They may have a loving life partner, family, and be successful in their job; yet, there is something that occasionally makes them feel alone, sad, and discouraged. As Ernest Hemingway said, “Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.”
Here are six possible reasons why happiness in highly intelligent people is such a rare phenomenon:
Many people with a high IQ tend to be overthinkers who constantly analyze everything happening in their life and beyond. This can be draining at times, especially when your thinking processes take you to undesirable, frustrating conclusions.
Have you heard the saying, ‘Ignorance is bliss’? It surely is – the less you understand, the more carefree and, therefore, happy you are. Being able to read people’s true selves and hidden motives is enough to make you feel disappointed with the whole world sometimes. Not even mentioning the feelings that come along with the reflection on philosophical matters, global issues, and life’s timeless dilemmas that have no solutions.
Smart people know what they want and don’t settle for less than that, no matter what area of life we are talking about. This means that it’s more difficult for them to be satisfied with their achievements, relationships, and literally everything that has a place in their life.
Moreover, many people with brilliant theoretical minds happen to have poor practical intelligence and somehow idealistic views of the world. So when their expectations face the raw reality of life and other people, it inevitably leads to disappointment.
Another reason why smart people fail to be happy is that they tend to be too strict with themselves. And here, I’m not talking only about one’s achievements and failures. Intelligent, deep thinking individuals often analyze themselves and their own behavior in such a rigorous manner as if they are intentionally seeking out things to blame themselves for.
Sometimes, you just lie there in your bed trying to fall asleep and suddenly recall a situation (which probably happened years or, at least, months ago) when you didn’t act the way you should have. This is enough to mess with your sleep and spoil your mood.
Intelligent people often experience such kind of flashbacks into their past mistakes. All this cultivates guilt, discontent, and other negative emotions that can poison one’s happiness.
People with high IQs never cease to seek something bigger – a pattern, a meaning, a purpose. The deepest and the dreamiest of them don’t stop there – their restless mind and imagination don’t let them just relax and enjoy “the good things in life.” I guess the reality with its trivialities is just too boring for them. Such people crave for something fantastic, idealistic, eternal… and, of course, never find it in the real world.
Have you ever felt like you don’t belong here and should have lived in a different era or maybe on another planet? Deep thinking, highly intelligent people constantly feel this way. How can you be happy when you feel like a stranger to the world you live in?
Being truly understood by someone is one of the greatest experiences a human being can have. How comforting it is to sit with a like-minded person somewhere quiet and have a meaningful conversation, realizing that this person understands your ideas and shares your views of the world…
Sadly, intelligent people rarely have this pleasure. Many of them feel alone and misunderstood, like if no one is able to see and appreciate the depth of their minds.
One study found that in order to be happy, individuals with high IQs need less socialization than those with average levels of intelligence. However, it doesn’t mean that smart people don’t crave human interaction and a good conversation. They simply prefer to talk about fascinating and meaningful things rather than discuss food, weather, and one’s plans for the weekend.
No need to say that nowadays, it’s particularly difficult to find a person to have a deep conversation with. Thank today’s consumerist and materialist society for that.
There have been many studies that link psychiatric disorders, such as social anxiety and bipolar, with high IQs. Could it be that these conditions are a kind of a side effect of a creative genius and a brilliant mind? Who knows, science is yet to unravel the mysteries of the human mind.
At the same time, the intelligent people who don’t suffer from any mental disorders are still prone to so-called existential depression, which often is a result of excessive thinking.
If you are thinking all the time and analyze everything in depth, at some point, you start reflecting on life, death, and the meaning of existence. Sometimes, it’s enough to make you want to re-evaluate your own life and, as a result, get sad for no obvious reason.
Can you relate to the struggles described in this article? What other things, in your opinion, make intelligent people fail to be happy? Share your thoughts with us.
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Without a teleological definition of human nature, the intelligent person who asks deep questions is one who will entertain internal conflicts over many things. The more we discover about 'being', the more issues we find: having internal conflict is a recipe for obtaining low self esteem and social ineptitude etc.
Imagine looking through a cutlery draw and finding an extraordinary implement that seems to have no use at all, you may ask "what the fuck is this for?" if you find your intelligence has led to a similar position concerning yourself, others and the universe, you have become a teleologist; you are looking for the ultimate plot!
When applying ourselves to specific purposes and away from self, the emphasis of enquiry is directed to finding solutions that are achievable. The happiest intelligent people seem to be those who apply themselves to things tangible and mundane; however complex and/or pointless they may be.
A scientist for instance is not looking for the 'ultimate plot' they are slowly unravelling truths, knowing that they are just doing their bit for the never ending enquiry which is science: many scientists are very intelligent, happy and content due to this.
For many intelligent people the deep questions are always there in the background to some degree, and to whatever extent they are important to us, they will make us demanding of others and cause us distress unless we also use our ingenuity to make ourselves acceptable in the social sphere as well.
I am sixty years old and a product of 20th century idealism and I enjoyed the social aspects of the society I grew up in, one where people seemed more interested in making enquiry into those things perhaps labelled as 'The Humanities'. I think now that the gross materialism of our current world exhibits the true nature of most people and is more realistic and it carries less false hope. Idealism united people in belief systems, elitisms and all sorts of deception; and they are not satisfying for one who truly desires to make enquiry.
I fully related to this article, the sad part about this is i'm only 23 years old and the things that make me happy are slowly dropping, in fact, i can say that really nothing makes me happy anymore, i am an engineer which is considered a huge achievement in my country, but it really means nothing at all to me, when i attended the final year's party where we get our diploma, everybody seemed happy, i couldn't understand why. Is it something wrong with me? i believe so! i tried psychotherapy but turned out that i know more about psychotherapy than my doctor, i tried smoking Haschich which is a stronger drug than weed, the feeling at the beginning was amazing, it felt like i was reborn again, but sadly weeks after i went back to my sad state, so i stopped, i thought about moving to a stronger drug but i knew the outcome would be the same and i'll be stuck in an infinite addiction loop, so i avoided that. They told me you should find a job to fill your time with, i did that too, unfortunately i was not only sad but sad and exhausted from the work load.
I feel like life is not fair, i gained nothing from sharpness and cleverness is misery, i just want to be someone who can be happy by buying a pair of shoes that's all.
Perhaps you have a vitamin or mineral deficiency? Sometimes, psychological problems are caused by purely physical lack of a substance our brains needs to function. This might be a symptom of anemia, or magnesium or vitamin B12 deficiency. I had vitamin B12 deficiency for several years and it was horrible. I thought I was getting old and depressed (at 39, mind you) and nothing made sense anymore. Then after a week of B12... "OMG I can function and enjoy life again!" :-D I also had these problems when I had undiagnosed stomach problems I didn´t know about.
Positive affirmations have changed my outlook and feelings. GRATITUDE!! And intermittent fasting. I'll be 80 in Nov. 2020
Hi Anna,
great article! Many people assume that highly intelligent people have a freat life, but they have their own problems as well. Overthinking was an issue for me as well. What helped me was mindfulness meditation. I focused on becoming aware of the nergy field inside my body. At the beginning it was quite challenging and I couldn't contentrate for more than 2 minutes without my thoughts trying to interrupt me. But I gradually got better and now I'm way less prone to overthinking.
Anyway, keep up the good work!
Our society is flawed in that we measure happiness equivalently with power, money and success. Other countries like the Netherlands know the true meaning of happiness.