Being an introvert can, at times, be difficult.

People may question why you don’t want to go to that party, or why you don’t want to be around a big group of people – this is only magnified when you’re in a relationship with somebody who doesn’t fully understand introverts and let’s be honest – only introverts understand introverts.

In a similar way, if you love an introvert (and are not one yourself), it can be difficult to understand your partner at times.

Here are seven things you need to know if you’re in a relationship with an introvert:

1. Their need to be alone is not because they need to get away from you

Introverts just need to be alone. That doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong or that they don’t want to be around you. Introverts just reach a point where they need some time to be alone and just not be around other people.

Sometimes extroverts can’t understand that and immediately think they’ve done something wrong when an introvert needs to be alone rather than spend time with them.

2. Liking being alone does not mean they don’t like people

A common misconception is that introverts don’t like people just because every so often they need alone time to recharge. It’s even possible to be an outgoing introvert – somebody who loves to be outgoing and enjoys conversation, but needs to be alone afterwards and likes to ponder and think deeply.

Just because somebody likes spending time alone doesn’t mean they don’t like to be around other people, and to non-introverts, that’s probably one of the hardest aspects of introversion to grasp.

3. They like to think deeply about everything

Introverts like to analyse things, it’s just part of how their brain works. It may take a while for an introvert to understand something and that’s because we seek deeper meanings beyond the surface ideals.

4. Being an introvert doesn’t equal boring

Sometimes non-introverts can see introverts as boring as they don’t like to be out socialising 24/7 and this is just not the case.

Chances are, if you’re in a relationship with an introvert, you’re already aware of the ways in which your partner likes to have fun, but on the off chance you’ve never really paid that much attention, you should know that being quiet and introverted does not make somebody boring. They just find different things fun than perhaps an extrovert does.

5. They might not have fun at parties

Everyone has fun at parties, right? That’s the whole point of them. Well, actually no. Loud, over-crowded parties may be an introvert’s worst nightmare.

Sure, there’ll always be the occasional introvert who enjoys parties in small doses but for the most part, attempting to be ourselves in a large crowd just isn’t what we’d choose to do on a Saturday night, and if you’re in a relationship with an introvert, you need to remember this.

6. They want to really get to know you

Introverts would rather form deep and authentic relationships than shallow, fake ones, which means lots of meaningful conversations about the parts of your personality that others don’t often get to see.

Introverts may come across as guarded at first, as they’re used to internalising their thoughts and feelings but knowing somebody on a deeper level is what really intrigues an introvert.

7. They’re aware of things other people may miss

Introverts are usually people-watchers. They pay attention to everything, which may not come across as a good thing if you’re not used to this. They notice things others may not have considered and because introverts are deeply introspective, they may be great at finding a solution to your problem.

Dealing with an introvert may be almost as difficult as being an introvert. But, as in any relationship, the point is to respect each other’s personality and unique characteristics. Whether you are an introvert or not, we would love to hear your thoughts on that.

Christina Lawson, B.A.

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