The veil is being removed and now I can clearly see the reasons for why people behave the way they do. In ways, this makes life easier but in other ways, it makes life much more difficult. Those who suffer from childhood emotional neglect, as adults, are experiencing long-term effects.
The roots of these actions are long and thick, causing a stronghold in daily life. Sometimes, I feel these symptoms as well.
I was left with my grandmother, every weekday, while my parents worked. During those days, I was sexually abused by my adult cousin who paid a visit. Maybe my parents, in a sense, neglected me, but yet they had to work. Or was it my grandmother who was acting in a neglectful manner? Did they understand what they were doing? Probably not.
It was such a different way of life in the 70s. When my parents were at home, they never talked about my future and never really gave me credit for my creativity. It was normal to just keep me fed and safe. It wasn’t necessary to keep me enthusiastic.
I found the support that I needed in my older brother, who provided a small portion of the reinforcement that would give me a reason to live. We are still close to this day.
If you try to figure it out on your own, it could be too difficult. There are signs, however, which point to the root of your feelings. If you suffered from childhood emotional neglect, you may have a better understanding after reading these indicators. Here are 7 signs that you probably were emotionally neglected.
When I refer to being numb, I don’t mean losing physical sensations in certain parts of your body. I refer to losing emotional sensation in your thoughts. Numbness is a place where concerns become trivial, and emotions just disappear. Now, you might not feel numb all the time, but when you do, nothing matters.
You can almost feel like you are close to nothing, void and non-existent. After a while, you may actually start to experience a physical numbness.
Those who have experienced childhood emotional neglect will sometimes be confused about what they’re feeling. They may be angry, irritated or depressed with no understanding of why they feel this way.
Sometimes, they have trouble calming down as well, feeling anger and frustration continually building inside. It’s usually because of the past complex emotions after being left alone or forgotten.
I have noticed with some people in my life, that no matter how difficult things become for them, they refuse to ask for help. In fact, I have felt this strange refusal as well. Using what I understand about the situation gives me insight.
When neglected as a child, you sometimes had no help when you needed it the most. As an adult, you become used to this. Being dependent on someone else is abnormal for the emotionally neglected adult.
When an adult has been emotionally neglected as a child, they will always have this hole inside. There will be a lingering feeling that something is missing from their lives, either a person or a situation that they may crave.
Unfortunately, many people keep filling this space with things they hope will bring them joy but still feel so empty inside. You lose a sense of home and you lose a sense of love if not careful.
A low self-esteem also comes from being emotionally neglected as a child. You feel that if your parents and loved ones neglected you, then you aren’t worth their time or important to them. This is usually not true, but it’s complicated.
Oftentimes, parents just aren’t aware of the effects of their actions. As an adult, you transfer these feelings over to present situations and people. You experience a low self-esteem that sometimes becomes permanent and affects your home and work life.
If you recognize this trait, you may have subject to childhood emotional neglect after all.
If you are a perfectionist, you could have been neglected emotionally. Think about it this way, if your loved ones neglected you as a child, you could have tried almost anything to get their attention, even striving for perfection to be noticed.
As an adult, this perfectionism grew and maybe, by now, you’ve become obsessed with this behavior.
Are you a neat freak, need everything to be organized perfectly, and even require perfectionist friends? You could still be trying to validate your existence. Be careful.
Being overly sensitive about much of anything is a sign of past rejection. You are afraid, and your fear is manifesting through being offended about what others say to you. Sometimes people are only offering constructive criticism, but those who have experienced childhood emotional neglect see it as being attacked.
I never really considered the fact that I could have been emotionally abused in childhood until I understood the repercussions of this abuse. I had so many issues trying to figure out where each one of my faults and eccentricities derived. I
saw my depression in a clear way, I saw my anxious traits in another, but there were things like listed above that I just couldn’t categorize….until now.
I appreciate the ability to learn the roots of my characteristics, how about you? When we learn where our faults come from, we will be able to heal each hurt and replace it with a peace of mind. I think it’s just one step closer to an enlightened self.
We’re getting closer. Just be patient.
View Comments
Yep!
Katie,
Thank you for reading!
I was Neglected and abused by my parents, but I have learned to forgive them and I do not blame them any more. It has taken many years but it does get better.
Simon,
You are correct! I was also neglected and abused, and once told that my sexual abuser would never pay for what he did to me because it would hurt the family. I was basically told to stay quiet about it. I hated my parents for a long time, but now I don't. I hate the society that we live in where shame is worse than abuse. It does get better, you just have to see the beauty and love in yourself and let that rise above all else.
Last three for sure. But I don't mind being a clean freak. I was married to a trashy woman. LoL. Having a clean house is nice.
Kevin,
Thank you for reading, and yes, we have those little things that might seem quirky or they may even be a bit unhealthy, but we can use them to work through the pain and help others. I have so many symptoms of different things, I just stop when I'm overwhelmed and say, "Hey, take a number, I will be right with you!"
If you are not sure if you were neglected why would you go digging that up and add more strife to your life. Instead focus on the issues you know are dealing with and work on them. Don't go looking for more problems.
DUH ! Many people walk through life with issues and never know why. How the hell do you find a solution when you are just walking through life with issues that could very well be turned around and have a better life.stop judging what you OBVIOUSLY dont understand. You have an opinion, great ! and thats all it is. But to tell people to back off from solutions and just be a floater in life is worse than this article.
Thank you for your reply, Charlene, and thank you for reading. :)
Crystal,
Part of the problem with various mental illnesses and why they are not being healed is exactly what you want people to do! Yes, we can all continue to skip down the street and enjoy the weather, but when we find ourselves crying for no apparent reason and refusing to let anyone help us, then we want to know why.
Let me tell you a short story, really short. I was in a relationship that centered around abuse. Well, it turned out that his father had neglected him and abused him. So, in order for him to deal with his own issues, he had to face this fact! If he had continued to skip down the road looking at pretty flowers, then when he decided to slap me across the face with a shoe, it would be quite apparent that something was wrong with him.
Now, I know that we may possibly have those people who lack a certain boundary in the brain and commit all sorts of atrocities, but most people have a reason for their dysfunctional behavior.
IF something is wrong, then you're going to go look and find out why smart people do! Even smart spiritual people with a migraine headache don't pray and refuse to take Tylenol. Really smart ones even research and find out what causes their headaches.....you know....
getting to the ROOT of the problem.
People have behaviors that come from abuse, neglect, etc. Understanding those behaviors can give a better idea of how to fix them. Some people are just heartless and like to give opinions on how to live your life, dont listen to them or the comments in this feed. Finding out why you do some things may help you find a better way to live without those behaviors and have a happier existence and experience in life. Good luck, love and hugs to all who suffer. I wish you all the best. This post may be the beginning to someones journey of self.