Do you ever wonder, ‘why don’t people like me‘? Winning the fondness of everyone is impossible and pointless, but you can learn to make better first impressions. So how to make people like you? It’s easier than you think.
Here are six tips that work, which is confirmed by a number of psychological studies.
How to Make People Like You, According to Science?
1. Let people talk about themselves
It will give them a lot of satisfaction. According to research, having a conversation about ourselves, whether it is a private conversation, or chatting on social networks like Facebook or Twitter, generates the same sense of pleasure in our brain as food or money.
“Self-disclosure is useful,” says Harvard neuroscientist Diana Tamir. According to this study, for the sake of talking about themselves, people can even reject the money.
Thus, if you want to make people like you, let them talk about themselves and be an active listener.
2. Ask the right questions
Since people find talking about themselves incredibly rewarding, it makes sense that they enjoy answering questions about their lives too. Showing genuine interest in someone by asking them questions is a sure way to win their fondness.
At the same time, if you use questions to help people become aware of their own mistakes and make the right decision on their own, they will not feel threatened and become more open.
3. Ask for advice
Persuasion expert Robert Cialdini, Stanford professor Jeffrey Pfeffer and many other scholars consider asking for advice a good way to influence people and win their sympathy.
Asking for advice allows you to easily build a rapport with another human being. By doing this, you show them that you value their opinion and expertise.
Therefore, you are making the other person feel better about themselves without even realizing it! And of course, you might get a piece of valuable advice in the process.
4. The two questions technique
If you want to make an uncomfortable question, first, ask the other person about something that will evoke positive emotions in them. Only after that, ask about other aspects of their life.
A positive answer to the first question will make the person you are talking to feel more positive about his or her life in general when you ask your next question.
5. Repeat the last three words
How can you quickly get people to listen to you? Expert on communication skills Leil Lowndes recommends a simple repetition.
This way, you show that you are listening, are interested in what the other person is saying, and allow him or her to continue the story. This type of behavior is surprisingly effective. Especially in the negotiations.
6. Talk positively about other people
Studies show that the way you speak of others influences people’s attitudes towards you. Praise others and be sure that you will be considered a positive person. Gossip and talk ill about other people, and you will be associated only with negative traits.
Thus, to make people like you, stay away from negative comments and sneaky remarks about those around you. Even if you have a good reason to dislike someone, it’s better to keep your opinion for yourself when you are talking with a person you just met.
In the end, if you want to know how to make people like you, maybe you just need to be yourself. After all, if you pretend to be someone else, you don’t give those around you the chance to get to know the real you.
Still, using the tricks above will help you make a good first impression, which can be a useful skill in different social situations.
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