They may have a loving life partner, family, and be successful in their job; yet, there is something that occasionally makes them feel alone, sad, and discouraged. As Ernest Hemingway said, “Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.”
Here are six possible reasons why happiness in highly intelligent people is such a rare phenomenon:
Many people with a high IQ tend to be overthinkers who constantly analyze everything happening in their life and beyond. This can be draining at times, especially when your thinking processes take you to undesirable, frustrating conclusions.
Have you heard the saying, ‘Ignorance is bliss’? It surely is – the less you understand, the more carefree and, therefore, happy you are. Being able to read people’s true selves and hidden motives is enough to make you feel disappointed with the whole world sometimes. Not even mentioning the feelings that come along with the reflection on philosophical matters, global issues, and life’s timeless dilemmas that have no solutions.
Smart people know what they want and don’t settle for less than that, no matter what area of life we are talking about. This means that it’s more difficult for them to be satisfied with their achievements, relationships, and literally everything that has a place in their life.
Moreover, many people with brilliant theoretical minds happen to have poor practical intelligence and somehow idealistic views of the world. So when their expectations face the raw reality of life and other people, it inevitably leads to disappointment.
Another reason why smart people fail to be happy is that they tend to be too strict with themselves. And here, I’m not talking only about one’s achievements and failures. Intelligent, deep thinking individuals often analyze themselves and their own behavior in such a rigorous manner as if they are intentionally seeking out things to blame themselves for.
Sometimes, you just lie there in your bed trying to fall asleep and suddenly recall a situation (which probably happened years or, at least, months ago) when you didn’t act the way you should have. This is enough to mess with your sleep and spoil your mood.
Intelligent people often experience such kind of flashbacks into their past mistakes. All this cultivates guilt, discontent, and other negative emotions that can poison one’s happiness.
People with high IQs never cease to seek something bigger – a pattern, a meaning, a purpose. The deepest and the dreamiest of them don’t stop there – their restless mind and imagination don’t let them just relax and enjoy “the good things in life.” I guess the reality with its trivialities is just too boring for them. Such people crave for something fantastic, idealistic, eternal… and, of course, never find it in the real world.
Have you ever felt like you don’t belong here and should have lived in a different era or maybe on another planet? Deep thinking, highly intelligent people constantly feel this way. How can you be happy when you feel like a stranger to the world you live in?
Being truly understood by someone is one of the greatest experiences a human being can have. How comforting it is to sit with a like-minded person somewhere quiet and have a meaningful conversation, realizing that this person understands your ideas and shares your views of the world…
Sadly, intelligent people rarely have this pleasure. Many of them feel alone and misunderstood, like if no one is able to see and appreciate the depth of their minds.
One study found that in order to be happy, individuals with high IQs need less socialization than those with average levels of intelligence. However, it doesn’t mean that smart people don’t crave human interaction and a good conversation. They simply prefer to talk about fascinating and meaningful things rather than discuss food, weather, and one’s plans for the weekend.
No need to say that nowadays, it’s particularly difficult to find a person to have a deep conversation with. Thank today’s consumerist and materialist society for that.
There have been many studies that link psychiatric disorders, such as social anxiety and bipolar, with high IQs. Could it be that these conditions are a kind of a side effect of a creative genius and a brilliant mind? Who knows, science is yet to unravel the mysteries of the human mind.
At the same time, the intelligent people who don’t suffer from any mental disorders are still prone to so-called existential depression, which often is a result of excessive thinking.
If you are thinking all the time and analyze everything in depth, at some point, you start reflecting on life, death, and the meaning of existence. Sometimes, it’s enough to make you want to re-evaluate your own life and, as a result, get sad for no obvious reason.
Can you relate to the struggles described in this article? What other things, in your opinion, make intelligent people fail to be happy? Share your thoughts with us.
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I must assume you to be an intelligent person having written a very apt description of the difficulties of being highly intelligent. Out of respect for your intelligence, let me offer a few points to ponder.
Argument 1. "Ignorance is bliss." Indeed it is, yet John Stewart Mills put forth the argument that it is better to be a sad Socrates than a happy swine. He believed Socrates to have the ability to achieve a depth of experience not available to the swine.
Argument 2. High Standards. The "idealistic view" of the world is persistent in those high in intellect and low in wisdom. The truly great mind knows that it can never know and finds peace, and perhaps joy, in the mystery itself.
Argument 3. Too Hard on Themselves. Perhaps. But then, where is that line to be drawn? Self-criticism can be a wonderful motivator for brilliance to push itself to its sublime limits.
Argument 4. Reality is Not Enough. I have to wonder what is this "reality," and by what means is it limited so as to be perceived as not enough?
Argument 5. Not Understood. Perhaps it is indeed better, as St. Francis said,, "To understand rather than be understood. To comfort rather than be comforted. To love rather than be loved."
Argument 6. Psychological Problems. Here I must defer to Jiddu Krishnamurti, It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society."
I offer these perspectives for the truly intelligent, deep thinker. I have found them useful if one indeed wants to be that "rarest of all things."
Hi Charles, I completely agree with all of your points. I didn't write this article to show that it sucks to be an intelligent person - I described these struggles so that other people who experience them too feel that they are not alone in this.
Charles, don't you think "Happiness" is rarest of all things, one indeed wants to be really an intelligent ??
Charles,
I agree with number 6. Psychological problem is a relative term. If the intelligent person seems odd to the less intelligent I would tend to agree with the former as being the one with the better grasp on reality.
While these traits may exist in intelligent people, I imagine that they also exist individually in many different types of people.
Some are aspects of personality disorders as well.
Like you I also have to question the validity of this information? Is it from a study?
Hi Matthew, you can find the information about the link between high levels of intelligence and psychological problems (with references to scientific studies) in this article:
http://www.learning-mind.com/psychiatric-disorders-high-iq/
I can relate myself with those 6 points, Yes I feel alone between my friends but deep inside I feel happy for being conscious every moment or to overthink. I love to analyse every situation irrespective of past present future.
Found this article very interesting and those fans who answered all had salient points. Common sense is highly underrated and sadly missing in some very well educated individuals, especially in the younger generation. Perhaps it comes from life's experiences.
Thank you Anna, it is always comforting to share thoughts with like minded people, which we very rarely find in the world surrounding us.
I agree with all the points you mentioned, but to truely find mental satisfaction and end this mental gymnastics and related suffering, I think there is no other way than to make it to the very end of all questions-I.e, seeking enlighyenment.i am quite sure all genuine seekers in the spiritual world experience these problems and choose spirituality as no other path provides enduring solution.
I agree with all the points that have been mentioned. Adding to them that people often feel less and gelous when they have discussions with an intelligent person and their low self-esteem appears clearly on their face, which results a kind of hatred that can not be described by the intelligent person as the reasons are not obvious or hidden. So, the negative motives make the intelligent person feel sad and unwanted.