Whichever way they can, they will project the blame, stating that the other person made them do it, was responsible for their own bad behaviour, or simply did not do what they asked.
It was psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud that first coined the term projection, describing it as a way in which an individual projects their own undesirable thoughts and beliefs onto someone else.
With regards to the narcissist, they too can have deep and repressed feelings, this is because their view of the world is so cut off from real life. It is often the case that a narcissist will blame their partner when their boundaries or rules are challenged. When this happens, a narcissist will suddenly experience a loss of control that threatens the very façade and world they have created.
It is not that a typical narcissist fails to know the difference between right and wrong. They do, it’s that when they themselves fail, they feel such an incredible sense of shame that they cannot deal with it.
Their delicate ego has to be protected at all costs and so the blame for the failure has to be directed elsewhere.
This leaves the other person in a constant state of anxiety because the narcissist’s reasons for blaming them are so irrational and ridiculous.
A narcissist will blame his or her significant other for every single thing that is wrong in their life. They are extremely judgemental and command total perfection from their loved ones. This, however, is certainly not reciprocated.
If a narcissist does something, however small and insignificant that is deemed to be a mistake, and they are caught out, they explode with a rage that is entirely inappropriate to the situation.
It is unreasonable to expect anyone to be able to live under these shifting boundaries and rules. You are constantly in a state of free-floating anxiety, trying to live up to your partner’s unrealistic expectations that change by the minute.
Never knowing when the bomb will drop and your partner will explode about something that was never in your control in the first place. And inevitably, if you get the courage to leave a narcissist, it will always be your fault.
Experts in the study of relationships believe that narcissists target people who have very high emotional IQs.
Narcissists also focus on people who rate highly in characteristics such as empathy, integrity, ability to compromise, authenticity, accountability, and the capacity to love on a mature level. These just happen to be the exact characteristics a narcissist is lacking.
A narcissist is basically an empty husk of a human being who manufactures an attractive exterior in which to fool the people around him or her. Narcissists do not know how to feel love, pain, empathy or guilt, and seemingly surround themselves with people who have the exact qualities they lack.
A narcissist cannot continue putting up their mask to the world on their own forever. They need constant reminders of what it is really like to function as a normal human being. So they look for these types of people and emotionally entangle themselves with them.
However, even mixing with high-functioning people doesn’t allow them to keep up their façade. Eventually, they will go through the typical cycle of devaluing and discarding their partner before moving onto their next victim.
If you are involved with a person that is always projecting the blame onto you, you might be better off looking for love elsewhere.
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Don’t let narcissists define who you are. Stop being ocd and labeling every flaw of your personality and try and live freely in peace from all manipulations. It’s like how so many police officers have a dismal outlook: they only see people on their worst days.ehat about all of the good decent people in the world who never call the police so they can come and see how perfectly “fine” everything is going.these good people and bar people are your thoughts in this comparison. What about all of the other good things about your personality? Focus on those, uplift yourself from bondage and live freely. Stop obsessing over your mistakes and rejoice that you aren’t ignorant of them anymore so no you have the opportunity to change. The stress relief will be enough to comfort you the rest of the way. Until you free yourself from this nonsense you will be stuck in the anxious ocd cycle that guides all disorders blindly.