They may have a loving life partner, family, and be successful in their job; yet, there is something that occasionally makes them feel alone, sad, and discouraged. As Ernest Hemingway said, “Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.”
Here are six possible reasons why happiness in highly intelligent people is such a rare phenomenon:
Many people with a high IQ tend to be overthinkers who constantly analyze everything happening in their life and beyond. This can be draining at times, especially when your thinking processes take you to undesirable, frustrating conclusions.
Have you heard the saying, ‘Ignorance is bliss’? It surely is – the less you understand, the more carefree and, therefore, happy you are. Being able to read people’s true selves and hidden motives is enough to make you feel disappointed with the whole world sometimes. Not even mentioning the feelings that come along with the reflection on philosophical matters, global issues, and life’s timeless dilemmas that have no solutions.
Smart people know what they want and don’t settle for less than that, no matter what area of life we are talking about. This means that it’s more difficult for them to be satisfied with their achievements, relationships, and literally everything that has a place in their life.
Moreover, many people with brilliant theoretical minds happen to have poor practical intelligence and somehow idealistic views of the world. So when their expectations face the raw reality of life and other people, it inevitably leads to disappointment.
Another reason why smart people fail to be happy is that they tend to be too strict with themselves. And here, I’m not talking only about one’s achievements and failures. Intelligent, deep thinking individuals often analyze themselves and their own behavior in such a rigorous manner as if they are intentionally seeking out things to blame themselves for.
Sometimes, you just lie there in your bed trying to fall asleep and suddenly recall a situation (which probably happened years or, at least, months ago) when you didn’t act the way you should have. This is enough to mess with your sleep and spoil your mood.
Intelligent people often experience such kind of flashbacks into their past mistakes. All this cultivates guilt, discontent, and other negative emotions that can poison one’s happiness.
People with high IQs never cease to seek something bigger – a pattern, a meaning, a purpose. The deepest and the dreamiest of them don’t stop there – their restless mind and imagination don’t let them just relax and enjoy “the good things in life.” I guess the reality with its trivialities is just too boring for them. Such people crave for something fantastic, idealistic, eternal… and, of course, never find it in the real world.
Have you ever felt like you don’t belong here and should have lived in a different era or maybe on another planet? Deep thinking, highly intelligent people constantly feel this way. How can you be happy when you feel like a stranger to the world you live in?
Being truly understood by someone is one of the greatest experiences a human being can have. How comforting it is to sit with a like-minded person somewhere quiet and have a meaningful conversation, realizing that this person understands your ideas and shares your views of the world…
Sadly, intelligent people rarely have this pleasure. Many of them feel alone and misunderstood, like if no one is able to see and appreciate the depth of their minds.
One study found that in order to be happy, individuals with high IQs need less socialization than those with average levels of intelligence. However, it doesn’t mean that smart people don’t crave human interaction and a good conversation. They simply prefer to talk about fascinating and meaningful things rather than discuss food, weather, and one’s plans for the weekend.
No need to say that nowadays, it’s particularly difficult to find a person to have a deep conversation with. Thank today’s consumerist and materialist society for that.
There have been many studies that link psychiatric disorders, such as social anxiety and bipolar, with high IQs. Could it be that these conditions are a kind of a side effect of a creative genius and a brilliant mind? Who knows, science is yet to unravel the mysteries of the human mind.
At the same time, the intelligent people who don’t suffer from any mental disorders are still prone to so-called existential depression, which often is a result of excessive thinking.
If you are thinking all the time and analyze everything in depth, at some point, you start reflecting on life, death, and the meaning of existence. Sometimes, it’s enough to make you want to re-evaluate your own life and, as a result, get sad for no obvious reason.
Can you relate to the struggles described in this article? What other things, in your opinion, make intelligent people fail to be happy? Share your thoughts with us.
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This definitely describes how I feel, and I do not mean to flatter myself by admitting it. Since my teenage years, I have wondered when my life will really begin. I have earned two college degrees, own a veterinary practice, and will be fifty this year. I am watching my 16 year-old son achieve his milestones, and still wonder when my life is going to start. The years are starting to blend together so much that I often forget which decade I am in. My body has changed, even though my life hasn’t started. I cannot relate to other women in my community, even those I’ve known in my church for many years. The only times I feel intellectually stimulated are during 15 minute intervals, 3 or 4 times per year, when I go for doctor visits. Conversation about everyday things literally makes me physically ill. It seems like such a sad waste of time and mind power. However, here I spend a beautiful weekend alone, contemplating the essay I am attempting to write. It is about the shared characteristics of Marxist/socialism and fascism...people don’t realize that they are opposite sides of the SAME coin, and also that our default human natures lead us down that road without higher reasoning. This is not the behavior I observe in the people surrounding me on this beautiful weekend. My dad is frustrated, not wanting to address any more of my theoretical questions, telling me to stop thinking so much. But I can’t. I am an INTJ personality type woman, which is the rarest type of all. I think it might be the reason I’m so lonely. Then again, I like it this way. Alone. The only relief I feel is when I sleep.
God, as someone with a remarkably high IQ who has completely failed at life, reading these bloated, overly wordy and lofty comments has made it finally clear to me why people hate nerds. We're all completely insufferable.
I have read that the most common MBTI type in the US are the XSTJs. They are sensors and they live in the physical sensory world. I am married to an ESTJ. I have seen no evidence in 30 years of marriage that he is capable of deep thinking. I am an INTJ and like the few other introverted intuitives, I live in a sea of shallow sheeple. It's a lonely, isolating thing. I can't help but feel like an alien from another planet. I see people running around like ants, working and struggling but not really getting much done of any importance. It's depressing.
It´s actually a myth that some types are much more common that others. They´re really distributed more or less evenly. Also, intelligence, sense of higher purpose, shallow vs. deep thinking - those have nothing to do with type. I´m an ESFP, those are supposed to be the least academic types, and I´ve written an encyclopaedia in two languages. My aunt is an ESTJ, she has all the basic characteristics of ESTJs but she´s a deeply caring and deeply thinking pastor. These things are determined by other factors than MBTI type. Like genetics, brain wiring, experience, upbringing and education.
Happiness is the distance between expectation and observation. When you have high and precise - narrow and rigid - expectations and the world fails to deliver, you're unhappy. Expectations are fantasies that take place in the mind, deams, phantasms; observations are lived reality.
I happily have the opposite, where observations far exceeded expectations.
During high school, I had no expectatiins but to dreamily travel the world like a hippy, a mendicant, a monk, absorbing ancient wisdom, swimming in the sea, meditating, etc. After five years of footlose and fancy-free travel and reading and thinking about everything under the sun, I stumbled into university, fell in love with an ambitious daughter of a professor, flew through my BA, MA, PHD, with the greatest of ease and no worries because I was very detached from the whole process, five world top universities in three languages. Now I create, design and develop international environmental programmes through my little two-man start up. Still detached, so no worries. No competition. I have a beautiful wife and two beautiful children, I'm overjoyed. I have been blessed with a very high IQ and great happiness, nay, even more, great joy. Gratitude, vision, don't expect too much from people, enjoy the simple things, eat healthy and sleep well. Sunshine and fresh air, spirit and nature. Strive to improve the world but don't worry about things you can do nothing about, especially about what other people might be thinking. Have a place of value where even if all worldy things - money, prestige, love affairs - fail, you still feel blessed.
I’m suffering from existential depression and this article is everything i struggle to understand about why i feel the way i feel.