They may have a loving life partner, family, and be successful in their job; yet, there is something that occasionally makes them feel alone, sad, and discouraged. As Ernest Hemingway said, “Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.”
Here are six possible reasons why happiness in highly intelligent people is such a rare phenomenon:
Many people with a high IQ tend to be overthinkers who constantly analyze everything happening in their life and beyond. This can be draining at times, especially when your thinking processes take you to undesirable, frustrating conclusions.
Have you heard the saying, ‘Ignorance is bliss’? It surely is – the less you understand, the more carefree and, therefore, happy you are. Being able to read people’s true selves and hidden motives is enough to make you feel disappointed with the whole world sometimes. Not even mentioning the feelings that come along with the reflection on philosophical matters, global issues, and life’s timeless dilemmas that have no solutions.
Smart people know what they want and don’t settle for less than that, no matter what area of life we are talking about. This means that it’s more difficult for them to be satisfied with their achievements, relationships, and literally everything that has a place in their life.
Moreover, many people with brilliant theoretical minds happen to have poor practical intelligence and somehow idealistic views of the world. So when their expectations face the raw reality of life and other people, it inevitably leads to disappointment.
Another reason why smart people fail to be happy is that they tend to be too strict with themselves. And here, I’m not talking only about one’s achievements and failures. Intelligent, deep thinking individuals often analyze themselves and their own behavior in such a rigorous manner as if they are intentionally seeking out things to blame themselves for.
Sometimes, you just lie there in your bed trying to fall asleep and suddenly recall a situation (which probably happened years or, at least, months ago) when you didn’t act the way you should have. This is enough to mess with your sleep and spoil your mood.
Intelligent people often experience such kind of flashbacks into their past mistakes. All this cultivates guilt, discontent, and other negative emotions that can poison one’s happiness.
People with high IQs never cease to seek something bigger – a pattern, a meaning, a purpose. The deepest and the dreamiest of them don’t stop there – their restless mind and imagination don’t let them just relax and enjoy “the good things in life.” I guess the reality with its trivialities is just too boring for them. Such people crave for something fantastic, idealistic, eternal… and, of course, never find it in the real world.
Have you ever felt like you don’t belong here and should have lived in a different era or maybe on another planet? Deep thinking, highly intelligent people constantly feel this way. How can you be happy when you feel like a stranger to the world you live in?
Being truly understood by someone is one of the greatest experiences a human being can have. How comforting it is to sit with a like-minded person somewhere quiet and have a meaningful conversation, realizing that this person understands your ideas and shares your views of the world…
Sadly, intelligent people rarely have this pleasure. Many of them feel alone and misunderstood, like if no one is able to see and appreciate the depth of their minds.
One study found that in order to be happy, individuals with high IQs need less socialization than those with average levels of intelligence. However, it doesn’t mean that smart people don’t crave human interaction and a good conversation. They simply prefer to talk about fascinating and meaningful things rather than discuss food, weather, and one’s plans for the weekend.
No need to say that nowadays, it’s particularly difficult to find a person to have a deep conversation with. Thank today’s consumerist and materialist society for that.
There have been many studies that link psychiatric disorders, such as social anxiety and bipolar, with high IQs. Could it be that these conditions are a kind of a side effect of a creative genius and a brilliant mind? Who knows, science is yet to unravel the mysteries of the human mind.
At the same time, the intelligent people who don’t suffer from any mental disorders are still prone to so-called existential depression, which often is a result of excessive thinking.
If you are thinking all the time and analyze everything in depth, at some point, you start reflecting on life, death, and the meaning of existence. Sometimes, it’s enough to make you want to re-evaluate your own life and, as a result, get sad for no obvious reason.
Can you relate to the struggles described in this article? What other things, in your opinion, make intelligent people fail to be happy? Share your thoughts with us.
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These replies are quite interesting to read because if you just read all of these replies like I just did, I'm about to say I've never felt understood by anyone. I know that pain too well, but at least I'm not alone. Feel free to email me, perhaps we can have an actual conversation; talkaboutanythingwithme@gmail.com (delete if not allowed)
What do we do now, that's the issue
In my opinion what is explained here is probably factual. I don’t know for others but in my case I’ve been confronted many times with mockery, exclusion and marginalisation. That could explain, at least in my case, the discomfort and therefore the « forced psychiatric treatments » I had to endure because of my peculiar approach to the phenomenons I observe daily. I don’t feel people understand me either. I do think out of the box quite often, at least I did so in my childhood. Beside I suffer from type 1 diabetes since the age of 3, which doesn’t help either to feel happy. Anyway what helped me a lot is my interest to spirituality methods like meditation. I had some meditation state in which everything around me disappeared and left room for a kind of a golden light that breathes, so speaking. That was wonderful and I wish you too can experience this.
All the best,
Christian
The ego isn't intentional, it comes because you have to explain in layman's terms complex topics to people with a lower IQ which comes across as patronising.
Recently I was told I was mansplaining in an online discussion, I had to explain I'm actually inadvertently patronising to everyone as I often cannot adequately judge a person's level of understanding and social etiquette means often a person won't admit when they fail to comprehend complex topics.
I'm not overly intelligent with an IQ ~135 but I'd love to know if those people with a higher IQ or better social skills learnt how to cope with having to interact with people that are frustrating from misunderstanding context (patronising was not intended, I have good intentions), subject matter (unable to grasp concepts without serious amount of elucidation and attention) or seemingly just incompetent at what should be one of their core skills.
It's quite alienating, particularly when they struggle and you can't involve yourself (e.g. receptionist who can't book an appointment on a computer, a delivery driver that damages or forgets items, an architect that doesn't use modern design paradigms or materials causing extra cost, a neurosurgeon that orders the blatantly incorrect x-ray profile/orientation - all of these have happened to my family recently).
In combination with the failure to communicate (which is my failing) the hassle of the mistakes that occur for what should be basic or well understood tasks is utterly depressing.
If struggling people bother you, imagine they have vitamin B12 deficiency. I´m quite deft and intelligent but those qualities went downhill for several years when I had undiagnosed vitamin B12 deficiency. Vitamin B12 is necessary for good functioning of the brain, nerves and muscles. It was like having Alzheimer´s and multiple sclerosis at the same time. It was horrible. I must have looked stupid to a lot of people. Also, these people often work night shifts and those can make people sluggish and confused, simply because of the long-term sleep deprivation.
I am one of the smartest people I know and what I realize is that sometimes I lack patience for people who have much greater empathy and much greater sympathy for their fellows. Sometimes we smart people. fail to recognize the gifts that people who have lesser IQs, who feel what we overlook. Being the brightest person in the room doesn't always make you happy.