Are You a Shy Extrovert? 8 Signs and Struggles of Being One

Published by
Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

You may be familiar with the terms introvert, extrovert, and even ambivert, but what do you know of a shy extrovert?

To be honest, I’ve been through phases when I related to being an introvert and then found similar characteristics in the ambivert personality, as well as even the extrovert. I’ve taken many personality tests and met many people who took the liberty of telling me what they thought, but that was just opinionated.

The thing is, only you can discover who you are, personality classification or not. Only you know if you are a shy extrovert.

What is a shy extrovert?

If you’ve ever taken the Myers-Briggs personality test, then you could have been surprised by your results. It’s especially true if you’re shy but your results labeled you as an extrovert.

An extrovert is someone who becomes energized when around other people. They love large crowds and extravagant parties. Introverts, on the other hand, usually energize when alone. With shy extroverts, they like socialization but not being the center of attention.

So, in order to understand if you’re one, you should take a look at a few indicators:

1. Quiet observer

Shy extroverts are often people watchers. Watching all sorts of people pass by on the street and indulging in their emotions and exchanges somehow energizes you.

The subtle expression of animals walking by, an elderly couple nearby, hand in hand, and the boisterous laughter of a group of friends – you love these things, and you don’t even have to be a part of what’s going on…only an observer.

2. People often confide in you

Have you noticed how people tend to come to you for advice? If so, you could be a shy extrovert. Regular extroverts focus mainly on others like them, while you seem to be open to differences and non-judgemental. When friends come to you for advice, you feel right at home helping them work through problems.

3. You are social but in small groups

Extroverted people enjoy large groups and regular social activities. For shy extroverts, large groups and socializing of this nature can be intimidating, even overwhelming.

Small groups of friends are better for you because they allow you to open up without too much pressure. And yes, shy extroverts can be the life of the party as well, just in a small group.

4. You’re usually mistaken for an introvert

While introverts and shy extroverts are similar in many ways, they are very different as well. While introverts get overstimulated at parties, shy extroverts just need a bit of a push to initiate conversations and socializing. When it comes to just being shy, all it takes is getting over the initial fear of speaking up about what’s on your mind.

5. No need for constant conversation

While extroverts can talk almost endlessly about everything, their shy counterparts need a pause every now and then. You need time to formulate well thought out answers instead of sudden rash statements. You definitely rather not have someone answer for you. Shy extroverts can conversate or not, it really doesn’t matter.

Struggles of the shy extrovert

Believe it or not, the shy extrovert struggles with many things. Yes, they love socializing, but they have little quirks that make things complicated at times. Here are a few downsides to being a shy person with the desire to make friends.

1. Drastic personality changes

On some days, the social butterfly can seem happy to make friends and go to exciting events. On other days, the shy extrovert may not have the same warmth at all. That’s why it takes a bit longer to make friends with them. If you do, however, the friendship will be genuine.

2. They usually have to be approached first

Even though they do love social atmospheres, in order to talk to them, you usually have to approach them first. Depending on the shy extrovert to walk up and start a conversation may have you waiting quite some time.

This is because of their initial fear of being the center of attention and meeting a possibly different personality type.

3. Friends come and go

A shy extrovert may make a new friend and even spend hours talking and socializing with that particular person. Here’s the odd part. The next time they see the same person, they may only wave and smile with no intention of approaching them for another conversation.

It could be fear or just the simple lack of need for stimulation from the same friend. It’s just another struggle that’s common among this personality type.

Could this be you?

After I took the Myers-Briggs personality test, I discovered that I was closest to an ambivert, but I still keep looking for clues that could pinpoint more deliberate characteristics.

While it’s fairly simple to recognize an introverted personality, the others can be a bit harder to detect. Pay attention to your reactions to social situations and meeting friends. These could be the best clues of your personality type. Who knows, you may be surprised by what you realize about yourself.



View Comments

  • Well, I am naturally an introvert in my real life in my quiet life, Then I have a few of my best and close friends who have confided in me in a small social group. My out-of-state family don't understand about me enough. So that I have my different lifestyle in my personality so individually. In my experiences in life, I have been the most misunderstood person since my college days before my college graduation with my Class of 1981. Naturally I grew up as an introvert in the human life in a fact. Christa D'Auria

  • Thank u so much from the bottom of my hart for this reading betyer undertanding of who i am and gives me great direction to working on the things i need to work on to become the best version of me that i can become and will become Namaste.

    • You are welcome, Matthew, and thank you for reading. It can take a long time to discover who we really are, and when we do, we should grow from that.

  • How to overcome these struggles, sometimes they get so overwhelming, I feel because of my personality, I hurt myself.

    • The best way to overcome struggles is getting to know who you are, if this is you, then spend more time understanding how this personality type works. Find others who share these attributes. Find things you enjoy.

Published by
Sherrie Hurd, A.A.