“Things only introvert or extroverts will understand!” Well, what about the ambiverts? Wait?! What?!
I have been an extrovert for the better part of my life, or at least I thought I was. Come to think of it, maybe I’ve been an introvert all of my life? On the one hand, I thrive within the company of others. It energizes me, but THEN, it drains me. On the other hand, I also enjoy my quiet time alone to reflect, but THEN, I’m lonely and my thoughts are all over the place.
I never really “fit” into either category very well. Personality test results are always inconclusive for me. I appear to be all over the place. Well, it turns out that I am both an introvert and extrovert, or neither, depending on the context of how you look at things. I’m not confused, I’m just an ambivert. The term “ambivert” may be new to you, but it may also define and shed some light on your own personality type.
To simplify it, an ambivert is a person who has both introversion and extroversion qualities and may bounce between the two. Sounds a tad bi-polar, right? It can seem that way sometimes, but honestly, it’s more of a need for balance.
The ambivert loves social settings and being around others, but we also need our solitude. Too much time on either the introvert or extrovert side will make us moody and unhappy. Balance is the key for us ambiverts!
An ambivert is rather balanced for the most part, or at least we try to be. We seek social settings, like meeting new people, and enjoy the company of others. We aren’t overly loud and aggressive like the extrovert can be, but we enjoy being outgoing and do so on our own terms. We also enjoy our solitude but aren’t quite as extreme with it as the introvert. We need both settings rather equally to be fully happy.
As I mentioned above, we don’t function too well in either direction for extensive amounts of time. We can neither be the life of the party all the time nor constantly spend time on our own. When this happens, we may find ourselves feeling bored or exhausted. Again, we need balance.
With that being said, the ambivert can sometimes be confusing to others. Having both traits, we can sway too far in either direction rather easily. Our behaviors are likely to change with the situation, and we can easily become “unbalanced.” We enjoy doing something… until we don’t. These behavior “fluctuations” are a result of our need to stay balanced between the different levels of stimulation.
We have our personal preferences, of course, but we adjust pretty well in most situations (as long as we don’t stay there too long and get bored or unbalanced). Ambiverts can work well alone or in groups. We can take charge or step down when the situation calls for it. We also have game plans in order for most things or potential problems that may arise. On the downside, this level of flexibility can cause us to be indecisive.
An ambivert also has a pretty good understanding of people overall and different surroundings/settings. We are highly intuitive and can sense the emotions of others while likely being able to relate to them in many ways. We aren’t afraid to talk, but we also like to observe and listen. Ambiverts are likely to know when to help or stay back.
Having some understanding of the different traits can help you to know yourself and others better and perhaps make you more successful in your daily life. So, if you can relate to the above, you just may be an ambivert too.
Do you think you might be an ambivert? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below!
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I definitely fall into the ambivert category. I also can be described as hypersensitive. Until recently, I contributed by personality traits to being an only child and being mostly around adults. However, my daughter (middle child) has similar tendencies as well as my 6 yr old granddaughter who has a twin sister (totally different personality). Oh and by the way, I was recently diagnosed as Bipolar. Funny huh? Thanks for the information.
Aimee, dear light in the darkness... where are you? You are needed here, as well as a dozen other spots. Such is your value and share of truth. Come home, enlighten Anna's blog-o-sphere users with your brilliance. Missing your lights in darkest heights.
Otto
I'm definitely an ambivert too... But I would think myself lean more towards introversion in the scale. However when i took that test until 5 times, answer 'mostly agree' in an introverted questions, 'mostly disagree' in an extroverted questions, and few are neutral in the middle, and then i still got the same result 'ambivert'. i think yes, i can enjoy both large crowds, interactions with ppl and solitude time but after a long day socializing i just need a lot of down time by myself. ha, idk. but that's how i feel most times.
Great article! It would be interesting to know if ambiversion ties in to ambidexterity or handedness. For example, as a top rep at a company many of us were left handed/ambidextrous (while I write left handed all other activities are right handed though including usage of scissors and crocheting) and most of us did not fit the description of the stereotypical salesman who is 'pushy' or 'backslapping' rather, we were 'low key' and held true to the maxim of using our ears in ratio to what came out of our mouths in working with loan clients as the description test results on the quick test from Dan Pink attests.
You're an ambivert. That means you're neither strongly introverted nor strongly extraverted. Recent research by Adam Grant of the University of Pennsylvania's Wharton School of Management has found that ambiverts make the best salespeople. Ambiverts tend to be adept at the quality of attunement. They know when to push and when to hold back, when to speak up and when to shut up. So don't fall for the myth of the extraverted sales star. Just keep being your ambiverted self.
For more on attunement and ambiversion, see Chapter 4 of To Sell is Human.
I would think at some point I might be an ambivert for the sole reason that I can go from being quiet to being extremely talkative. But that has to do with the mode of conversation. I have a hard time with smalltalk. I might be quiet with many many people in big social occasions. But alone with friends I could have endless deep conversations. Also, sometimes I might do the mistake to flood someone with my own thoughts and passions, even if it's obvious he is getting tired. In that way, I could be the "blah blah blah" person for an introvert, but only monopolizing the conversations, for very special interests not for smalltalk. Yet I was always thought as an introvert since school. I am more of a shy introvert.
p.s. Also thanks to people for pointing out the test is kinda biased. I tried to retake it with more answers towards one side and only if you really really do it in the extreme it might not tell you you are an ambivert.