sell subliminal tracks that increase height at any age, which I didnt even think was possible.

  • "socializing a bit is actually healthy"- I also believe in that. And too much hiding can take away your happiness. We just have to surround ourselves with the people who value and love us. They can help building your confidence. Thanks for sharing.

    • I understand this. The problem I often have is my high expectations of people I choose to associate with. I have an extremely small group that I call friends, and most of them are my blood relations. I have problems trusting people and I am quickly disappointed by the inconsiderate actions of others. I hate to admit this conceited attitude, as most people see this as conceited, and maybe it is, but I just don't like being around people who hurt me. Due to my past, it seems to get harder and harder to trust, and so I close myself off to the world.

      Thank you for reminding me that there are other ways to look at things. I hope I can find a way to go about these things in a healthy manner.