I know what being a bitter person feels like. When I read through the signs or listen to the testimony of others, I recognize myself.

I’m not proud of being bitter. I don’t think anyone is happy about having these feelings. But, unfortunately, many of us have feelings of unforgiveness, hatred, and loneliness – in short, these words embody the bitter mindset.

Having a bitter personality doesn’t mean being a bad person. However, they’ve just had enough of the world’s crap and how they’ve been treated in the past. I can attest that I’ve had a rather difficult time not being suffocated by these feelings.

Signs you may be a bitter person

So, I guess you’re wondering if you could possibly be a little bitter, huh? Well, the only way to gauge yourself in this area is to recognize the signs within your own life. Unlike some other complicated mindsets and issues, the signs of bitterness are a little easier to see. At least, I think so.

Anyway, you can browse through the signs and see if you fall into the category of being a bitter person.

1. Avoiding positive people

I think most people do this without thinking. When bitterness is in your heart, and other people seem really happy, you tend to avoid them. Why do you do this? Well, if you’re not happy and they are, your bitterness becomes stronger.

You get angry about not being able to feel the happiness that others do. You get depressed because the past has robbed you of so much power of good self-esteem. Positive people can literally make you cringe when you’re a person riddled with bitterness. You should be able to pick up on this indicator immediately.

2. Achievements seem small

The truth is, a bitter person could have many achievements in their life, but they just don’t see it that way. If you are bitter, you may downplay the good things you’ve done. They may seem insignificant to you compared to the bad things that have occurred.

Maybe you’ve won awards or snagged great jobs, well, these things will seem small in comparison to how people treated you in the past. It’s closely related to how you feel about yourself in general.

3. Judgemental

A bitter person is judgemental on a regular basis. If you catch yourself talking about people all the time and the things they’re doing wrong, then this fits with the judgemental mentality. You may even call people negative or nasty names because you are so angry with them.

You feel cheated, hurt, and damaged, and so, you easily pass judgment on those who’ve hurt you. Here’s where the judgment crosses the line: you talk about others who’ve done nothing to you. It’s honestly like an infectious disease. Talking bad about people just spreads and spreads until you’re talking about everyone in a negative light.

4. Staying away from everyone

Not only do bitter people stay away from positive people, they eventually just stay away from everyone. They stay away from events and other social functions as well.

Now, let me clear something up, being bitter isn’t the same as being an introvert. An introvert likes being alone but doesn’t necessarily have hate in their heart, while be a bitter person avoids people and actively dislikes them. There is a difference. If you find yourself angry with everyone and refusing all invitations, you might be a bitter individual.

5. Generalizations

A bitter person will generalize things. If someone hurts them, they won’t focus on the individual, they will focus on entire groups that have similar characteristics. This can even bleed into ethnic and gender generalizations. If you notice that you’re generalizing about a whole gender or ethnic group, then you’ve definitely become bitter about something rather devastating.

However, what happened isn’t supposed to make you generalize about the guilty person’s race or sex. No one should be categorized because of what they do. Making generalizations is a huge red flag of bitterness.

6. Grudges, grudges, and more grudges

Bitter people know how to hold a grudge, and I’ve done this. Let me warn you, holding a grudge can damage your life in ways you cannot imagine. For instance, if you stay mad at a relative and refuse to talk to them or see them, you could regret this.

What’s the reason for this monumental regret, you may ask? What if that relative dies and you’ve never gotten around to making amends? I’ve watched this happen on numerous occasions, just because two people were incredibly bitter. If you’re holding grudges, then you’re just being a bitter person.

7. Change is hard

Bitter people have the hardest time changing things about themselves. They often think that the world owes them happiness, and they shouldn’t have to change to grasp that happiness they want.

Are you waiting to be happy while harboring hatred in your heart? If so, then a bitter vine has wrapped itself around the foundation of who you are. As frightening as this may sound, it’s just the raw truth.

8. Anger and hatred

Although I’ve loosely covered these two feelings, I have to reiterate their power in a bitter personality. If you notice that you’re angry at everything and have hatred inside, bitterness is growing. The amount of hatred a person can hold is immense and can blind you to any good and fulfilling aspects of life.

A bitter person will act hatefully and always seem angry. Even if it’s just this seething undertone, you will notice this in yourself.

Can we stop being bitter? Is it possible?

All things are possible with determination and the right mindset. Just remember, dealing with your bitterness is your responsibility. Although others may want to help, it’s up to you to get better. Bitterness is a strong feeling, but it can be countered by pouring lots of love into every single day.

If you practice saying positive things when you wake up in the morning, that’s a start. You should try forgiveness too, as soon as possible, so that you cut a few more of those bitter branches from around your heart. Help people as well because this transfers bitter feelings into fulfillment. You can help them and in turn, it produces usefulness and hope.

Also, be the first one to step forward when it involves grudges. This is difficult, but if you do it, you will feel a release from the pressure of holding that grudge. After all, staying mad takes lots of work, and it zaps your energy. What’s more, it damages your health to stay bitter, so you have to work on this.

I know that you will come up with more creative ways to kill the bitterness inside. Hey, I’m right here with you. I have struggled with being a bitter person on and off for quite some time. I get discouraged, but I know that I have the strength and willpower to overcome this demon. I know you have that same strength too.

You can do this.

References:

  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://www.researchgate.net
Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

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the power of misfits

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