Most people have experienced bullying at one point or another. However, knowing how to stop bullying from running your life is what really matters.
For some, it is just another insignificant memory from their college life. However, for most individuals out there, it amounts to a string of experiences that leave long-term emotional scars. If you find yourself in the latter category, then check out some of the tips written below to learn how to stop bullying from having negative consequences on your life.
Our goals go beyond that of just offering basic or impersonal advice people can find anywhere else on the web. Whether you were a victim of bullying as a child or if it has seen its way into your life as an adult, we hope this article helps people of all ages, races, genders and religions get the help and emotional healing necessary to overcome such hurdles.
If this has happened to you (or is happening right now), there are ways to learn how to stop bullying and move on to a healthier lifestyle.
So without any more dilly-dallying, here are some of the practical steps you can take when dealing with bullying:
#1 – Don’t Downplay the Situation
We are often victimized without even being aware of it. Regardless of the circumstances, what happened to you matters. Don’t let the bully, your friends, family, group mates, significant other, or anyone else tell you otherwise. It is often hard to blame the people we love. But if you want to learn how to stop bullying, you should know that it is often necessary to get a feeling of closure before being able to move on.
Victims often look for ways to justify or trivialize their situation. They often go as far as making up excuses or defenses for their abusers. It is a defense mechanism that allows them to see the case as having been less significant than it was.
- “What he did wasn’t that bad.”
- “It could have been much worse.”
- “Yeah, I went through all that, but I survived.”
Thoughts like those teach us to see ourselves as being over-sensitive at best, or deserving of the treatment we’ve received at worst. Don’t convince yourself that what happened or is happening right now doesn’t matter. It does and it always will.
Understanding your worth, emotions and value as an individual in such a situation is crucial for moving towards a positive solution. Why miss out on the opportunity to finally find happiness away from such a toxic environment?
#2 – Don’t Blame Yourself
Most people end up blaming themselves for being victimized. Nonetheless, it is just another defense mechanism that distracts from the overall injustice and cruelty of the situation. Victims tend to convince themselves over time that they did something to provoke the behavior.
- “I was such a nerd back then.”
- “I should have just stood up for myself.”
- “It’s too late now. I should have tried to get help when it happened.”
This is not at all about what you did, should have done, or could have done. It is about someone else’s need for dominance and preying on a perceived weaker target. Giving in to a bully or taking his or her abuse is not a sign of weakness.
Most people don’t do well with confrontation and will do whatever it takes to end the conflict quickly. Don’t criticize yourself for taking that approach. In some cases, you might very well have saved yourself from worse by being passive.
#3 – Get Some Counseling or Therapy
At some point or another, we have all been a victim of bullying, either as a high-school pupil or a college student.
If this still persists and becomes a challenge to overcome alone, we strongly suggest that you should seek help from a qualified mental health professional. These individuals help their patients work with their negative emotions and deal with these memories so that they can overcome the situation.
Interestingly enough, some studies have shown that patients can take huge steps towards recovery by using a method that involves writing a bullying essay. They can help people cope with the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) by visualizing the problem and putting it into words. Studies show that expressive writing in most cases does give results when it comes to dealing with PTSD.
All the fear, anxiety and negative emotions can be released through writing as it will reduce stress, relax the body and restore your focus. Even if one never has the opportunity to confront their bully personally, that does not mean that closure is out of reach.
A licensed social worker, a certified mental health counselor, or psychologist are specialists who are well versed in helping people control their emotions and find peace. Even if it has been many years since initially dealing with the bully, the experience can have a dramatic effect on how you view your life and the impact it can have on the world around you. For this reason, it is necessary to know how to stop bullying from ruining your life.
You may need a sympathetic, professional ear which can help guide you on the road to recovery. These specialists can see the story from an objective standpoint and provide advice on how to tackle the situation.
#4 – Learn to Forgive
Anger and resentment are a heavy burden to carry around every day. They are challenging to manage and hide, especially long term. Whether deserved or not, sometimes the most direct route to healing is forgiveness. The longer people hold onto their anger and resentment, the more the bully wins.
Forgiveness is often the hardest thing to consider but the best defense in situations like this. It basically robs the abuser of his or her power. It also releases you from having a feeling of bondage. Thus, it allows you to be happier slowly becoming satisfied with your life.
Learning How to Stop Bullying from Having Long-Term Consequences
With the help of a counselor and the people you trust, it is possible to heal, forgive and move on. Never let the past and what you went through define the person you are today.
Don’t be persuaded that these emotions are irrelevant and people should “just get over it”. If it were that easy, the way we treat each-other really wouldn’t matter, but it does. That means our feelings, as human beings are valid and of the utmost importance.
Recovery from bullying is an ongoing process. There will always be thoughts and memories from a bad childhood experience or a mean insensitive college prank that creep in and try to distract you from being happy in life.
However, it is crucial to work with yourself a little every day in order to release all your negative emotions. You need to put an end to the situation by finding closure.
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.