If you’re afraid of someone with a narcissistic personality disorder, don’t worry. Many things terrify the narcissist. I bet you didn’t know that.

Looking back along the narcissistic spectrum, we study the drastic aspects of individuals with a narcissistic personality disorder. In short, we can call them narcissists. Even though all of us have a certain amount of narcissism within. But, you already knew that.

But, did you know that there are things that scare the narcissist? Oh yes, the narcissist isn’t as bulletproof as you might think.

What scares the narcissist most?

Is it spiders, snakes, or bugs that scare the narcissist? Well, maybe some of them have these phobias. But, there are other more intangible things that strike fear in the narcissist’s mind.

1. Themselves

Guess what? The narcissist is actually scared of himself. I don’t mean that he looks in the mirror and jumps from the sight of his own reflection. I mean he’s scared of his own soul.

Although they create this false persona, somewhere deep inside, they know the truth. They try to stay away from this truth as much as possible because it’s imperfect.

Yes, most of us feel a bit uncomfortable looking at our weaknesses, but the narcissist can be devastated if they ever truly faced what they really are. That’s why most of them never do this. That’s one of the prime reasons they are almost impossible to tolerate.

2. Lack of attention

Since the narcissist loves to languish in the spotlight, if it’s taken away, she withers. A lack of attention makes the narcissist go crazy. Her usual routine is finding as much attention as she can from day to day, either from family or from the outside world.

If a narcissist doesn’t get what she feels is enough attention from her spouse, she’s prone to find it elsewhere. She will cheat. Heaven forbid no one will have an affair with her. With no attention at all, she will crumble in desperation.

3. Confrontation

Those with narcissistic personality disorders despise being called out on their behavior, especially when it comes to lies. And they lie frequently and without remorse. Finding out about his lies makes the narcissist deathly afraid.

Now, he knows that you know, and this breaks his bubble of perfection. The more people that find out, the more afraid he gets. Then, when you learn to recognize the signs of each one of his lies, his make-believe world crashes down.

4. Not having recognition

A narcissist hates not being at the top. They are competitive, and they expect to always win in whatever they do. With a job promotion, a narcissistic female will fall apart if she doesn’t get the upgrade in her job. She will always be afraid of not getting recognized for her power and influence in other people’s lives.

She wants to be known as the person who helped, changed, and improved someone she feels is in a lower position in life. If someone else gets the power she wants, it becomes terrifying, and she feels empty.

5. Regret or remorse

If you’re wondering why a narcissist is afraid of remorse, it’s simple. Considering the narcissist doesn’t like to apologize, this also means he cannot face remorse, and remorse comes from the fact that he’s made a mistake.

Remember, the narcissist thinks he can do no wrong, and if he makes someone cry, it’s somehow really not his fault, according to him. Remorse means weakness too, and by all means, the narcissist must be a superhero, an angel, or something like that.

Because to be anything less is just unthinkable and quite terrifying.

6. Insults

Since narcissists are hypersensitive, they’re scared of insults. This fear, however, mostly comes across as anger.

When you tell her that she’s insensitive and unkind, she may deflect this accusation back onto you as a defensive measure. She definitely sees any negative label toward her as an insult and it makes her afraid that her fake veneer is falling away.

Quickly, after she’s come down from her angry outburst, she will do something kind to counteract the insults. It will usually be something over the top like buying expensive gifts for someone or helping more than usual. The narcissist is so afraid, so she patches up the insults as fast as possible.

Yes, the narcissist fears things

When you’re being beaten down by someone with a narcissistic personality disorder, remember these things I’ve mentioned above. They are frightened people. But also remember, that finding their fears doesn’t make it easier to deal with them, for the most part.

When a narcissist is revealed for who they are, they lash out, sometimes violently and sometimes not. But if you’re planning on playing on their fears, think again. Narcissists are extremely difficult to deal with and almost impossible to change.

So, make your decisions wisely when you must be around them.

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This Post Has 3 Comments

  1. Robin Lytle-Troeckler

    Sherri I absolutely love your writing,the greatest part is how you refrain from personal attacks when describing them. Fortunately abuse all forms is my first memory. I managed through early childhood, counting the days until I could choose what parent I lived with. My mother has not mentioned if she has been diagnosed, but eventually she will be if not already. My dad was my mom and dad and him and I were exactly alike. He was my best friend, sadly he passed away before I realized it. I am working at my comeback, I have a very extremely soap opera life. Actually my life is better than any soap opera I have seen. It is very toxic dysfunctional and in denial of the existence of their depression and mental illnesses. I will close my letter, in hopes you personally read my reply. I am fighting my estranged mother because she tricked me when I had my daughter Rosemary in 2017, she stepped over the boundaries I had set 5 minutes after she arrived. I trust in the lord, because thankfully, I did absolutely nothing wrong in my pregnancy. They lied and put on an act they had concocted when they found out I was pregnant. I am confident and strong in my faith to see us through this storm and back together again. She, like my dad is my mini me also. Keep on writing this wonderful information, slot of people need to read this stuff, wish I had seen it years ago. Have a good morning!

    Robin L Lytle

  2. Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

    Robin, I am humbled. And my heart goes out to you. If you need to talk to someone, my facebook link is here. I am not sure if it is my author’s link or my personal page. Either way, it should be easy to find.

    Anyway, abuse was my life as well, and i’ve always seemed to put myself in dysfunctional places even in adulthood. What I’ve learned in life, and I am not really a social person, keep that in mind, is that we can relate to each other. This little thing, relational bonding, can heal faster than some other things that we’ve tried. It’s because we so often feel as though we’re damaged goods, and no one is like us.

    There are so many people going through these things, and some of them don’t talk about it. I am so happy you shared your problems with me. I hope things get better, and in the meantime, be blessed.

  3. Michele

    Im so glad theirs others like me, what you all are going through I feel for you all .. my family is dysfunctional including my 28 year old son who’s married I’m a grandma too but I’m not allowed to communicate or see my grandchild at all due to his wife being a narcissist herself taking mine and my husbands rights away to love on our grand daughter
    So much has happened, we stopped all communication when my son told us we were not allowed at our grand daughters first birthday I was livid!
    She took away everything from us, she would hide in the bedroom when I would visit, whenever they needed money to pay their bills they would ask us be nice to us then after take another thing away from us, she would lie about me , I’d let them use my car then afterwards they would take something else away from us we couldn’t post pics of our beautiful grand child she wouldn’t allow it, my son wanted me to text her a apology for questioning my son before marriage if he’s sure that he wants to get married because in her eyes that made me a narcissist.
    When I told them both that how you treat us is wrong they took everything from us my husband gave our son his truck to go to work cause he didn’t have a vehicle to drive we were helping him support his family and we get shit on ! We pay for his cell phone and all rights get taken away cause his wife hates me .
    I called her out on her lies, i told them both that all they are , are takers and never givers but take n take from us . She’s so negative and she’s brought my son down to a negative person as well, any wife that supports that I don’t want to know but them both have a lot more growing up to do she just turned 24 years old my son proposed to her six months after they met now they have a beautiful baby that I can’t have a relationship with at all due to her immaturity. Four years of marriage and her and I can’t make this work cause she’s very difficult to get along with.

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